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Double Bass Double bass Train Wrecks

#21
A japanese bass player located here in Sweden slipped on a icy spot some winters ago and landed sitting on his bass that he carried on his back.

A teacher that I met years ago had some work made on his bass, and got some gigs. So he contacted the local man that helped everybody with their basses, getting strings and stuff. A really nice man. He has a couple of basses and it turned out that he let him use his very finest bass for the week for free.

After the first gig, the teacher got home, leaned the bass standing agains the wall and tried to get the door keys out of his pocket - not completely sober. And in the corner of his eye he sees the bass crashes down the stairs. I was told later the neck and head broke off, and the body got some really bad cracks. This is a story that nobody talks about, I guess it's just too heart breaking.
 
#22
Mike Goodbar's story reminds me of a great "stress reliever"- this was a DSO story told to me by a former member.

Andre Previn was going to guest conduct the DSO, and back then they had a real reputation as a group who didn't give anyone an easy time. And Previn was looked on as a Hollywood dillitante- who does he think he is, trying to conduct US?

So the entire orchestra tuned up a little sharp. A full semitone, in fact. Previn walked in, and the all figured they show him who was boss. He stepped up to the podium with a serious expression, lifted his baton, and just before the first downbeat, said:

"halfstep down...."

The entire orchestra exploded in laughter, and the concert, my friend said, went very well.
 
#24
This one just came to thought.

Was playing with a percussion ensemble for a middle school competition. I had just finished tuning my bass guitar with the electric tuner. Got everything right. The "conductor" of the ensemble checked me and I was good to go.

We're going to start the song (me and the pianist start the piece) Right when I play my first note, I was way out of tune it wasn't even funny. Well at that point. So a couple bars into the piece and I got the g string tuned. Then later on in the piece when I needed to use my e string, it was also out of tune. That was not a very good day for me.
 
#28
stockbass said:
A japanese bass player located here in Sweden slipped on a icy spot some winters ago and landed sitting on his bass that he carried on his back.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I've heard too many stories of the straps breaking on the cheaper cases, and causing the basses to slam on the floor, bridge first. For this purpose, I choose to carry mine everywhere in my hands; they seem so much more reliable than my back. Some of these train wreck stories are pretty heartbreaking - keep them coming!
 
#29
Last Wednesday I arrive at the gig, and because the passenger door is faulty I have to lean over the bass and fart around for a while to get it open. To make life easy I put the contents of my pocket on the dashboard. Anyway - I get the bass out, lock the door, go round the other side and lock that to notice the interior light is on and lighting up my keys on the dash. The piano player wants to know where my gear is, the singer wants to put my window through (you can fix it - bollox to that - it would have to stay that way for 2 days in an unsavoury area) so after trying various keys, screwdrivers, bening the door frame back and trying to feed a belt in I ring the breakdown and do the gig accoustically looking over the pianists shoulder. It went ok coz when breakdown called as they did on several occassions my phone only went off between numbers and when they arived the trumpet player was laying out on a number and dealt with the guy. Funny how the scrotes that steal your car in seconds flat are never around when they could be useful.
 
#30
This is also not a bass trainwreck, per se, but it was so funny it sounds like something out of a three stooges comedy. When I was a kid our local civic symphony came to perform in our high school auditorium. About mid-way through the concert, the tympanist was beating the hell out of that big drum with mallets and suddenly one of the mallet heads came unglued and bounced off the drum head and flew across the stage over the heads of the fiddle players and hit a clarinet player right in the head! It was hilarious. I think it was at this point that I made up my mind not to become a classical bassist and to concentrate on jazz instead.
 
#31
Then there was the incident where this bassist friend of mine named Jac had to make a trio gig in an elegant supper club out west. He was mainly a horn player, but played decent bass, and he didn't own an upright at that time. So to make the gig he borrowed a big blonde KAY from another musician in town. The club was inside a big hotel and to get there you walked through a large alcove. Inside the alcove to the right was a huge floor to ceiling mirror. To the left was the entrance to the room. Here comes Jac, carrying his big blonde borrowed Kay on his shoulder, neck first. He walks across the hotel lobby and into that alcove and swings to his right, walking right into that huge mirror, neck first. He shattered the mirror and busted the scroll right off the bass. He worked that room 6 weeks with that busted KAY.

