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Can't find a compressor I like

Try the Aguilar. It does one trick and perfectly.
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Maybe I've just got too high expectations, but I've been having a heck of a time finding a compressor that I simply just like. Below are a list of the compressors I've tried and why I don't like them:

Darkglass Hyper Luminal (x2):
- Always had audible (to my ears) artifacting in the compressed signal even in 4:1 ratios. The more compression I added, the more artifacting I could hear, which means the compressor is introducing noise in the compressed signal. I legitimately thought the first one was defective, so I sent it back for a replacement and it did the same thing. Ultimately Darkglass said it was "working as designed", so I got rid of it.

Empress Bass Compressor:
- Doesn't stay on when my pedal board turns on/off.
- Pops when I turn it on/off.
- Sometimes, when I'm digging in, it'll "pop" and I notice that my gain reduction also maxes out at -25dB reduction for a brief moment. This seems to be a lot worse with a very fast attack. For reference, I'm nornally running 4:1 ratio with about -4 to -6dB gain reduction during normal playing, so a random spike to -25dB seems massive and it's definitely not a cable pop.
- I really love the side-chain high pass filter though!

MarkBass Compressore:
- Compresses the low B too much for my liking. It's 'balanced' with the rest of the strings, but I like my B to be big and powerful - especially since many PA systems are rolling off at those frequencies already.
- Easily the cleanest and most natural sounding of the 3 compressors and, if it had the side-chain high pass of the Empress, it would be the end of my compressor search.

Anybody else have some recommendations of a compressor pedal I could look into? Am I just expecting too much from a compressor?

Not to sound snarky, but, if you don't like the sound of compressors, why are you set on using them? You don't necessarily need them.

You don't really mention in this post what tonal issues in you're clean tone you're trying to address with a compressor. You just point out what you don't like about certain compressors. And a lot of that sounds like you're not setting up the compressors properly for your signal.

Like, for the Darkglass, what "artifacting" are you hearing? A compressor (any compressor) will make the quiet noises you make while playing bass more audible. It's the nature of compression: Reducing dynamic range. There is less volume difference between the loud and quiet, ergo, you can hear more of the quiet. Adding more compression like you did will of course add more "artifacts." It's not really adding them, though. They've always been there. You can just hear them now because you're using a compressor.

For the Empress, the popping on/off, and the not going on & off with your board are definitely annoyances. But the -25dB gain reduction when you dig in sounds again like a compressor doing its job based on how it's set up. You dig in, the input signal goes further over the threshold, the "pop" is the signal getting through during the attack period, it reduces the gain a lot and releases the compression after the release time.

Always running -4dB to -6dB of gain reduction during normal play is actually quite a lot if you think about it. If you're using a 4:1 ratio and it's reducing 25dB, that means it's getting 4 times that many dB from your bass and whatever is in front of it in the signal chain. Could be a nasty sub frequency coming from somewhere. Could stand to put a HPF in front and set it to just below your lowest note's freq. Could be you're hitting your pickup or your pickup height is out of adjustment and causing a wolf tone or spike in signal.

For the Markbass, if it's compressing one string more than the others, that string is louder than the others and hitting the compressor harder. Sounds like the issue is happening before the compressor and the compressor is just doing its job reacting to the signal it gets.

If you are dead set on using a compressor, try some more transparent settings. It looks like you're trying to thicken the sound with the compressor, not tame transients? (I'm guessing from your post)
- Pull the ratio back to 2.5:1 or 2:1.
- Use a more medium attack 3ms - 10ms. Even slower if you're looking for more punch. Faster to remove transients. But medium attack is a good starting point.
- Set the threshold so that the gain reduction meter is only peaking at about -3dB on the attack of your regular playing notes. (3dB is double the power.) You just want to be kissing the threshold during normal play.
- Adjust the release so it sounds natural.

And if you're still hearing a differential between the B string and the rest of the strings, check the setup and make sure the distance between your B string and pickups are correct, and then maybe look into a 2-band compressor so you can compress the low-lows separate from everything above it.

