I think it depends on the type of music as well. I'm doing straight ahead jazz in one group (usually fretless, but some tunes are better on the fretted), a mix of jazz/blues and sad bastard tunes (Waits, etc), and will be joining a funk/r&b/acid jazz thing. I don't really do the "modern" jazz tunes or tone, and for some reason a 59 burst alder/rw PJ just looks right to me in vintage dress. I'm not sure I'm digging the black hardware in that context. I like it on the "none more black" bass, but seems chrome is the old school vibe.
I know what you mean about taming highs rather than trying to add sizzle, but there also is a set of mid freqs that are different between alder/rw and ash/maple. On the guitar side I was an old strat alder/rw, then wanted a maple board for more snap. These days I've gone back towards preferring rw. Maybe I'm just getting old...
My Metro is 9.5 lbs. It is workable, but I'd rather have something lighter as long as the tone isn't lighter...