Then there was the fellow of dubious musical talent who liked to pretend he was some kind of bluegrass bass player. I met this fool at a festival. He had a beat up old plywood instrument and he had sharpened the end pin down on a grinding wheel until it was sharp as hell. And he would drag this "instrument" out for parking lot picking sessions....his claim to fame was that he would take a run with his bass and throw it forward and "stick" it in the grass like a spear. He could throw it pretty far too. He thought it was cool.
 
#33
This is not a mechanical train wreck, but a musical one:

Here's a true story:

April 1998: I'm in a quartet that's playing the Cape May Jazz festival in NJ. We play our show on Friday night, it goes great, Saturday night we check out everyone else, and Sunday is the Mandatory Jam Session (you must show up or else you do not get paid).

So my tenor player, drummer, and pianist get called up and play few burnin tunes with another bass player. Various players go up, finally, I get called. I get behind the house upright. Here's what else is on stage:
A funk/R&B drummer that looks just like Michael Jackson.
Two old white guys that had to be at least 90 years old each on piano and clarinet.
A female percusionist (think Sheila E.)

So this conglomeration is trying to figure out what to play.....when all of a sudden a guy dressed entirely in black leather with a Telecaster in hand jumps onstage, plugs in, and yells into the mic "This is a song Robert Johnson wrote in 1921 (sic) !!!!!"
He then proceeds to launch into a distortion filled version of "Crossroads" in the style of Cream.

I'm obviously the only one who knows the tune. So I'm trying to play that bass riff on someone else's upright with high action, the drummer is playing the latest Toni Braxton beat over it, the percussionist is trying to make it a bossa, and the two old guys start playing Dixieland licks over it.

Needless to say, this ended the jam session and we went home.

I would give anything to here a recording to that. Except I might laugh so hard I'd hurt myself.
 
#34
Ray knows this bassist, so does Fuqua and alot of NYC guys:
He's waiting for a cab to JFK airport for a gig in Europe. Takes his bass out to the curb in that flight case. Runs back into the apartment for something, comes out and sees his bass in a garbage truck, the crusher bar just breaking that thing.

My first teacher was driving home from her summer gig, 19th century French bass in the car. She fell asleep at the wheel. The car rolled over 5 times. She and the bass have been restored. Miraculous.
 
#35
In 8th grade we were playing a piece (don't remember which) and were on a section with pizz. that was marked ffff. So I'm pulling pretty hard on the E and suddenly I heard BOOM! Everyone stops playing and looks back at me. I look down and the E had popped off of the bridge. :eek:
 
#36
A bass player friend of mine, long ago had what we used to call a Territory Band. These bands traveled different sections of the country, hence the name. They varied in size, this one being about a thirteen piece. They would pack the bus thusly:
Bottom: Thirteen of those old fasioned big band music stands made from heavy fiberboard. Next: All the drums, including the huge, heavy trap case. Next: Everbodys suit cases and band uniforms, including the girl singers big, heavy show dresses.
Next: All the instuments. Brass, reeds etc.
Next: the sound system.
On the very top: The great old Morelli bass of my friend, the leader.
Three hrs. into the trip, the driver rolls the bus. Nobody dies or is even hurt badly.
The Morelli was taken to Kolacny Music in Denver the next day. It wasn't even able to be taken out of it's case.
 
#37
There seem to be a lot of stories about Orchestras here - so the concert I remember is the Berlin Philharmonic comes to the Albert Hall with Sir Simon Rattle returning to his home country for one of the first times since getting this prestigious appointment - I was lucky to get tickets!

Anyway - the finale is the Rite of Spring and the quiet bassoon introduction starts and is wafting gently through the Albert Hall - when the moment is broken by a loud mobile phone ring tone!! :mad:

Rattle stops the whole orchestra - looks daggers in the direction of the phone and starts the whole piece again!

