Do women mind being called girls?

[58kites]

The beach city natives are a complete subculture compared to the rest of California.
I grew up in the surf culture.

I've been a kiteboarder/kitesurfer for the last 10 years, I know surfers from all over the world.
I've got waterman friends that live on Oahu and Maui, I've got surfer friends that live in Hatteras, several locations in Florida, Bali, Scotland, South Africa, Puerto Rico,the DR, and Oregon.
I am pretty familiar with surf culture.
Not sure any of that has to do with the original subject and men referring to women as girls.

 

[Jeff Scott]

I dig the bridge!

2TEK. Think Egyptian.

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

Admittedly, I didn't watch the video. I just listened to it now. She has a great point. Why are women constantly referred to as girls? Men are rarely referred to as boys. Yes, we can all find examples of it happening but, on the whole, women are reduced to girls regularly while men are rarely reduced to boys. This is a very real societal issue. I thought her point about "the girl at the bank" or "the girl at the bar" was fantastic. I would imagine everybody in this thread has said something similar and not even noted it as incorrect. The fact is that it is incorrect and women should be referred to as women. Contrary to what some folks think, basic respect isn't too much to ask.

I actually have heard men being called boys quite often- by gay friends. To me it seems to be much less an issue of misogyny than an issue of male libido. Typically terms referring to youthfulness are more attractive than the opposite for men, which is why you're much more likely to call your 50 year old girlfriend or boyfriend sweetie or baby than you are the more age appropriate crone or geezer

And what should matter most is intent. If no offense or disrespect is meant by using the term "girl" then it's hard to say someone is knowingly being disrespectful. If you're not already aware, there is a good-sized group of people that hate the term "woman" and see it as a way of deeming females a lesser version of a male. Do you feel like you weren't giving them basic respect by calling them women? Because a lot of them would think you were not. The label should come way after the intent.

 

[Stewie26]

Agreed. I've been a kiteboarder/kitesurfer for the last 10 years, I know surfers from all over the world.
I've got waterman friends that live on Oahu and Maui, I've got surfer friends that live in Hatteras, several locations in Florida, Bali, Scotland, South Africa, Puerto Rico,the DR, and Oregon.
I am pretty familiar with surf culture.
Not sure any of that has to do with the original subject and men referring to women as girls.

I believe it means that the use of certain words and terms maybe different depending were you are from and the environment you are in. If I casually refer to a female as a girl in a casual setting, I do so without malice or disrespect intended to that person. On the other hand, if I am in the office in a professional environment, I would always refer to an adult female as a women.

 

[DiabolusInMusic]

Wow, how Silly and petty has our culture became. Everyone is so sensitive these days, and I find it utterly stupid.

To have a female become offended when called a girl is utterly comical in my book. If it was done in a respectful manner, I cannot reason why this would bother someone. I have been on many "boys night out" or "hanging with the boys" on more than one occasion over the age of 18, and it's never bothered me once. Never. Take that and put it in your sensitive pipe and smoke it. (gee, I hope I didn't offend any sensitive people by saying that) A proper man or woman was taught and raised seeing and giving respect to others. That might be old school these days, so blame my mother for that.

If I call someone Sir or Ma'am, it's done out of being raised to properly respect another person. I additionally spent many years in the military, and that was how an officer was addressed. I sure didn't seem to find as many sensitive people in the military either. Respect was earned, and was given as well. As a senior NCO, I had to get in someone's rump on occasion, and if you were too sensitive to deal with it, then it was time for you to get out of the service. My job was to train you or keep you at a certain standard where during a war your sensitive rump might be saved due to my training I gave you.

In formal situations, a person will be addressed by either a sir or ma'am, based on my perceived gender. (If you are a female and look like a guy and I accidentally address you as such, suck it up buttercup and deal with it due to your diverse look, I meant no disrespect)

The women I know are addressed as gals or girls, and the men as guys or boys. I have yet to hear any one of my friends being so freaking overly sensitive that this would have bothered them. Of course if something so silly bothered them, they wouldn't be in my circle anyway.

Our culture is based on the women (men too) seemingly all craving to be 20 something, and every type of marketing out there is geared to this. People love to be guessed as younger as they are, so why a female would be offended by being called a girl is not only silly, but sort of a double standard. If they do complain, just reply " sorry, I thought a xx year old woman might appreciate being called a girl wouldn't bother you". Be sure to add an additional 10-15 years on their age, and see what kind of look you get. No doubt you will be corrected with their actual age, or maybe a little less. This of course reinforces my belief that both genders wish to look, feel, and act younger than they actually are. Of course there comes a time where they stop giving a rip, and I'd guess being called a girl or a boy wouldn't be that big of a deal to them either.

So in conclusion, I feel that if the proper respect is given when addressing the other person, I see absolutely no problem with it. If a person would take the time to tell me it bothered them, I would respect their wishes as well and not address them as such. While I would feel this is completely silly, I was taught respect of others.

