Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest
- Thread starter Thor
- Start date
- Status
Oppressed musician needs housing (Grand Rapids)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2012-04-27, 12:27AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm a 31 year old guy and I've been playing the acoustic guitar for over 15 years. I also have a college degree and I promise to get a job very quickly if someone will let me stay with them for about a month, until I can save up enough cash and afford to move out. Poverty has forced me to live in a tiny rural town with no transportation or jobs. I can't play my guitar where I am either and I want to practice every day. I have a job that I can start right away in Grand Rapids but not here. Can I sleep on your sofa or in your basement or something until I can get paid a couple of times? We can play music together often. I play everything from rock and roll to the blues and folk. Everything in between. I also stay out a lot and will have no guests.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2012-04-27, 12:27AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm a 31 year old guy and I've been playing the acoustic guitar for over 15 years. I also have a college degree and I promise to get a job very quickly if someone will let me stay with them for about a month, until I can save up enough cash and afford to move out. Poverty has forced me to live in a tiny rural town with no transportation or jobs. I can't play my guitar where I am either and I want to practice every day. I have a job that I can start right away in Grand Rapids but not here. Can I sleep on your sofa or in your basement or something until I can get paid a couple of times? We can play music together often. I play everything from rock and roll to the blues and folk. Everything in between. I also stay out a lot and will have no guests.
Whats funny about the entire thing is it seems like he doesn't know how to use any of it....bass, pedals, amps. Too bad he took his ad down. The verbiage in the ad was priceless too.
Found here if anyone wants to grab the image: [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Own a Piece of Kisstory - $7000 (Indiana)
Date: 2012-04-28, 10:57AM EDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
My friend Todd swore to me that Kiss used this on one their earliest Tours. He says it's Gene Simmons' staircase, I have no proof of it and neither does he, but my mom and dad want it out of the backyard, so it's for sale. Since I know how popular Kiss is, I'm asking $7,000.00 for this authentic ( I think) Kiss prop from around 1974. Whoever buys this thing will get first dibbs on Paul Stanley's staircase if and when I find it. I will sell it for only $7,000.00 when I do find it. I think $14,000.00 for these Kiss staircases is a good price. It is a good item and you will like it. It is 69" tall, 241/2" wide, and 36" Deep. It's Nice!
Location: Indiana
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Own a Piece of Kisstory - $7000 (Indiana)
Date: 2012-04-28, 10:57AM EDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
My friend Todd swore to me that Kiss used this on one their earliest Tours. He says it's Gene Simmons' staircase, I have no proof of it and neither does he, but my mom and dad want it out of the backyard, so it's for sale. Since I know how popular Kiss is, I'm asking $7,000.00 for this authentic ( I think) Kiss prop from around 1974. Whoever buys this thing will get first dibbs on Paul Stanley's staircase if and when I find it. I will sell it for only $7,000.00 when I do find it. I think $14,000.00 for these Kiss staircases is a good price. It is a good item and you will like it. It is 69" tall, 241/2" wide, and 36" Deep. It's Nice!
Location: Indiana
it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
christw said:
AWESOME!!!! I hope this guy and his Todd don't really think some one would buy this.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Quote:
Looking to start band... with unique twist (Las Vegas)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone, my name is Tony. I've been a professional guitar player for 20 years in bands all across the country. I settled down in Las Vegas last year and am looking to start a new band with a unique twist. I'm in to playing hard rock, my influences are myself, Night Ranger, Survivor, .38 Special, Queen, Heart, Loverboy, Def Leppard, etc. I know all of these bands catalogs plus many more. Here's the twist: We would play covers of the bands I mentioned but when it's time for the guitar solo, i will drop my pants. I have an urethral implant that I can set up to emit a small flame of natural gas and will light it on fire. For the duration of the guitar solo I will swing my c*** around on fire. When I do it at the right speed it looks like a flaming pinwheel or fourth of july sparkler. When my solo is over pants go back on. I know it sounds crazy but I lived in other countries for years and this really gets the crowd going. I can swing it in time to most of the songs. If any other band member is interested in getting the implant too that would be great (standing members only, not the drummer). If you're a woman it may work too (urethral implant) as long as your not too meaty down there. At this stage in my career the normal cover band life is not what I'm looking for. With this stage show I guarantee we will be able to book at rates above and beyond what our competition is getting paid. Plus, we don't have to play any of those bs corporate parties (well maybe Playboy's!). Looking for drummer, guitar, bass, keys and backup vox. Please feel free to shoot me a message and I will get back to you. Tony "The Pinwheel" Ocasio.
