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Double Bass Clean Fingerboard

#22
Thanks, Paul..luvu2babe...but seriously, looking back on my post, I realize I was somewhat incoherent, and would like to clarify: Schmutz is simply a less virulent form of Bass Smegma. Both are dangerous, but BS is by far the more insidious. BTW, anyone who thinks I'm a sick pup needs to meet Mike Pecanic...

Favorite bumper sticker seen recently: "Save the Earth--Kill Yourself"
 
#26
I do recall some years back that some hot little blonde in California had her ID plates pulled off of her sports car, because some people did know the actual meaning of the word SMEGMA.

Suffice it to say the definition cannot be explored here on a G rated board, but something tells me from a past thread ("Pick-up lines for DBers" ring a bell?) that Boogie-Woogie-BassNick may actually have some on his bass somewhere. Don't ask me how, I've never been that lucky. Let's hope it comes off. ;)
 
#27
Originally posted by John Sprague
I do recall some years back that some hot little blonde in California had her ID plates pulled off of her sports car, because some people did know the actual meaning of the word SMEGMA.

Suffice it to say the definition cannot be explored here on a G rated board, but something tells me from a past thread ("Pick-up lines for DBers" ring a bell?) that Boogie-Woogie-BassNick may actually have some on his bass somewhere. Don't ask me how, I've never been that lucky. Let's hope it comes off. ;)
Click to expand...

No offense, John. But are you sure you know the def? It is a real word and in the dictionary. It is not something that Promiscuous Nicuous might get on his bass.
 
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#28
I just checked my facts at www.dictionary.com (damn I luv the net), and the first definition was the one I was referring to. A later definition, however, made me cringe a bit. It was the first one I was referring to, lol! If I remember correctly, it was a gynocologist who complained to the state of CA about the girl's SMEGMA license plate.

This thread is getting trashy enough that it may even gain notice by the EB cats. ;) I truly hope no one is offended.
 
#37
Most "lemon oil" is actually petroleum distillate with a little lemon oil or fragrance added. I don't know about you, but I don't want petrol getting all over my hands from playing the bass. There...I've stayed on the subject this time. And you thought I was going to use the word "SMEGMA" again...
 
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#40
Nice thread! Here's another one to look up in dictionary.com: how about that nasty BASS CERUMEN that tends to accumulate when you are playing bass after picking your ears with your fingers and the stuff on there starts to chemically react with the schmutz, smegma or other substances already on the fingerboard.

Seriously though, I was advised to rub the ebony fingerboard of a previously owned EB with lemon oil to clean it. Works well! Also, the nice fresh lemon fragrance kind of takes away the nasty smell of the smegma. Don't know what smegma smells like? Just check your... you know where to look!

Finally, all those years in med school payed off.
 

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