If a person is so sensitive to this or other common titles, I'd say it's time to toughen up a bit.

I'm sure the politically correct police will stop by and let me know of all my shortcomings, but meh, I really don't care. It's my opinion. Deal with it.

Edited to say I didn't watch the video either, because I could tell it was full of politically correct feel good nonsense.

Many women have come forward and said that it is disrespectful to degrade women to girls. This video that you didn't watch literally takes the time to tell you that this practice bothers women (this issue isn't limited to Blossom). Do you only respect their wishes if they address you personally? Are you really that offended by respecting a person's age and status that you refuse to call women as such? I don't think it is that much to ask but, as I said earlier, to each their own.

I actually have heard men being called boys quite often- by gay friends. To me it seems to be much less an issue of misogyny than an issue of male libido. Typically terms referring to youthfulness are more attractive than the opposite for men, which is why you're much more likely to call your 50 year old girlfriend or boyfriend sweetie or baby than you are the more age appropriate crone or geezer

And what should matter most is inent. If no offense or disrespect is meant by using the term "girl" then it's hard to say someone is knowingly being disrespectful. If you're not already aware, there is a good-sized group of people that hate the term "woman" and see it as a way of deeming females a lesser version of a male. Do you feel like you weren't giving them basic respect by calling them women? Because a lot of them would think you were not. The label should come way after the intent.

Words always carry intent. People do not really take that into account when speaking or, in the case of TB, typing. Saying "the girl at the counter" demeans a female's status as a woman whether you intended to or not. It is a part of colloquial language that has formed in response to the masculine hegemony within our society. We have consistently viewed women as the lesser sex and calling them "girls" is just another reflection of that.

 

[guy n. cognito]

Admittedly, I didn't watch the video. I just listened to it now. She has a great point. Why are women constantly referred to as girls? Men are rarely referred to as boys. Yes, we can all find examples of it happening but, on the whole, women are reduced to girls regularly while men are rarely reduced to boys. This is a very real societal issue. I thought her point about "the girl at the bank" or "the girl at the bar" was fantastic. I would imagine everybody in this thread has said something similar and not even noted it as incorrect. The fact is that it is incorrect and women should be referred to as women. Contrary to what some folks think, basic respect isn't too much to ask.

So much more goes into respect than simple word choice. Just like I can speak to you in the most disrespectful manner, all while using whatever pronoun the though police deem appropriate at the time. It's pitiful that we have become so close minded that we no longer judge others by what they say, but rather a single word chosen to say it.....

 

[Bryan R. Tyler]

Words always carry intent. People do not really take that into account when speaking or, in the case of TB, typing. Saying "the girl at the counter" demeans a female's status as a woman whether you intended to or not. It is a part of colloquial language that has formed in response to the masculine hegemony within our society. We have consistently viewed women as the lesser sex and calling them "girls" is just another reflection of that.

Except that you are deciding what that intent is for other people. That's not how intent works. Otherwise you are automatically demeaning them when you are calling them women by those who find that term offensive. If someone asks what religion Mel Brooks is, you could say "he's a Jew" or you could say "he's a Jew." Totally different intent, same word. You don't get to decide the intent for everyone. If you don't agree with that then you have a lot of apologizing to do for insisting they be called women to those that find that term demeaning.

 

[socialleper]

Not really. The beach city natives are a complete subculture compared to the rest of California. I grew up in the surf culture.

As a resident Californian I concur. There is a very false idea that everyone in California are from Venice Beach. Our state covers 3/5th of the Western coast of the US, has everything from beach to snow covered mountains, to deserts, to farmland. We have three great metropolitan areas, some of the most expensive neighbors in the US, and some of the biggest dumps in the US. There is no one type of "Californian." Hell, there isn't even one type of person from Los Angeles.

 

[Stewie26]

So much more goes into respect than simple word choice. Just like I can speak to you in the most disrespectful manner, all while using whatever pronoun the though police deem appropriate at the time. It's pitiful that we have become so close minded that we no longer judge others by what they say, but rather a single word chosen to say it.....

Agreed. Suddenly I am starting to understand what they mean by the word , Snoflake.

 

[Mvilmany]

What kind of pickups are in that Hamer?
I dig the bridge!


Wait, there's a woman in the photo?

I believe those were stock Hamer Pickups.

Those 2-Tek bridges were pretty interesting.

 

[socialleper]

One of the most interesting results of this poll is that only one woman responded. TB is a bit of a sausage party.

I picked "it doesn't matter," because that's the closest thing to my real answer, and I wanted to see the results.
Using the term "girl", like so many other things, depends on context. "Are you going out with the girls" may be OK to say to your wife or female friend. Saying it to someone you don't know may rub them the wrong way. Also, how you said it, and your relationship to the person you are talking to matters. If they think you are a creepy perv, it won't sound good.
A wife could say to her husband "Are you going out with the boys." A guy can say "He's my boy" to a friend. However a white male calling a black male "boy" has a very specific meaning, and should be avoided at all costs.
I try to avoid "girl" in unfamiliar settings. If I know the person, it is usually fine.

