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dealing with distractions

wcnewby

wcnewby

Guest
Feb 23, 2012
275
28
St. Germain Wisconsin
#1
We had a super fun gig last night but I kept dropping notes because of this naughty dancer. She had this top with bad buttons, and a leopard print bra.

I noticed that the memory of my notes seemed to get sucked into her cleavage, so I would tell myself "don't look at the boobs, don't look at the boobs" and that was almost as effective as looking at the boobs in the first place.

I know this must be a skill because I have seen the front man getting hugged for a picture, during a song, by an old lady who totally molested his ass and he never missed a beat.

I need some exercises to sharpen my focus... what do you guys have?
 
#3
wcnewby said:
We had a super fun gig last night but I kept dropping notes because of this naughty dancer. She had this top with bad buttons, and a leopard print bra.

I noticed that the memory of my notes seemed to get sucked into her cleavage, so I would tell myself "don't look at the boobs, don't look at the boobs" and that was almost as effective as looking at the boobs in the first place.

I know this must be a skill because I have seen the front man getting hugged for a picture, during a song, by an old lady who totally molested his ass and he never missed a beat.

I need some exercises to sharpen my focus... what do you guys have?
Click to expand...

Played at a bar with no stage so the crowd was on the same floor we were on. Later in the night when enough social lube had been applied, the place was packed to the rafters and most were dancing, or tying their best to imitate dancing. One young lady who was dancing with another young lady would back up to me then stick her butt out and try to rub it on my right hand. I'm not sure if her intent was for me to grab a handful or what, but I had to keep backing up because her butt was also damping my bass when she did this. Needless to say, it as VERY distracting.

Anywho, the way to avoid problems with distractions such as yours is called immersion therapy. Expose yourself to as much (female) exposure as possible while playing and before you know it you will be cured of forgetting your place in the song.
 
#4
fhm555 said:
Played at a bar with no stage so the crowd was on the same floor we were on. Later in the night when enough social lube had been applied, the place was packed to the rafters and most were dancing, or tying their best to imitate dancing. One young lady who was dancing with another young lady would back up to me then stick her butt out and try to rub it on my right hand. I'm not sure if her intent was for me to grab a handful or what, but I had to keep backing up because her butt was also damping my bass when she did this. Needless to say, it as VERY distracting.

Anywho, the way to avoid problems with distractions such as yours is called immersion therapy. Expose yourself to as much (female) exposure as possible while playing and before you know it you will be cured of forgetting your place in the song.
Click to expand...

I have a 20 foot red rope light for situations like this. Run it across the front of the band area, drunks are reluctant to cross it.
 
#6
Female Immersion Therapy... nice gotta stay FIT. Did I mention that I was a bass player? We are not known for our babe magnet powers so much. It's safe for us to look at the cleavage because they are focused on the front man. As far as pictures, dude, I'm already dropping my Shiite, plus it would look funny while I was taking it... UNLESS, I had a hidden goofy hat cam.
 
#7
To the OP, you were staring at an attractive young woman, and your front man was molested by an old lady...how do your two situations compare??? :)

Unrelated, I have the same problem, and the only way I've found to deal with it effectively, is to tell yourself over and over again "she has the clap, she has the clap, she has the clap".
 
#13
I solve the babe problem by bringing my wife to every gig and seating her right in front of the band area.

That, however, didn't stop a couple of VERY aggressive ladies from doing a bump-and-grind right in front of me during my last gig... one of whom was a former middle-school classmate who had recently confessed to having had a rather lengthy crush on me. Stared past her at the Mrs. the whole time.
 
#15
Treadstone71 said:
To the OP, you were staring at an attractive young woman, and your front man was molested by an old lady...how do your two situations compare??? :)

Unrelated, I have the same problem, and the only way I've found to deal with it effectively, is to tell yourself over and over again "she has the clap, she has the clap, she has the clap".
Click to expand...

I know, I know, in this area I am a humble and inadequate. He has Ninja powers of focus, and the scorchingest stink eye you have ever seen. The clap thing won't work. I've lied to myself so many times that I don't believe me anymore. ;)
 
#16
The leopard thing is completely unfair... I mean it must be a genetic thing for us to be on the watch for leopards... from back in the cave man days. Then you go and put leopard spots on a boob... I guess practice will have to be the answer because I doubt I'll ever tell them to knock it off. Maybe by practicing while watching porn videos... hmmm...
 
#17
I am old, married, and harmless. But, I'm not dead, blind, or gay just yet. So, I notice and women distract me. Oh, well. If I was gay, then I guess guys would distract me. Our drummer (who is a straight woman), mentioned that there was a very good looking guy over on one side of the room when we were packing up after a show. I never saw him because there was a good looking woman somewhere else. My wife was there, but it didn't help. So it goes. Being the bass player means they aren't interested in me anyway. It is a high-fidelity instrument.
 
#19
You could use a hood like student pilots use to practice flying on instruments. It's a biig visor that keeps the student from seeing out the windows of the cockpit. Looks funny, but you're the bassplayer, so who's gonna notice?

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#20
When in doubt, stare at the woman and pedal on the root.

Seriously though. Once you have done this for a while, you start to realize that there's nothing new about some new chick flashing her stuff in front of the band. It never gets "old" per say. But it gets less distracting once you've seen it a gagillion times.

Oddly enough, one of the things that totally drew me to my wife was that she was in the back of the room hanging out with here friends and could have cared less that there was a band. Then, once I went up to her to start a conversation, the fact that I was a musician was actually a turn OFF. 7 years, a wedding, and two kids later we're doing great. So check out the eye candy. But keep your eyes peeled for the REAL women in the room as well. (Most "real" women wouldn't be up front showing their boobs to total strangers.)

Also, really know your bass lines up and down. ANY distraction should be temporary. You should be able to get back on track quickly if a school bus drives through the back wall of the club. If the club owner/promoter tells you to keep playing you should be able to count broken arms and play at the same time. You should be able to get the phone number of the leopard spotted boobs girl, order her a drink, chew gum, and sing backup vocals and never miss a note.
 

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