Quote:
Looking to start band... with unique twist (Las Vegas)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi everyone, my name is Tony. I've been a professional guitar player for 20 years in bands all across the country. I settled down in Las Vegas last year and am looking to start a new band with a unique twist. I'm in to playing hard rock, my influences are myself, Night Ranger, Survivor, .38 Special, Queen, Heart, Loverboy, Def Leppard, etc. I know all of these bands catalogs plus many more. Here's the twist: We would play covers of the bands I mentioned but when it's time for the guitar solo, i will drop my pants. I have an urethral implant that I can set up to emit a small flame of natural gas and will light it on fire. For the duration of the guitar solo I will swing my c*** around on fire. When I do it at the right speed it looks like a flaming pinwheel or fourth of july sparkler. When my solo is over pants go back on. I know it sounds crazy but I lived in other countries for years and this really gets the crowd going. I can swing it in time to most of the songs. If any other band member is interested in getting the implant too that would be great (standing members only, not the drummer). If you're a woman it may work too (urethral implant) as long as your not too meaty down there. At this stage in my career the normal cover band life is not what I'm looking for. With this stage show I guarantee we will be able to book at rates above and beyond what our competition is getting paid. Plus, we don't have to play any of those bs corporate parties (well maybe Playboy's!). Looking for drummer, guitar, bass, keys and backup vox. Please feel free to shoot me a message and I will get back to you. Tony "The Pinwheel" Ocasio.
Looking to start band... with unique twist (Las Vegas)
New Bass Players Check List
1. Learn songs from Night Ranger, .38 Special, Queen, etc.
2. Move to Las Vegas
3. Buy fire retardant pants
4. Make Dr. Appointment for urethral implant
5. Explain to wife why sex from this point on may be a little different
6. Make appointment with accountant to handle my finances for when I'm famous!
New Bass Players Check List
1. Learn songs from Night Ranger, .38 Special, Queen, etc.
2. Move to Las Vegas
3. Buy fire retardant pants
4. Make Dr. Appointment for urethral implant
5. Explain to wife why sex from this point on may be a little different
6. Make appointment with accountant to handle my finances for when I'm famous!
didn't somebody post that Urethral FIRE CL ad in a different iteration of this thread? i've seen that before somewhere.
part? i have POOPED ON IT.
part? i have POOPED ON IT.
Auguste said:
I know people like that. Unreal is a good word to describe these people. Fake is another good one.
Groupie for hire to chauffer band after gig (sacramento)
Date: 2012-04-10, 3:05PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Local band is seeking a "for-hire" groupie to chauffer drunken band back home after gig. Possible stop at Del Taco may be necessary on the way home with a free meal from the Dollar Menu as payment for escort services; contingent on safe return/delivery of the band and equipment. Truck / van needed to haul all of band's equipment. Seating must accommodate 3 men, preferably with water and munchies available.
Cinco de Mayo - late late late.
Date: 2012-04-10, 3:05PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Local band is seeking a "for-hire" groupie to chauffer drunken band back home after gig. Possible stop at Del Taco may be necessary on the way home with a free meal from the Dollar Menu as payment for escort services; contingent on safe return/delivery of the band and equipment. Truck / van needed to haul all of band's equipment. Seating must accommodate 3 men, preferably with water and munchies available.
Cinco de Mayo - late late late.
This one freks me out because I never heard of someone wanting to record a COVER CD but not play out spam/overpost
best of craigslist
tampa bay craigslist > hillsborough co > community > musicians
StillHard musicians
Date: 2012-04-27, 6:56PM EDT Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
StillHard is currently looking for the following musicians. need a guitarist, bassist, & vocalist to finish up the line up. StillHard is a cover band project that is only going to be recording a cd. now shows or performances planned at this time. looking to record a cd and than market it and see how it goes. Band name is done the song tracks are already picked. just need the musicians to learn and record the material. i'll work around your other bands schedule or work. not looking for any money from anyone. just wanting a little bit of your time to learn and record some songs. even if you don't want to play on all 12 tunes. you can pick and choose i'll have different players but would really like one vocalist for all 12 tracks. needing creative open minded musicians not any big ego's or no it alls. this is gonna be something different and not like other cover bands. and really need the seasoned players or those willing to go all the way....only serious replies please i'm not looking to waste yours or my time thank you....
