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Do you consider your bandmates as friends?

Do you consider your bandmates your friends?

  • Yes, we would/do hang outside of our band

    Votes: 320 70.3%

  • No, we wouldn’t hang if we didn’t play music together

    Votes: 135 29.7%
  • Total voters
    455
#161
BassAndReeds said:
I have a bandmate's birthday party upcoming and I'm dreading it. We're not the same generation. We're not in the same stage in life. We have a completely different musical background. Point blank, we basically have nothing in common.

I've been in the band less than a year. The band has been together a lot longer, but gone through a major change when replacing their last bass player with yours truly. I'm obligated to go to this birthday party, but I really don't want to.

Would you feel the same way? Or are you good friends with your bandmates?
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Depends on the group, but for the most part, my only friends are people I do music with.
 
#162
Tom Baker said:
I'm the type of person that prefers solitude if I'm not actively engaged in an activity for a specific purpose. Basically, I don't hang out. I'm friendly with the people I play with and sometimes chat with them on hangouts but I'm not a big socializer. That being said I would probably go to a bandmates birthday party if invited. It's easy to do and you don't have to stay the whole time. Sometimes a brief appearance and some well wishes is enough.
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No you don't you gallivanted around the time space continuum with a series of very attractive companions. Sarah Jane Smith, Leela (the original with 2 eyes), Romana, Nyssa and Tegan and the robot dog. I looked it up, but I remember Leela very well.
 
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#165
Only time I can actually hangout with bandmates, without it being awkward, is when were getting drunk. I actually don't like having close relationships with people so I really don't mind. Prefer it, actually. Keeps things drama free too (for me at least) I would just go and socialize, man. Its not a big deal to just show up for a little bit. You're in the band so Im sure there will be people that will want to get to know you! Would be a good opportunity to meet some new friends or fellow musicians.
 
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#166
I have had some band mates who are friends and others who are not. It really doesn't matter to me as long as in the band situation they are easy to deal with and are prepared to play at rehearsal and gigs. I look at it the same way I would any job. There are some co-workers who you become close friends with and others you don't see outside of work. The last band I was in we rarely saw each other outside of rehearsals and gigs but since I was the co-band leader, I spoke to everyone on a weekly basis. My business partner and I do a lot of writing and recording for several tv shows and we are very close friends as well.
 
#172
I've known the drummer for a decade, he was the drummer for the first band I was in. I could see myself hanging out with him, but probably not the other members. That said, they are all about 20yrs older than I am. And, I don't hang out much anymore, w/ young kids and such.
 
#173
A band is like a job: You have a role to play and you play that role in concert with others who also have their roles to play.

At any job, it is wise to be friendly and to develop rapport with coworkers. Overall and over time, it's wisest to stop at that: friendly, not friends. Same in a band.
 
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#174
I consider my bandmates as friends. Some new, some going back decades. That said, none of them are my "best friends". Still, I enjoy their company as much as playing with them. As for the age and cultural differences? Who cares? Good people are good people. Enjoy them, if they are. Keep contact to a minimum if not.
 
#178
Stumbo said:
Sounds like you may need to find a band of people just like you so you feel more comfortable.
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IMO not a criterian at all for determining your musical directions if you're serious about music. It's a vocation, or at least an avocation - your musical goals have to be the deciding factor.

If you're using your music as a social outlet, maybe you need reconsider your musical priorities.
 
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