Drummer Etiquette

[BOOG]

I ask this as a serious inquiry but, I know the cheap shots are gonna fly so, let’s hear’m all.
Anyone have any ideas, stories or anecdotes I can use to get the message across to my drummer to, “lighten up, man”?
He’s been banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee for over forty years and has quite a bit of experience doing local bar/club/party gigs plus a bit of touring experience with an originals project in his younger years. He’s a great (not overly busy, keeps good time, knows his parts) drummer for what he knows but damn, NO DYNAMICS whatsoever. I’d like to get some jazzed up soft shoe stuff mixed into the set list by spring but I don’t know how to tactfully let him know to lighten up on his touch. I might just let it go and let be what will be but for the sake of discussion I’d like to hear how others approach this.
Note: firing him is not an option. This is a joint project between him and me and we are long time friends before music.

Thank you for taking a minute to listen.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Stevorebob]

Drummer etiquette? That’s an oxymoron, no?

Seriously, I try to have a calm, non-combative and objective conversation, usually during a break over a beer. Maybe it takes a few attempts. Maybe it never works.

 

[BOOG]

Drummer etiquette? That’s an oxymoron, no?

Seriously, I try to have a calm, non-combative and objective conversation, usually during a break over a beer. Maybe it takes a few attempts. Maybe it never works.

Brilliant idea and I agree.
First problem, he doesn’t drink.
I kind of approached this tack in the middle of a rehearsal a few months ago but I want to revisit it.

 

[bassicmike]

If he doesn't have dynamics now, I can't see him ever having it.

You might get him to play quieter if you give him rods.

 

[Oddly]

Maybe gift him some cds/dvds of music featuring drummers with dynamics, saying this is what you'd really love to try playing?

Book yourselves into some coffee-house type gigs where the 'big' sound clearly won't do?

 

[kevindahl]

Yes play some examples of the recordings you like or even better, record your band and indicate the areas where he should be using dynamics. If you have known the guy for so long it shouldn't be too difficult to have a light hearted conversation. It's all about making the band sound better, right?

 

[BOOG]

Yes play some examples of the recordings you like or even better, record your band and indicate the areas where he should be using dynamics. If you have known the guy for so long it shouldn't be too difficult to have a light hearted conversation. It's all about making the band sound better, right?

Yeah you have a good point there. We are good friends but, there’s a little bit of ego in the way. We have different experience in music. He grew up in music as garage band style and has been playing regularly for 45ish years. I grew up and approach it from formal piano and saxophone lessons as a kid and now as an adult, five years into the bass with a relatively strong background in theory, reading and dynamics. I can easily be interpreted as ignorant without experience. Plus, there’s an eleven year difference in age as he being senior to me.

 

[BOOG]

Maybe gift him some cds/dvds of music featuring drummers with dynamics, saying this is what you'd really love to try playing?

Book yourselves into some coffee-house type gigs where the 'big' sound clearly won't do?

That’s an awesome idea about the recording suggestions. Might rip a cd with some van morrison, steely Dan, and miles Davis etc type stuff

 

[BOOG]

If he doesn't have dynamics now, I can't see him ever having it.

You might get him to play quieter if you give him rods.

Great idea for this time of year! I’ll grab him a set of rods and rip a cd for a Xmas gift.

 

[DirtDog]

What kind of kit does he play?

 

[filmtex]

Ah. The $64,000 question. If only we could collectively figure this out, we might change live music completely. Drummers. Sheesh.

 

[vvvmmm]

Great idea for this time of year! I’ll grab him a set of rods and rip a cd for a Xmas gift.

This, and give him, like, Mazzy Star or Cowboy Junkies songs on the CD.

 

[elgranluis]

I don’t understand: this is your life-long friend and you can’t simply tell him “ hey man , I need you to play lightly on the jazz tunes”?

I’ll tell you what, please show him this thread.

 

[eddybuzzard]

I'm a passionate believer that dynamics are what brings a song to life.
Even Bonzo had some soft moments.
As musicians, we should be open to at least explore the concept.

 

[QweziRider]

...but for the sake of discussion I’d like to hear how others approach this.

I'd just tell him. Straight up. No need to be mean about it (and not that you would be), but I can't think of a "tactful" way other than to just say it.

 

[Axtman]

Yeah just tell him.

I would also exaggerate your and the bands dynamics. Play softly so that he has to quiet down to hear the band. Also you might ask him to use brushes or those bundle stick things.

This is why I like electronic drums. You can turn the drummer down yet he can have his headphones blasting away.

 

[JKB1957]

Not happening. Just be happy he's a decent drummer. There are worse drummers out there, much worst.

 

[singlemalt]

He gets brushes for Xmas?

 

[Raoul_Duke]

The title of this thread is an oxymoron.

 

[svlilioukalani]

Good luck with this one!!!

At first try to get him to lighten up while the vocals are going on. This will seem like a more reasonable request to a drummers ears. They can't comprehend playing quieter as a whole. Drummers are primitive beasts, and they only learn slowly through repetitive motions. If you can get the drummer to start playing with dynamics, you half way there.

In my current project the only way we got the drummer to start to play tastefully, and with dynamics; was to hire a hot young female singer with massive chops. Then we convinced him to buy smaller drums that will be easier to move around.