It went very well and there was huge applause and after a few bows - he quietened everybody down and made an impassioned speech saying how he loves the audience here and the proms concerts - but please leave those "things" outside - and he said it with such venom that we knew exactly what he meant!! ;)
 
#38
Here's a few of my more embaraasing moments.

I was playing a gig with an orchestra in ireland, a famous soprano was singing with a tenor. I always have nightmares about my phone ringing etc, so i usually turn it off and leave it in my bass case, which i did. Just as we are going on stage, a viola player friend of mine tells me that i left my palm pilot(digital organiser thing) in his car before the gig, so he left it just off stage on my bow case. Oh, great, i thought. Just as the the tenor was about to sing the opening aria, i hear my organiser beeping 3 times "beebeeep, beebeep, beebeep'- i didn't have it before i went on, i never set it to silent, and the alarm was preset. It was set to loud. It also reminded me 5 times, once every minute. I just had to sit there, and sweat it out, and pretend that i didn't know what it was. Knowing that it was coming 4 more times after the first was horrible.

Another story was when I was about 15, and was playing with the Irish Youth Orchstra in Aberdeen, Scotland. It was a festival of youth orchestras, and some of us were asked to play and rehearse in the 'festival orchestra' as well as our own orchestra's very busy schedual.

The last rehearsal was an 'open rehearsal' type thing, like an informal concert. I was so tired after playing (and partying) for a week with both orchestras, that in a very quiet passage where the basses weren't playing, i fell asleep, still sitting on my stool. I woke up falling sideways off the stool, slamming both feet onto the stage and looking, well, like i just woke up. Most people thought it was hilarious. The conductor wasn't so pleased.
 
#39
About a month ago, some friends and I were playing for a biker camp-out.....really, and I had my 1938 Kay, named Lars, that I carry around in my Infinti convertible. Now I pride myself on being able to fit a lot of band gear in my car, and I carefully put Lars in the front seat pointing backwards. So I carefully, skillfully, start to put the top up, as I often do and about half way up, you guessed it, I hear a crunch. OMG< I stop the top and my Kay is stuck on one of the ribs of the top! So I try to put it back down and and then up and all I hear is this awful creaking!!! After about 4 tries, it finally disengages from my bass. Thank my lucky stars that the only real damage was to my glove box! The bass was ok, but I don't think I will do that again!
 
#40
Doug Ring said:
Ah the old Peavey T40... still got mine. Though every so often I'm tempted to put four legs on it and call it a coffee table...
Click to expand...
Haha, I'm glad other people have shared the same wonderful experiences with their T-40's as I have. It was a great bass, though the "luthier" in my town screwed it up for $75. I had it fixed later on for $25. :scowl:

Two years ago, I was just sitting in band class (we weren't playing at the moment), and the bass was sitting a few feet behind me on its stand. Then I heard the most horrid crash I've ever heard, turned around, and it looked like a crime scene. Neck, body, and bridge all lying about a foot from each other. Turns out that one of the nitwits that used it in music theory class (who doesn't even play upright) didn't extend the endpin far enough so that it would sit firmly on the ground while on the stand, so it was just kind of dangling there ready to fall.

Here's a good one: My freshman year in high school, I played electric bass in the beginning jazz band, while a senior that I knew played in the advanced jazz band. One day I was walking out of the band room, and he called to me, "Hey Joe, come here. I have something for you." I walked over to him, and he gave me his entire music folder. He said that he had just talked to the instructor, and had quit the band. He also mentioned that they had two concerts immediately after school that day. So my special treat for the evening was sight reading about twenty jazz tunes (one of which was Dizzy Atmosphere by Dizzy Galespe. We played it at about 210-220 BPM, and there was no bass part! The kid had made up the whole song, but never wrote it down. I had fun trying to make up my own bassline by sight looking at the piano chords.), and staying after at the school until about 10:00 p.m..
 

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