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Don't Gig If You're Suffering From Diarrhoea!!

#24
Ah yes I think everyone here that has done any gigging AT ALL, can relate to this. I remember from many moons ago when coin operated bathroom stalls came to pass early 80's ? I saw the following on a bathroom wall " Well here I sit, broken hearted. I paid a quarter to s*it and only farted. Later on I took a chance, I cut a fart, and s*it my pants".
 
#25
toobalicious said:
maybe we should start the "bassists with IBS" club?
Click to expand...

Trust me, having IBS and being on stage takes some crafty timing as to how long before a gig you should have supper... I have had IBS for a lot of years, had some awful close calls, it's freaking awful.... but timing is so important.. I never eat anything at all after 6 pm on any given day, nothing to eat for at least 4 hours before I am onstage... for obvious reasons..
 
#27
I had my large intestine removed 15 years ago due to ulcerative colitis and have gigged regularly ever since, in all sorts of settings. Someday I hope to write the authoritative guide to public restrooms, with a patented rating system. I am like George Costanza in my knowledge of clean public restrooms. But hey, my nickname was Gasius Clay for a LONG time, so at least something good came out of it! Probably my worst moment though was when I passed out onstage due to an intestinal blockage (post op scar tissue, doesn't happen much anymore but in the years following surgery it was a once in a while thing), just as the guitarist from the boxtops (interestingly named Gary Tallent- being in Jersey, I'm sure he got a lot of questions...)joins us onstage. I'm sure he thought I was an alcoholic or dope fiend, but no, much less exciting...
Anyway, I know a few other musicians with UC, and one other bassist who had the same surgery. Maybe the low notes really do resonate with your guts as they claim.
 
#29
I've got a story. I copied it from an old thread, but it seems to fit here.

We were in the middle of playing Cissy Strut > Soul Island, which is a long instrumental jam that we chose to open up our second set with. It gives our singer a little break (read time to remember to tune his freakin' mandolin). Well our guitarist, keyboardist, drummer, and I were grooving pretty good. I had just kicked on the q-tron and was getting ready to lead us into the transition, when all the sudden I hear a loud "Oh no!" come from my guitarist. A quick little note on this venue's geography. This venue has the single restroom directly to the left of the stage. It's actually tucked away nicely and directly beside our guitarist. Well all the sudden I hear our guitarist go "Oh no!" and I see his face. It literally looks like somebody had sucked all the color out of it. He just lifts up his guitar and puts it on the stand and then runs into the bathroom. Our vocalist, notices this, and quickly runs over to pick up his guitar, and proceeds to kind of just strum the chord. Well we're not sure if we should wait for our guitarist, or if we should proceed to transition into the next jam and start singling Soul Island. So our singer starts moving forward to the mike, so we decide to start into Soul Island. It's going ok, until about half way through we are overwhelmed with this hideous stench. Even people at the bar noticed it. Well on the final note as we end our song, the bathroom door blasts open and our guitarist comes out of there. Kind of walking on his tippy toes. Our guitarist had blocked the toilet and it was flowing out of the toilet and into the bar right beside the stage. Our guitarist is grinning. Everyone notices what's going on. He simply takes a bow and straps back in. We played in that stench for the rest of the night. Shortly after pretty much everyone left. It was hilarious.
 
#30
Things I've used to control loose bowels (I have no gallbladder and it doesn't take much for me to get that problem):

rice
bread (white only)
bananas
potatoes (not fried)
pain killer (vicodin, lortabs, etc. they really do work)
stomach coating antacids (pepto bismal, imodium ad, malox, etc.)
cheese
 
#32
Well you guys must have heard the story about Brittany Spears walking off the stage for no reason a couple of weaks ago.

My first thought. I bet a big one came on and she had no chioce. Oh well
 
#36
Not really gig related but quite awhile back I was in Aruba and had a massive burrito. This thing was awesome and about as big as my head. I go to play pool with my cousin bring the cue back follow through and fill up my tighty whities. No warning whatsoever just nothing but a massive landslide. I ran up to the hotel room pitched the mud bag and cleaned up.
 
#37
hahaha this has been a great thread mostly because i nearly had a run in with this a couple weeks ago... pastrami and smoothie = no no... it is bass related in that i went to poke around guitar center shortly after dinner and had to cut my visit quite shart... i mean short...


flew home (i have a thing about public bathrooms)... watching the gate to my condo complex open was bad... not getting to park near my condo was worse... sprinting to the door, upstairs and fumbling to get the door open was horrendous...


i left the front door open, and buttcheeks were on the way to toilet seat when my ass exploded with the fury of a thousand suns... if anyone wanted to waltz in and bear witness to that be my guest
 
#38
never had an on stage explosion but close. once we were playing a large venue and it had mens and womens restrooms backstage. 5 minutes before we went on i felt a warning rumble. ran to the mens room and it was occupied. so i used the womens room, and of course overflowed the toilet with an awfull mess. But i was good to go and made it out clean and in time for our set.

The funny thing is there were female bassists in two of the other bands playing that night, both playing after us so im sure they witnessed the horror i left behind....:eek:

PS I always carry pepto in my "gig cooler" now
 
#39
Knifedge said:
Trust me, having IBS and being on stage takes some crafty timing as to how long before a gig you should have supper... I have had IBS for a lot of years, had some awful close calls, it's freaking awful.... but timing is so important.. I never eat anything at all after 6 pm on any given day, nothing to eat for at least 4 hours before I am onstage... for obvious reasons..
Click to expand...

I have intermittent IBS so I know it can be scary sometimes, and how planning can be important.

Imodium AD = holy substance

I've also found Thai sticky rice (the kind you can roll into balls with your hands, not sticky like Chinese white rice), while being bland, is very soothing too, just mau down on some of that for lunch before a gig and you should be fine for the evening.
 

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