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Does Your Other Half Understand/Approve?

#27
My ex wife became completely unreasonable about me playing, eventually she gave me an ultimatum that it was either music or her. Notice that I said EX wife. Funny, I had a bass in my hands when we met.

Th next relationship I was in she was totally supportive, bu we had other problems that made it not work. Of course at the time she wasn't working, and I was doing quite well financially by that point, solely from music, so that may have had something to do with it.

My current girlfriend is also my musical partner, we front a band together. Makes it pretty easy to get permission to have an extra rehearsal or two.
 
#29
Here's a twist for you guys, I had a gf who wanted me to play out and be in a band even when I said I needed a break from music for a few months. She actually got to the point of being forceful and she would try to set up 'jam dates' with me and guitarists and drummers she knew. It would of been sweet had I been wanting to play, but I had no desire to get out and do it right then. It was really weird how much she wanted me to be in a band.
 
#31
jmattbassplaya said:
Here's a twist for you guys, I had a gf who wanted me to play out and be in a band even when I said I needed a break from music for a few months. She actually got to the point of being forceful and she would try to set up 'jam dates' with me and guitarists and drummers she knew. It would of been sweet had I been wanting to play, but I had no desire to get out and do it right then. It was really weird how much she wanted me to be in a band.
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Sounds like someone REALLY wanted to date a band guy.
 
#33
jmattbassplaya said:
Here's a twist for you guys, I had a gf who wanted me to play out and be in a band even when I said I needed a break from music for a few months. She actually got to the point of being forceful and she would try to set up 'jam dates' with me and guitarists and drummers she knew. It would of been sweet had I been wanting to play, but I had no desire to get out and do it right then. It was really weird how much she wanted me to be in a band.
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That was so she could get you out of the house so your old drummer could come hang out.
 
#37
My boyfriend isn't a musician and has never been to any of my gigs. He sees my gigs and rehearsals as my job (I play full-time). My band mates say I'm really lucky, but that he's also missing out. I was puzzled at first and kind of hurt, but a few friends also said that my boyfriend probably doesn't want to see what goes on at the gigs. I think that I probably have a good deal, as I can focus 100% on the gig.
 
#38
Many years ago, I allowed the ex to slowly apply pressure that eventually led to my putting down my bass for a couple of years because the hassle wasn't worth the effort. There was no enjoyment in playing knowing what I'd face when I got home. Needless to say......it didn't last long. Sold my amp but held on to my bass. Picked it up again right after we split.

When my current wife and I began dating, I made it VERY clear that I would NEVER allow her.....or anyone else.....make me put it down again. That was 33+ years ago and never a word has been mentioned.

She understands and never hassles me but, I'm also aware of the need to maintain a balance between music and family to keep things in perspective.
 
#39
Tituscrow said:
Just wondering what your partners do, and do they just let you do your thing because she/he 'gets it', or do you ever find yourself vainly trying to explain why you need to jam with the band?

Also, I once had a girlfriend that came to gigs but more to make sure I wasn't up to no good with groupies. Chance would be a fine thing!

Interested to hear others experiences...
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My wife certainly "gets it". It might have a lot to do with the fact that she sings in a band as well. She had practice last night, leaving me home alone, so I went and started work on a painting.

I'll have practice this Thursday night, and then I have to go into the studio on Friday evening for a mixing session. That left us with Monday & Wednesday for some "us time". Well, Monday some friends came over. Wednesdays the wife watches America's Next Top Model, so I must find something better to do with my time, maybe I'll do a bit of jamming upstairs. I'll try and book practices on Tuesdays, when she also has practice, but I cant always since I have to work around 4 other people's schedules...

oh well, Saturday we're waking up at 5:30am to go to Catalina, theres always room for some "us time" somewhere.

She loves coming to my gigs though.
 
#40
Darth Handsome said:
And insecurity issues.
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Yup, that was my ex's problem. She was fine with rehearsal once a week, probably because it was at my house. Gigs were a whole 'nother beast... it got to a point where I didnt want her to come along anymore, as she was always bitching about something, and generally ruining my good time. I never did anything wrong, but her insecurities would not allow her to realize that.
 

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