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Did I overreact?

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FWIW, I do not politicize COVID one way or another. I go on our first-hand experiences with it which anyone with similar experiences would totally understand.

Long story short:

I have a family member living at home who is just starting to recover from a ~ 6 month post-viral episode that left them bed-ridden for ~3 months.
Band (weekend warriors) wants to resume rehearsing and try new singer. I suggest outdoors for 1 rehearsal with new singer who has been waiting as we took a break from rehearsing around Thanksgiving.
One member offers large backyard area. Weather scheduled to be beautiful
One member slowly builds BS excuses, voicing them to one member only as to why that is 'not optimal'. Basically, he doesn't want to move his gear but won't say it, but instead insists we only rehearse indoors at the rehearsal studio he wants.
One member posts pics of himself out with friends and other activities where no one is masked up.
I refuse to risk my family's health on an indoor rehearsal and leave the band so they do not have to wait on me. No rage quitting, just 'not gonna do indoors yet. If everyone else is OK with it, then best of luck to you.'

As a result, the band is now in a 3rd rebuild in a year if they even continue on, delaying everyone from getting to play.

All because one member would not suck it up for one, sub-optimal session to keep the band going. Or is it all because I emphasize patience and prioritize safety over rehearsing for gigs that will not exist for some time. I put a year of my life and countless hours of practice into this band.

Overreaction or right move?
You did the right thing. With any luck the anti vax issue should be self-correcting (and Walmart will have more available parking).
 
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Yet another "you did the right thing" post. You have to weigh the risks as they apply to you personally and your family and friends. Risk management is not simple and I don't blame people for taking either of the "zero risk" or "when it's time it's time" approaches, as long as they don't force it on me! And for some people, because of family or job, very-low risk is the only acceptable option because the consequences are very high. Those with higher risk tolerance *must* be creative and flexible to accommodate those people, or stop associating with them altogether.

I play regularly at a "not 100% safe" risk level, because of patrons and the occasional mask denialist. I accept this risk as a cost of retaining my sanity. Forgetting personal safety, this means I still might be a carrier at any given time, so I use extra careful distancing practices with neighbors and strangers.

I think the important thing is: it's not fun if it's not consensual.
 
You did right. Btw today I spent time writing code to filter the now-dead people out of the list of clinically vulnerable people we deal with, so I applaud extra caution even if it seems excessive. Apologies if that's politicising and delete if it is. At least it's another NBD :)
 
You know, when we came out of total lock down in the fall/early winter in Toronto, one band I was in did a few outdoor rehearsals in a large backyard. It was actually a revelation to a few members of the band who were used to tight, loud, cramped rehearsal spaces. We could hear each other perfectly and didn't feel the need to turn up nearly as loud. I didn't even have to wear my earplugs.

There's definitely a benefit to rehearsing outside if you can.

Then we locked down again...
 
I don't blame the guy who didn't want to move stuff and rehearse outside. It's not like you're going to be gigging in the next few weeks, it just seems like kind of a waste of time right now. I wouldn't have wanted to haul a bunch of stuff to someone's backyard for a one off rehearsal either. Most people should be vaccinated within a couple months so I would have just proposed holding off a bit longer.
 
I think you did right.

I pretty much did the same thing a while back. Band wanted to get together in the rehearsal space to get going with a new singer. The numbers were off the charts in my area at the time, there were no gigs on the horizon, and if there were gigs - I didn't think I would want to do them. Told the guys that I wasn't ready, and they were free to move on without me. They did.

It sucks, but I'm not totally broken up about it. I've had two offers for auditions since then, and I've turned both down.

I had it back in June, and I was sick for a little over two weeks - not bad, but not great. I feel pretty lucky. I know a girl at work, who is younger and probably healthier than me and she missed like 3-4 months of work because of it. My wife saw a neighbor last night who just got over it and was told that she will have breathing problems for the rest of her life.

I know we take risks every day, germs and viruses are everywhere, and you could walk out your door and get hit by a bus... but 500,000 dead and millions more with long term problems. It could be like catching a cold from one of the guys during a jam session, or it could be devastating. You just don't know and you gotta calculate that risk.
 
To add to my reply before: I had joined a band back in early 2020 that got shut down pretty quickly due to Covid, but we all remained connected and I assumed just on pause. Then last week I saw a Facebook post of the band saying “we’re rehearsing and can’t wait to get back out there!!” —with another bass player in the pic. I guess I got fired/replaced. But I don’t care, I hadn’t spent enough time to bond too much with them and I wouldn’t have started rehearsing anyway because I’m not introducing that into my risk profile. I’ll form something else when the time is right. So will you.
 