But, it sounds like you might just be happy without a compressor. Bass is my main instrument but i spent the better part of the last 15-20 years primarily focused on production and engineering. I use compressors all the time in production. Like, almost every track gets one sometimes.

But my bass going into my amp? No compressor. Not necessary. Helpful, maybe, sometimes, if it's set up right and transparently. But not necessary.
 
If someone found their long-term compressor after only trying three, I’d consider them very fortunate. It took me trying many different ones to finally decide that the Cali76 is it for me. I used the Cali76-CB for years, and now I’m using the newest version.
 
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If someone found their long-term compressor after only trying three, I’d consider them very fortunate. It took me trying many different ones to finally decide that the Cali76 is it for me. I used the Cali76-CB for years, and now I’m using the newest version.
Then I need to buy a lottery ticket cause landed on mine on the 2nd try.
 
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I went through the same same B string dilemma and I own and have great results with the following compressors that don't squash my low B string or suck the low end out of my tone, these are in no specific order:
Keeley Bassist - Made for bass easy to set and forget - Can use internal 9V Battery - dbx 160 in a pedal.
Hagerman Tube - A real tube compressor that is excellent and easy to set and forget, I love this one as it adds nice harmonic richness to my sound, it uses a 500mA 9V POSITIVE TIP power supply.
Airchild 660 (my current favorite, using it with a 5 string, 8 shows a week in the pit) 660 sounds great with no low end loss, easy to set and use on the fly - very effective and sits in the mix tremendously well. I don't even think about it, it just there.
Whirlwind OC - Optical authentic LA2A sound in a box, 2 knobs easy to uses 18V power supply, my first "good" compressor. This one gets overlooked and can work as a compressor OR a limiter, sounds great, rock solid, dead quiet.
Walrus Mira - Optical Has a switchable HPF, this one requires patience to understand, use, and appreciate - 9V
Ampeg Opto - Great sound, easy to use can use internal 9V battery, around $129.00
JHS Whitey Tighty - Essentially an Orange Squeezer with controls 9V -My love and nostalgia for the original Orange Squeezer go back many years, I used it on countless sessions in the 80's and 90's when compressors weren't such a big thing for bass players, that sound got me a lot of work.
 
I started with a Keeley Bassist which worked fine as a set and forget. It sounded pretty good, and I was never unhappy with it.

I had an Empress for a short time and had some of the same dislikes as you posted about.

When the new Cali76 came out I bought one, and I've never questioned anything about compression since. The controls are useful and intuitive, it sounds good pretty much any way I set it up. The cost is a factor but I haven't found anything better.

Those are the only three compressors I've spent significant time with. I don't think I will be needing anything else now that the Cali is here. If it got lost or stolen or something, I'd order another without thinking about trying anything else.
 
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These days, I'm quite liking the EBS Multi-Comp... the Blue Label version with the third knob and only one internal trim pot.

I've owned a lot of the usual suspects over the years. What I like about the EBS is that in MB mode, you can hear the midrange open up and sound much less honky and clogged up. Perhaps worth a try. I might buy it from Guitar Center online so you can return it if it doesn't work out.
 
I have not, but that sounds like it would be more or less ideal to split off the low lows to bypass the compressor and then sum it back in again. Is there a pedal that does that? I've seen several high pass filters that just chop off the low end, but that's not what I'm after.
You could try the FEA OptiFet. It has a side chain feature that allows you to tune the compressor to react more or less strongly to each band (low, mid, high). I’ve been using one for years and really love it.
 
View attachment 5483284 The Trace Elliot SMX pedal is fantastic!
They hard to find but you find them occasionally in reverb , Craigslist, eBay ; right now there are two for sale in used guitar center section .
I hope this helps !
Loved mine back when. But it's a bit noisy now. And the proprietry power supply isn't really a selling point. Now I got options on the zoom that do this and that.

No big red crossover knob tho.