Do you consider your bandmates as friends?

[BassAndReeds]

I have a bandmate's birthday party upcoming and I'm dreading it. We're not the same generation. We're not in the same stage in life. We have a completely different musical background. Point blank, we basically have nothing in common.

I've been in the band less than a year. The band has been together a lot longer, but gone through a major change when replacing their last bass player with yours truly. I'm obligated to go to this birthday party, but I really don't want to.

Would you feel the same way? Or are you good friends with your bandmates?

 

[Basshappi]

My bandmates are my best friends.

 

[Stumbo]

I have a bandmate's birthday party upcoming and I'm dreading it. We're not the same generation. We're not in the same stage in life. We have a completely different musical background. Point blank, we basically have nothing in common.

I've been in the band less than a year. The band has been together a lot longer, but gone through a major change when replacing their last bass player with yours truly. I'm obligated to go to this birthday party, but I really don't want to.

Would you feel the same way? Or are you good friends with your bandmates?

Go to the party and make it a good time. Socialize with everyone and be friendly.

You have the band in common.

Sounds like you may need to find a band of people just like you so you feel more comfortable.

 

[FingerDub]

One of my bandmates was the best man, at my wedding, another is my neighbor who I was friends with before we formed, who by the way is 20 years older than the rest of us and we still hang out.

 

[Cheez]

Nope. Friendly, but not friends.

 

[dreamadream99]

I've been in the band less than a year

You've been in the band almost a year, and don't feel your bandmates are your friends yet? Then you probably won't.

Still, go to the party and support your band.

 

[bigboy_78]

I would politely decline the invitation. There is no obligation on you part at all.

I enjoy my band's company, but I don't hang out with them any more than is absolutely necessary.

 

[RadioactiveGuy4]

It depends on the band. In my current band we are friendly bit we don't hang out side of the band setting.

 

[soulman969]

Always. In the rare instances when that hasn't been the case I wasn't in the band long. Bandmates are my brothers.

 

[zachoff]

Yup, we go to shows together and grab beers every so often. The other two live pretty close to each other and hang out more than I do... I live about 40min away.

Still hang out every so often w my old guitar player too.

 

[rufus.K]

mine are friends

 

[tyohars]

I never want to join a band that I can't be friend with. So, my previous 2 band was with my friend. Still friend after broke up.

 

[jamro217]

I've been in quite a few different band situations, from best friends playing music together to sharing the stage with people I'm almost ashamed to share the solar system with. It's always more fun when your friends are there with you. Unless you really are uncomfortable being put in a social gathering or if you just plain hate the guy, treat this like you would a company outing. Go, be pleasant, meet and greet, have a burger and leave. No harm done, and you may find some good comes out of just being there for a bandmate on their special day. Next time there is a difference of opinion on how the vocals go, instead of just being the bassist, you're the guy who helped celebrate a birthday once.

 

[mikewalker]

In my tiny little universe, Bandmates have to be friends. In fact EVERYONE I interact with with any regularity is a friend. Life is too short to putz around with 'acquaintances' and 'associates'... (Let alone ENEMIES)

 

[Hevy T]

I need to get along with people I play with.

But do I hang out with people I play with? No I don't hell I dont even hang out with my closest friends! I am strictly work and home kinda guy. I will sometimes have coffee, or help them with things, but I am way to introverted to hangout with anyone but my wife and dogs

 

[ktedrow]

I'm good friends with one of my bandmates, and we hang out a lot together the two of us. But as a band, not so much. Although we all like each other and get along really well, we just have busy lives outside the band.

Have you socialized with your current bandmates much? If not then I would probably go to the party, just to see what they're like in a non-band situation. Could be eye-opening. But if I'd done quite a bit, and knew it wouldn't be that much fun for me, then I'd take a pass. Nothing wrong with that, IMO.

 

[biguglyman]

Generally speaking I try to be friends with bandmates. That being said, current band BL is a guy I've played with on and off for over twenty years. The "offs" are because he's an a-hole and I can only put up with him for so long before he pisses me off to the point where I'll quit. Approaching that point again soon... I still consider him a friend but I can only take so much of him in a band environment. We actually don't get gigs at certain places in town because he's pissed off the bar owners over the years. He's a hell of a musician though.

 

[Stevorebob]

Friends enough. But more like business partners.

 

[cheapbasslovin]

I keep in touch with some old bandmates, but for the most part they are people I made things with and not much more. It's so rare that I'm in the exact same place in my life as my band mates.

That said, if I were invited and had no other place to be, I'd go to the party. I might not hang out long, but I'd show up.

 

[Wulfensteiner]

Now that you ask, I can't honestly say that I'm best buds with the other guys. We have very, very little in common (I'm the youngest by about 11 years) apart from creating something altogether different from what else is on offer in our scene.

Band meetings, verge on the awkward side. I put it down to the 'generation gap', but we get through it and they're productive enough. I'd give those guys the shirt off my back but I can't say we'd hang..