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Don't Gig If You're Suffering From Diarrhoea!!

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Potaton, Apr 30, 2009.


  1. Potaton

    Potaton

    Apr 27, 2009
    We did a gig @ the Two Pigs in Cheltenham,UK,3 years ago...I hadn't been too well in the bowel region for a couple of days...Anyway,half way through one of our songs,i decided i needed to fart...Needless to say,it was more "Liquid" than Gas...I had to stand there,with my underwear full of liquid poop,pretending everything was fine,whilst my colleagues were stomping around the stage wondering where the fowl stench was coming from........Me=Red face!!!

    When we finished the song,i left our singer to entertain the audience as best as he could whilst i ran to the toilet,took my trousers & undies off,washed my backside with clean toilet water,hid my soiled undies behind the pan,put my trousers back on & carried on gigging.......A truly horrid experience,but it makes for a good story to tell the Grandchildren!
     
  2. Demon_Hunter

    Demon_Hunter

    Jun 8, 2008
    :eek:

    Just waiting for that first post that says, "No pix or it didn't happen" :help:
     
  3. smogg

    smogg

    Mar 27, 2007
    NPR, Florida
    I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

    LMAO...no pic needed on this one thank you.
     
  4. Potaton

    Potaton

    Apr 27, 2009
    Believe me,taking pictures was the last thing on my mind at the time.....I wish i had though :D
     
  5. whitedk57

    whitedk57

    May 5, 2005
    Franklin, NC
    I can't believe you shared that. But since you did, I have a similar experience running sound at church. Well, I had no indication that I was ill in any way, and I went to fart. This was during practice before the service. I had to hurry home, change clothes, throw my undies away, take a quick shower, and get back to the church before service started. Not cool, but funny now!
     
  6.  
  7. toobalicious

    toobalicious

    May 6, 2008
    triad, nc
    maybe we should start the "bassists with IBS" club?
     
  8. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    I would think this would go without saying. But hey, live and learn man.
     
  9. Your story reminds me of a Fishbone story that I read about. The bassplayer and singer were reminiscing about their first tour of Japan back in the '80s. Angelo, the singer, got the runs, and the bass player said he could smell that smell, and even saw some of it rolling down and out of the singer's pant leg.

    Ug. Nasty, but they're still out there touring today.
     
  10. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Chicago
    Best advice I ever took: Don't fart when you have diarrhea :ninja:
     
  11. BillyRay

    BillyRay Supporting Member

    Jan 20, 2008
    Quebec
    A friend of mine shat himself during a classical guitar audition in college. His words when he got out of the room: "I took a gamble and I lost."

    I had to buy a tarp at Canadian Tire to put on his seat. Hilarious.
     
  12. Ah, a timeless classic- the onstage 'Shart.' Been there.
     
  13. BassScum

    BassScum

    May 1, 2008
    So Cal
    Yeah, Don't fart if you think you got diarreah until you can get to a toilet. I had the same thing happen but not on stage but on the way driving to a gig. I had to pull over at a gas station use the bathroom clean up and also chuck my undies in the trash went commando the rest of the night.
     
  14. Haaaaa you gambled and lost
     
  15. Igital

    Igital

    Dec 19, 2008
    Norway
    Did some gigs in Poland in the eighties and several of us got food poisoned. In the middle of a song one of our guitar players just throws his guitar on the stage floor (he's usually always careful with his gear), jumps off stage and does the funniest attempt at running I've ever seen, all the way through the audience to the toilets at the back of the room. We had to finish the gig without him...
     
  16. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Cali Intergalactic Mind Space - always on the edge
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Imodium AD can usually get you through stuff like this. 'rrhea usually goes away on its own after the bacteria or the cause has been flushed out of the body,

    Depending on your situation, drink lots of water regularly and some Gatorade (electrolytes). Depending on the cause, you may want to eat some plain yogurt and bananas. See the Doc if it continues.

    Once your diarrhea starts to ease up, start eating low-fiber foods and foods that can easily be digested. Chicken noodles, crackers and rice will help you feel better after your bout with diarrhea. Do not start eating dairy products and greasy, high-fat foods until after you're fully recovered.

    Info is from: http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/health/how-to-get-rid-of-diarrhea/
     
  17. Jerose

    Jerose

    Nov 28, 2005
    Syracuse, NY
    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.


    Ok maybe a lot.
     
  18. Er, are you sure it was 'throw up?'
     
  19. BillyRay

    BillyRay Supporting Member

    Jan 20, 2008
    Quebec
    Stumbo, is there a question you don't have the answer to ?

    a) My singer is a big pansy... Stumbo: Here are some links to deal with it.
    b) Quick I need to learn walk bass for an audition... Stumbo: Here are some links to help ya.
    c) I'm sharting myself on a regular basis... Stumbo: Ease off on the dairy, and yah, here are some links.

    :bassist:
     
  20. Had that happen on a much milder level once... it was at a live show in a Chicago dive bar that some one was recording. The recording did not pick up the butt trumpet i was playing all night long. We got a copy of this show and called it "the loose bowel sessions."
     

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