• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Crisis situation...need some feedback

#21
At the moment I feel total hopelesness. It's taking my breath. Had a good talk this morning but I couldn't cry. I just related all the stuff that hapened without any emotion surfacing. It makes me feel dull. It makes me want to end it all. I'd never consider suicide, I have kids and so much more. But it's all I feel like right now: just for this aching to end.
 
#22
Stay focused on the positive...... your kids and girlfriend. And the good health you enjoy. Maybe god can help. Sometimes I feel he is the only one to listen without judging. I hope this helps even a little bit.

Paul
 
#27
Hey guys, thanks for all your support. Yesterday I felt fear and it overtook me. I cried. Today I woke up and something fell off of me, a weight. Then after another session with my therapist I again felt the fear and started crying, and afterwards again felt 'lighter'. I cried again half an hour ago and it feel bad when it comes but feels better afterwards. I can cry again, and that's really something for me. I'm still shaky though, but I've made little steps forward, regaining my apetite also.
 
#31
Tuesday before I collapsed at work, I was already feeling very bad up to the point where I felt so taken by stress and bad emotions that I fell out with my girl. I started yelling at her. It just overtook me and I felt powerless, it all came out. I have NO problem with my girl whatsoever, but I just blew up, man.....

Today she came in here, in the clinic, and told me that what happened on tuesday, eventhough we made up afterward and that I let her know it had nothing to do with her and that I'm so damn sorry it happened, that me blowing up like that has made her doubt if she can continue with our relationship.

We never had real problems, always worked our way out of whatever problem we faced and grew strong. Now I face having to let her go....


Life's ****ed up right now.
 
#32
That's really tough.

For now, don't project what *could* happen. You're sick, not bad, and you're working on getting better. She knows this, but I can appreciate how hard this may be for her, not knowing what's going to happen next with you.

Whatever happens with her, you can't survive like you are now - you need to get better no matter what, and you need to do it FOR YOU. Yes, she's very important to you, and rightly so. But without you being better, you have nothing. Your health needs to be your only concern right now.

I know that sounds harsh, and it's easy for me to sit here and say it. But until your head is in a better space, nothing will work right. You're doing the right thing by getting help. Keep on, and know that the TB community is rooting for you.
 
#33
blastoff99 said:
That's really tough.

For now, don't project what *could* happen. You're sick, not bad, and you're working on getting better. She knows this, but I can appreciate how hard this may be for her, not knowing what's going to happen next with you.

Whatever happens with her, you can't survive like you are now - you need to get better no matter what, and you need to do it FOR YOU. Yes, she's very important to you, and rightly so. But without you being better, you have nothing. Your health needs to be your only concern right now.

I know that sounds harsh, and it's easy for me to sit here and say it. But until your head is in a better space, nothing will work right. You're doing the right thing by getting help. Keep on, and know that the TB community is rooting for you.
Click to expand...

Dude, I'm not sick. These past few days have learned me a lot. To let go of fear and to meditate again. I've been able to cry a great deal and that has helped me tremendously. Being able to cry and let out the bad stuff that has been hanging around for almost 26 years has cleared the sky. I'm still in need of therapy, and will continue to do so, but I'm not 'sick', sickened by it all seems a better way of putting it. I have the bad habit of stuffing everything away, and I'm very very good at this. I have done this with all the crap that has been handed to me and last week it ALL just boiled up and overtook me. Just imagine seeing your big brother dying while you're eight, and noone, not even your parents, talk about it, because they too stuffed it all away.
 
#34
In 2011 I did 3 months of therapy after a bad car accident. I took the opportunity to let out everything that had happened at home when I was young, and to cope with the accident. Thing is I never cried. All my emotions and fears were kept inside. After the therapy I was to take 'after therapy' but having 2 nights a week rehearsing with my band it seemed to much to take on. The biggest mistake I made then was to cancel therapy and go on working and playing in my band. The emotions that were getting loosened because of 3 months of therapy were fading again and I had a very busy day job. The stress built up over a year and a half. From time to time I would drink to releave the stress, but we all know that never works. I never considered therapy again. Thought I could just go on the way I was going and kept on pushing myself. Some months ago I felt things were getting too much. But me being me I kept on going, I never listened to myself. There have been clear warnings from my body and my thinking that I was way over limit. And yet not a single tear would come out. Until last week that is.... I hit the wall big time, and the damage is done.
 
#35
Very sorry if I caused pain; I meant no offense with my use of the word "sick."

You have had an incredible amount of trauma in your life, and it has affected you deeply. Most people wouldn't have lived through it. In my book, you're to be commended for putting one foot in front of the other all these years, and for getting help and working hard.

I'll change "sick" to "not well." It's the same as if you fell into a hole in the dark and broke your ankle. It isn't your fault, you had really nothing to do with it except for wrong place / wrong time. In either case, there's something wrong and you're not well, and you're not yet who you can and eventually will be.

I wish you the best, today and every day.
 
#36
blastoff99 said:
Very sorry if I caused pain; I meant no offense with my use of the word "sick."

You have had an incredible amount of trauma in your life, and it has affected you deeply. Most people wouldn't have lived through it. In my book, you're to be commended for putting one foot in front of the other all these years, and for getting help and working hard.

I'll change "sick" to "not well." It's the same as if you fell into a hole in the dark and broke your ankle. It isn't your fault, you had really nothing to do with it except for wrong place / wrong time. In either case, there's something wrong and you're not well, and you're not yet who you can and eventually will be.


I wish you the best, today and every day.
Click to expand...


You know, breaking down like I did can be pretty intense. Bad and unresolved emotions find their way out, and that hurts. It comes in waves and I just had to ride them. In my mind I was already done with the past, but my heart wasn't. Tomorrow I'm leaving here and it will be shaky. But it's up to me now to face the task of respecting my own limits, continuing therapeutic sessions and meditate a lot. I'm afraid for tomorrow, and yet I'm not.
 
#40
Find a support group if possible to go and talk out your stresses. Nobody else can help you as much as those that are or have experienced something similar. You'll likely end up with a friend that will talk to you any time if day you feel the need.

Carry on buddy. This is where you come in and grab control of what is eating at you. We all get eaten away by our thoughts. We all have to forge ahead. This is where we enjoy the little things, the everyday things that contain beauty and wonder. These are the things that, if you stop and note them, accumulate and push away the negativity of this nasty world. Smell the roses, all day long. See the miraculous and genius of the world around you. Take it in and take pleasure in seeing it.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back