 

[socialleper]

I was so offended...I wrote to Bass Player mag complaining.....It eleminated all women bass players and seemed so sexist

Perhaps I was being too rigid when I was young, but I was shocked that in 1996? That kind of marketing was being used in our enlightened age of equality...HA!!!!!

1.) You don't really know she is nude. The bass pretty much has everything covered.
2.) I think ESP or another "pointy guitar" brand had far more salacious ads in the last few years.
3.) Have you seen how people market perfume? The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition barely has swimsuits any more. There is more skin a a pop or hiphop video than in that ad.
4.) The ad did its job didn't it ? It got your attention, good or bad, and you remembered it. #MarketingGoals.

 

[tfer]

I was raised believing that "sir" and "ma'am" were used as a sign of respect. Basic manners.

I'm not gonna change that.

But, I could live my entire life without ever hearing a guy refer to his wife as "his old-lady" again.

 

[Stewie26]

I was raised believing that "sir" and "ma'am" were used as a sign of respect. Basic manners.

I'm not gonna change that.

But, I could live my entire life without ever hearing a guy refer to his wife as "his old-lady" again.

Yep, I never liked that either. Back in high school, some of my buddies referred to their mother as, My Old Lady. Later in life they were calling their wife the same. Just never set well with me.

 

[JRA]

my wife refers to her friends as 'girls'. i refer to my friends as 'guys' and 'boys', pals, buds, etc.. i refer to women as girls, gals, chicks, women, ladies, beauties, babes, dolls, darlin's, honeys, hotties, yada yada: depending on familiarity and circumstances. in my 'group' = no one is offended, and it may be the case that the women are slightly flattered by the 'pet' names, again, depending on circumstances.

when being more formal, or 'grown up', i refer to females as women or girls, depending on my perception of age.

my wife doesn't care how my references are made. some women can be sensitive to the issue. we both play it conservatively when in doubt. (we both use the term 'chicks' a lot!)

 

[JGbassman]

Many women have come forward and said that it is disrespectful to degrade women to girls. This video that you didn't watch literally takes the time to tell you that this practice bothers women (this issue isn't limited to Blossom). Do you only respect their wishes if they address you personally? Are you really that offended by respecting a person's age and status that you refuse to call women as such? I don't think it is that much to ask but, as I said earlier, to each their own.



Words always carry intent. People do not really take that into account when speaking or, in the case of TB, typing. Saying "the girl at the counter" demeans a female's status as a woman whether you intended to or not. It is a part of colloquial language that has formed in response to the masculine hegemony within our society. We have consistently viewed women as the lesser sex and calling them "girls" is just another reflection of that.

Well I find it disrespectful to call girls women.

OMG, which side of the political correctness fence does this fall on? Someone's sensitive feelings are bound to be hurt now. Why are my feelings any less than the female I respectfully addressed?

How ever shall we fix this?

 

[two fingers]

The video (like many rants and protests these days) is the offended looking for an offender.

I work in 67 different buildings dominated by women. I use "lady", "girl", "woman", "ma'am", etc. interchangeably. Nobody seems to get offended. They call me "man", "boy" and "sir" interchangeably and I'm not offended.

Theoretical conversation walking into an office and being ushered back by office staff....

Receptionist - "Boy, what brings you to town?"

Me - "Hey lady! I gotta deflibonate the decubinator." (Made up terms)

Office manager - "What took you so long, man?"

Me - "Girl, don't even get me started on the tractors on the highway. I got stuck behind them three times on the way here."

Office manager - "Boy you messed up when you took 53. You shoulda cut over 118 and then shot up 11."

Yada Yada yada....

The thing is, they know that when the small talk is done, I respect them for what they do and who they are. They respect me likewise. That has a lot less to do with words and more to do with actions and how you carry yourself. I'm not winking or flirting. When business time gets here I'm all business. I take their input and offer mine. But titles fly back and forth like pollen in the air right now. And who cares?

 

[sears]

Women have been objecting to being called "girl" or "girls" for 50 years. Wake up. Why use a word that might be an insult?

And then they're snowflakes for wanting to be called women and not girls. Their feelings can't be wrong. That's why they're called feelings.

Yeah, you can still use "woman" in the wrong tone and make it an insult. I'm sure you'll work at it now.

 

[Gorn]

Whatever dem broads want to keep their yaps shut and in the kitchen.

(Insert emoji indicating sarcasm here)

 

[Downunderwonder]

To me, the male equivalent of "girl" is "guy".....which you hear all the time.

Yet the female equivalent of ''guy'' is ''doll'', how ever does the species survive?