Dealing with unsolicited advice

[markoc]

Seems like there is that guy at most of my gigs lately that is full of sage wisdom on why we're not rockstars. Had one at my gig sunday that was a real piece of work.
Told me I need to wear susunglasses on stage. , whatever.
Then tells me it looks like I'm in love with the guitar player. Guitarist is a 16yo (phenomenal player) sub so we had alot of eye contact to lead him thru our songs and for me to follow the songs he took lead on. Ok, let it slide.
Next he tells me we will never be famous because our singer is fat.
Not ok anymore. Very politely told him he was an idiot and walked away before I had to punch him in the face.
How do you guys deal with idiots?

 

[Killed_by_Death]

Just about anything besides telling them they're an idiot, because now the big-mouth is going to tell everyone you insulted him.
Maybe explaining why what he was saying was offensive would have been a better tactic.

 

[bikeplate]

I tell guys like that I play for for fun due to the fact im wealthy from winning the California state lottery in the 90's. Usually shuts them up and I walk away

 

[BassCliff]

Hi,

"Thank you very much. I appreciate your input. I'll take that under consideration. Where can I find out about other artists that you've managed?"


Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff

 

[markoc]

Just about anything besides telling them they're an idiot, because now the big-mouth is going to tell everyone you insulted him.
Maybe explaining why what he was saying was offensive would have been a better tactic.

Personally I could care less if this guy ever comes to a gig again and the last thing I want to do on my 15 min break is try to explain why body shaming is wrong to someone.

 

[BassCliff]

Hi,

Personally I could care less if this guy ever comes to a gig again and the last thing I want to do on my 15 min break is try to explain why body shaming is wrong to someone.

What's the old saying? "I may be fat but I can lose weight. You'll ALWAYS be ugly."

(Please! I would never say that out loud. Honest. I think.)

Thank you for your indulgence,

BassCliff

 

[RustyAxe]

Meh ... if he paid at the door like everyone else, who cares. And you might ask him why he isn't playing HIS gig today.

 

[Joe Nerve]

I smile and yes those guys to death. If I got the fat line that you did I'd probably just say, "OK, thanks for that," and walk away. I think they'd get it, and if they didn't I'd have no problem avoiding them if they ever tried to engage me again. My "off" switch works really well with people like that.

 

[micguy]

"You have such insightful advice. How many bands do you manage from your parents' basement?"

 

[WillOtter]

I just smile and say, "Thanks for your concern.".

 

[AztecViking]

I would kindly say "excuse me but there are some friends I really need to speak to" and would then break away to talk to ANYONE else. Friends or not. You'd probably meet some new, very cool people that way.

 

[Nephilymbass]

I try to be nice but I admit I've been a total jerk to some people like that over the years. The biggest line I hate is "you guys need a second guitar player that plays more guitar solos" i usually say something along the lines of "you mean like avenged sevenfold?" And when they say "yeah" I look them in the face and say "I hate that band"

 

[mcarp555]

Look them in the eye and say, "I'm sorry; what did I say that sounded like 'give me your useless opinion'?"

 

[Hand slap]

Seems like there is that guy at most of my gigs lately that is full of sage wisdom on why we're not rockstars. Had one at my gig sunday that was a real piece of work.
Told me I need to wear susunglasses on stage. , whatever.
Then tells me it looks like I'm in love with the guitar player. Guitarist is a 16yo (phenomenal player) sub so we had alot of eye contact to lead him thru our songs and for me to follow the songs he took lead on. Ok, let it slide.
Next he tells me we will never be famous because our singer is fat.
Not ok anymore. Very politely told him he was an idiot and walked away before I had to punch him in the face.
How do you guys deal with idiots?

Ignore spectators like that.

 

[AcadianBassman]

Usually I just say thanks and give them a smile. The old nod 'n' grin works well also. If they are really jerky, simply say "Excuse me, I'll be back" and go for some air, talk to someone else, or go get a coke/beer/etc. However, if they are really abrasive and overbearing, find an excuse like having to tune or fix something. It's easy to be rude back, and there are oh so many ways to do it, but in reality you're better off just take the high road. One not so impolite way that usually ends it (has worked for me in the past) is saying something like "You sound like you've been there, did you play or manage at one time?" and try to be sincere and look interested when asking. I've found that this usually get a "Um, uh, well... I... er..." type answer and the subject changes followed by the "adviser" finding somewhere to go and bother someone else fairly quick.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

"You know, you're right! We suck. I don't understand why people keep coming to see us." Shrug shoulders, walk away.

 

[Chicory Blue]

I mean, let's not rule out the sunglasses though.

--^@

 

[MVE]

I just smile and say thanks.

But the fat comment would definitely check the box marked "@&$h0#€" for my opinion of that guy in my head.

 

[4dog]

This works too..."opinions vary" .

 

[navijaz]

You know what they say about opinions. Be like Teflon. Smile, ignore and forget. Sometimes it's hard, I know.