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Discussion in 'Bass Humor [DB]' started by mje, Nov 9, 2005.

  1. mje


    Aug 1, 2002
    Southeast Michigan
    So this drummer gets tired of all the abuse he gets from other musicians and decides to take up a new instrument. He goes to the corner store, looks around a while and decides on one that looks good. He catches the attention of a salesclerk and asks, "could I try that accordian in the corner?"

    The salesman says "You know, you're the third drummer who's asked me that this week."

    The drummer is astounded. "How did you know I was a drummer?"

    The salesman replies, "For one thing, this is a hardware store, not a music store. And that's not an accordian, it's a radiator."
  2. I enjoyed the humor about the drummer.
    I can remember a friend (also a bass player) who had worked a gig with a very good drumer and remarked, "So many drummers, so little time."
  3. Bobby King

    Bobby King Supporting Member

    May 3, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Q: What do you call someone with a tin ear and no personality that hangs around with musicians?

    A: A drummer.

    Q: Why do drummers leave their sticks on their dashboards?

    A: So they can park in handicapped spots.

    Q: How can you tell when a stage is level?

    A: The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

    I like to tell drummers, "You're the best rubato drummer I've ever worked with!" :bassist:
  4. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    At our last gig, my drummer parked in a handicapped spot for a couple minutes just to get the drums out of his car. I called across the parking lot (it was deserted, about an hour before we started playing) -- "Hey, Wales, did you put your drumsticks on the dashboard?"

    His face was kind of blank for a sec, then he shot me a dirty look and an offended "HEY!" as he got it. Good stuff :D.
  5. mje


    Aug 1, 2002
    Southeast Michigan
    Guy in a bar notices a new vending machine. There's nothing on it but a speaker, a keypad, and a coin slot labeled "50 cents". So he drops in two quarters, and a voice says "Hi! My name's Hugh. What's your IQ?"

    He punches in "140", and for the next ten minutes the machine engages him in conversation about cosmology, the nature of conciousness, and Fermat's last theorem.

    Impressed, he puts in anoter two quarters, and when the machine asks his IQ, he punches in "100". Whereupon the machine intelligently discusses baseball, dating and cars for ten minutes.

    He decides to try one more time. In go the quarters, the machine again says ""Hi! My name's Hugh. What's your IQ?" and he punches in "50".

    There's a long pause, and then the machine says "So.... do you use matched grip, or traditional?"
  6. That's just wrong.
  7. John Sprague

    John Sprague Sam Shen's US Distributor

    Mar 10, 2003
    Rochester, NY
    Sales Manager, CSC Products Inc.
    Omg that's funny. Save picture as... :)
  8. basmansam


    Feb 11, 2005
    What has three legs and an a--hole??
    A Drummers Stool !!
  9. jmain

    jmain Oo, Uhn't uh, Yes! Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2005
    Alexandria, VA
    How do you know when there's a drummer at your front door?
    He doesn't know when to come in.