dirtychinchilla, I'm glad the air-clearing went well. I empathize that you might have found some of the responses a bit jolting (I know that mine had a few unpleasant truisms in it). Happily (and what I like about
TB) is you didn't get the usual forum "been there, done that"; "use the search function" and "

here's another one

" responses for what is a universal story of us singer-songwriter+organized fixer+'I just play drums/bass/guitar' amalgams that want an audience.
I had some great follow-up suggestions, but
I bet you have a phone with a camera - or know someone who does.
Get performance videos at your gigs. Videos showing lots of happy people...Grunge may be stuck in 1985, but you don't have to be.
Reason to have you back?...that would be the turnout you drew....you don't actually need a CD to turn those things up right now.
did it all so brilliantly before me. But I'll just throw in my semi-nearby experience...
I played originals, just far enough away from Manchester and Liverpool to be inconvenient, in the 90s which is probably analogous to what London is probably like in 2020. Not many venues that regularly have (or pay, much) live bands. Those that do, and have done so for many years, know what brings in punters and are extremely used to - and kindly dismissive of - fresh new bands who reckon they write killer material. In all the gigs I got (why are bassists usually the fixers?), I can only remember one occasion where the owners put our studio-recorded cassette (yes, cassette tape) on the system and said "I like this, let's have a look at when you can have a date." These people were new to the business, loved live bands and dreamed of running a pub renowned for showcasing exciting new talent. I got friendly (easy rather than self-serving, with such like-minded people) for the fairly short time that they pursued this business model. And I took the Monday to Wednesday night, % of bar takings, slot that they offered. Went back soon after and asked them where I could put up posters of our upcoming gig in their rooms and outlooking windows.
The guitarist and I even did fly-posting around the venues, but we got stopped by rozzers who, handily, realized we both looked like a violent crim they had arrested and offered us the option of taking part in an ID parade rather than be fined for fly-posting. We even got £10 each and biscuits, which is more than the venue gave us, but don't take that as a recommendation (anyhoo, you lucky kids have social media and can attach audio clips to your FB page instead of pasting OSB-covered shop windows at midnight, don't know you're born, you have it made, etc etc).
In fairly short time, venues got to know me because I turned up to see bands they'd booked (usually free entry, so only costing me time); then we (guitarist also) got reviewing the local scene. Unlike us, you won't have printing costs. More venues got to know us, other bands got talking to us, because we were writing about them (and also slipping in plenty of info about what our band was doing). Other bands started sharing slots with us, use our PA and we'll use your drums, their crowd started coming to our gigs and vice versa, venues started asking us if we could help promote them and recommend good acts. Basically, we looked determined and willing to make things happen ourselves which, surprisingly, 90% of originals bands don't because - obviously - their talent alone should be enough. And, after all this, if I mentioned my band's name you won't have heard of it. Because that's usually the case. But I've still got my recordings, some old posters and reviews, and good memories. Plus, my 21y.o son thinks that as many as two of the songs he's heard weren't

.