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FWIW, I do not politicize COVID one way or another. I go on our first-hand experiences with it which anyone with similar experiences would totally understand.

Long story short:

I have a family member living at home who is just starting to recover from a ~ 6 month post-viral episode that left them bed-ridden for ~3 months.
Band (weekend warriors) wants to resume rehearsing and try new singer. I suggest outdoors for 1 rehearsal with new singer who has been waiting as we took a break from rehearsing around Thanksgiving.
One member offers large backyard area. Weather scheduled to be beautiful
One member slowly builds BS excuses, voicing them to one member only as to why that is 'not optimal'. Basically, he doesn't want to move his gear but won't say it, but instead insists we only rehearse indoors at the rehearsal studio he wants.
One member posts pics of himself out with friends and other activities where no one is masked up.
I refuse to risk my family's health on an indoor rehearsal and leave the band so they do not have to wait on me. No rage quitting, just 'not gonna do indoors yet. If everyone else is OK with it, then best of luck to you.'

As a result, the band is now in a 3rd rebuild in a year if they even continue on, delaying everyone from getting to play.

All because one member would not suck it up for one, sub-optimal session to keep the band going. Or is it all because I emphasize patience and prioritize safety over rehearsing for gigs that will not exist for some time. I put a year of my life and countless hours of practice into this band.

Overreaction or right move?
Right move.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mr_Moo and dkelley
FWIW, I do not politicize COVID one way or another. I go on our first-hand experiences with it which anyone with similar experiences would totally understand.

Long story short:

I have a family member living at home who is just starting to recover from a ~ 6 month post-viral episode that left them bed-ridden for ~3 months.
Band (weekend warriors) wants to resume rehearsing and try new singer. I suggest outdoors for 1 rehearsal with new singer who has been waiting as we took a break from rehearsing around Thanksgiving.
One member offers large backyard area. Weather scheduled to be beautiful
One member slowly builds BS excuses, voicing them to one member only as to why that is 'not optimal'. Basically, he doesn't want to move his gear but won't say it, but instead insists we only rehearse indoors at the rehearsal studio he wants.
One member posts pics of himself out with friends and other activities where no one is masked up.
I refuse to risk my family's health on an indoor rehearsal and leave the band so they do not have to wait on me. No rage quitting, just 'not gonna do indoors yet. If everyone else is OK with it, then best of luck to you.'

As a result, the band is now in a 3rd rebuild in a year if they even continue on, delaying everyone from getting to play.

All because one member would not suck it up for one, sub-optimal session to keep the band going. Or is it all because I emphasize patience and prioritize safety over rehearsing for gigs that will not exist for some time. I put a year of my life and countless hours of practice into this band.

Overreaction or right move?
Right move!
 
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Reactions: Mr_Moo and dkelley
You made the right call, I would have done the same in your situation.
I have 2 extended family members at high risk which means they haven't been able to see their grand kids for over 6 months. It sucks, but the risk is too great. Nothing is more important than the health of your loved ones.
 
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Overreaction or right move?
So imagine that instead, you rehearsed indoors, was exposed to covid, and that resulted in asymptomatic spread to your recovering family member who dies as a result.

Then ask yourself that question.

I'm as anxious as the next person to get back out and play. I see bands in my area looking for a bass player, and while I think I would be an excellent fit, I'm not even pursuing it until both my wife and I are fully vaccinated. There is absolutely no way I'm going to risk her health, let alone my own, for the sake of practicing with a band. I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Life is short enough as it is. No need to hasten it.
 
@G On Bass , right move. my cover band just had our first rehearsal since the shutdown March 2020! It was outside on a extra large driveway. we did minimal set-up, I used a cheap d class combo amp, we didn't mike the horns, etc... and it was SUPER fun. yeah, we were very sloppy on the songs, but we had a great time.

I'm more surprised that the other guys would rather see you leave the band than accommodate your situation for one rehearsal?!!? IMO, you're probably dodging a bullet.
 
You did the right thing. Your situation sounds like the band I ended up leaving back in the spring. Everyone else wanted to go on practicing indoors with unmasked singers. I politely told them to find another bass player, which they did and kept going. The BL and his wife ended up with Covid. Not sure if any other band members got it, but I'm glad I made the decision I did.
 
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