Don't Wear Shorts

[Duder]

So... which are the best shorts for metal?

Also, guess it's not a good idea to mix pant lengths unless you have a crossover for bi-panting.

Aaaaaaand I have a new signature

 

[Big Brother]

Do the TB fashion police have an opinion on capris? I live in a pretty cold part of the country, so I like having a chance to wear something besides pants and long underwear for 2 months out of the year. I typically wear the capris with calf-high Harley boots. Also, I am seldom seen onstage without a black bowler hat, regardless of the season. I must be breaking an awful lot of fashion rules.

When everything is wrong, nothing is wrong.

 

[g4string]

I remember what a older wiser player once told me when I was coming up.
Always dress at least on step above the audience. He remarked how it is important to know who the performers are in a crowd. That always stuck with me.

That's my motto. If I'm subbing, and playing for a group the first time, I go two steps above standard dress. Otherwise, I try to look like I'm worth being paid to play for your entertainment.....

 

[tedious1]

People saying "bite me" need to realize that - yes they are free to wear shorts but they shouldn't. Just like you're free to hold a lit cherry bomb but you shouldn't. Just like you're free to drink a case of tequila but you shouldn't. Just like you're free to run with scissors but you shouldn't. Okay you didn't learn proper dress requirements but that's no reason for others to not try to help you see the light...

Not so much, I would suggest however that you and the OP need to find the interview that Rolling Stone did with William S Burroughs back in the previous millenium and read it. I'll do my best (and paraphrase to put it in bass terms) but reading the original is well worth it.

Essentially, Burroughs suggested there are two types of people in the world, Johnsons and Sh1ts. Johnsons mind their own business, they won't stand idly by while a real crime is committed, like hanging on a passing note, but if it isn't hurting anyone else, the Johnson minds his own business. Sh1ts on the other hand, have no business of their own. Their only business is sticking their nose in other people's business. Sh1ts tell you that you can't wear shorts, or that tone is all in the fingers, etc.

Don't be a Sh1t!

In the meantime, I've got to go and change my shorts, I have rehearsal tonight and I'm wearing my -3db@120hz shorts, and I hate having to recalibrate my eq because I wore the wrong shorts...

 

[StayLow]

I look great in shorts, and if the BL is OK with it then I'm looking good in a quality dress shirt and dress shorts when gigging in the blazing sun in summer and half the audience is shirtless or in a bikini top.

 

[OldCityBassman]

Yeah right, you obviously have never spent the summer in Florida. That's like me saying you should never wear long pants when its 0 degrees outside.

 

[rolandm]

I wear kilts, so …

Invalid Link Removed

 

[Runnerman]

Yah, but you got a tie and a man purse so it pulls together fine.

 

[rolandm]

LOL. That'd be a sporran. Specifically, a hunting sporran. And it's alwas a good idea to wear a heavy one, in case some inebriated broad yells, "Dress up day!" and grabs your kilt.

 

[lfmn16]

No matter how many times you and others say this, it's just not true. If you actually read the thread, you'd see there are times and places where it is not only tolerable, but appropriate to wear shorts.

+1

This has nothing to do with common sense, it's all about some weird need to be in control.

 

[Stranger Danger]

Can't is a command. Don't is advice.

 

[Sixgunn]

LOL. That'd be a sporran. Specifically, a hunting sporran. And it's alwas a good idea to wear a heavy one, in case some inebriated broad yells, "Dress up day!" and grabs your kilt.

Especially if you're going commando!!

 

[Crackle]

I've played onstage wearing shorts and seriously regretted it after seeing the photos. My policy is this: IF YOU'RE ONSTAGE, LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG ONSTAGE.

 

[Sixgunn]

Can't is a command. Don't is advice.

WHAT??? If I "command" someone not to do something, I use the word "don't". Not "can't". That wouldn't even make sense.
When I tell my kids "don't put your finger in the wall outlet", I'm not giving advise.

 

[JimmyM]

I've played onstage wearing shorts and seriously regretted it after seeing the photos. My policy is this: IF YOU'RE ONSTAGE, LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG ONSTAGE.

I soooooooo agree with this! Shorts are fine for soundchecks. But unless you're content with being some schlubby musician who plays weekends at the Bucket O'Blood and never progresses past it, you won't wear shorts. Yes, I know some famous bands wear shorts onstage, but they look ridiculous unless their name is Devo, and they spend most of their shows wearing long pants, too. There was a time guys in our band would show up in shorts, and it was so embarrassing to me, but one guy refused to go along with any no-shorts policy and he was a founding member so we could never get it to stick. Once we let him go (due to many other reasons, BTW), we decided to do away with the shorts, and I think we look MUCH better now and more like a pro band who looks like they should be onstage.

 

[Stranger Danger]

People saying "bite me" need to realize that - yes they are free to wear shorts but they shouldn't. Just like you're free to hold a lit cherry bomb but you shouldn't. Just like you're free to drink a case of tequila but you shouldn't. Just like you're free to run with scissors but you shouldn't. Okay you didn't learn proper dress requirements but that's no reason for others to not try to help you see the light...

This

 

[Sixgunn]

Yes, I know some famous bands wear shorts onstage, but I think they look ridiculous unless their name is Devo,

*Fixed*

 

[JimmyM]

As far as you and everyone on TB is concerned, my words are written in stone and do not require "fixing."

 

[Sixgunn]

As far as you and everyone on TB is concerned, my words are written in stone and do not require "fixing."

There's always an exception to every rule

 

[rolandm]

Alas, this poor low-life will never achieve stardom and is doomed to be a "schlubby musician who plays weekends at the Bucket O'Blood and never progresses past it."

Look, love or hate shorts (or kilts for that matter), the problem isn't with shorts. It's with dressing inapropriately for the venue.