best of craigslist
tampa bay craigslist > hillsborough co > community > musicians
StillHard musicians
Date: 2012-04-27, 6:56PM EDT Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
StillHard is currently looking for the following musicians. need a guitarist, bassist, & vocalist to finish up the line up. StillHard is a cover band project that is only going to be recording a cd. now shows or performances planned at this time. looking to record a cd and than market it and see how it goes. Band name is done the song tracks are already picked. just need the musicians to learn and record the material. i'll work around your other bands schedule or work. not looking for any money from anyone. just wanting a little bit of your time to learn and record some songs. even if you don't want to play on all 12 tunes. you can pick and choose i'll have different players but would really like one vocalist for all 12 tracks. needing creative open minded musicians not any big ego's or no it alls. this is gonna be something different and not like other cover bands. and really need the seasoned players or those willing to go all the way....only serious replies please i'm not looking to waste yours or my time thank you....
Needs no introduction.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
screamer one of the best (cleveland ohio)
iv been interviewed by numerous scouts that wanted to play in there clients band but ire fused for my own resins and had 2 auditions for victory records and couldn't make them because of work scream cover bands like silver stein and alesena and senses fail the best but better iv been doing this for 8 years iv been in 3 different bands i skated for tri star skate boards pro for 1 1/2 years and retired for my own reasons if ur interested in herring i will be more thenhappy to do a live demo any time better than any one u will ever here trust me no minor ******** only looking for series band looking to make a cor rear of this thank u contact post or my num is xxx xxx xxxx name is lee
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
screamer one of the best (cleveland ohio)
iv been interviewed by numerous scouts that wanted to play in there clients band but ire fused for my own resins and had 2 auditions for victory records and couldn't make them because of work scream cover bands like silver stein and alesena and senses fail the best but better iv been doing this for 8 years iv been in 3 different bands i skated for tri star skate boards pro for 1 1/2 years and retired for my own reasons if ur interested in herring i will be more thenhappy to do a live demo any time better than any one u will ever here trust me no minor ******** only looking for series band looking to make a cor rear of this thank u contact post or my num is xxx xxx xxxx name is lee
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
FLAKEY SINGER WANTED (RHETORIC, CA)
Date: 2012-05-01, 2:46PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a looking for a female singer who is not dedicated, doesn't write lyrics, has kids/husband (psycho boyfriends are ok), flakes out on practice 20 minutes before (24 hours will work too) and sounds like gwen stefani (because there are no other good female singers to be compared to and all your friends tell you you sound like her). If you stomp your little feet and try to run this band, you should definitely respond.
We are easy-going
experienced, love what we do, are completely dedicated, will work with you on scheduling practices/shows/recording/photoshoots/etc. even though you have no intention of taking the band seriously and will most likely cancel to go shopping or do your bff's hair.
We are looking to go all the way and realize this is a business-nothing personal. If you can take constructive criticism and can hold your own-this isn't for you.
If you understand that no one makes it in music without hard work/dedication then you're not for us. If you understand that respect is earned and yours gets ours then please don't respond.
If this sounds like something you'd not be interested in but would like to talk yourself up to me only to not put any work into it (let alone show up), please email me--
FLAKEY SINGER WANTED (RHETORIC, CA)
Date: 2012-05-01, 2:46PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a looking for a female singer who is not dedicated, doesn't write lyrics, has kids/husband (psycho boyfriends are ok), flakes out on practice 20 minutes before (24 hours will work too) and sounds like gwen stefani (because there are no other good female singers to be compared to and all your friends tell you you sound like her). If you stomp your little feet and try to run this band, you should definitely respond.
We are easy-going
experienced, love what we do, are completely dedicated, will work with you on scheduling practices/shows/recording/photoshoots/etc. even though you have no intention of taking the band seriously and will most likely cancel to go shopping or do your bff's hair.We are looking to go all the way and realize this is a business-nothing personal. If you can take constructive criticism and can hold your own-this isn't for you.
If you understand that no one makes it in music without hard work/dedication then you're not for us. If you understand that respect is earned and yours gets ours then please don't respond.
If this sounds like something you'd not be interested in but would like to talk yourself up to me only to not put any work into it (let alone show up), please email me--
- Status
