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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

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#265
Ehhh... made me laugh here at work at around 5:30 am lol.

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[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Guitar and drummer looking for bass and vocaallllssss (hillsdale, il)

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Date: 2012-04-16, 7:03PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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We got a guitarist and a drummer annnd no one else. huge huge large big enormous problem. we want to be an alternative indie whatever band. no country, its icky, no screamo, its ear shattering. maybe metal. we're cool with that. we are both the age of 17. we dont care how old you are, as long as youre not any age above yea. no rapists please. its happened before. we dont want that again. if interested, hit us up on the email or text 309-428-5336 oooorrrrrr 309-798-6668, yea, thats right, three 6's.

•Location: hillsdale, il
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2962266154
 
#266
Found this ad this morning

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

bass player wanted for meloncholly rock trio..must NOT be lactose intolerant. Must have extensive knowledge of the universe and all of its meaning. Must understand and appreciate under achieving as well. if this sounds cool email bob.
 
#267
Sixpack324 said:
Found this ad this morning

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

bass player wanted for meloncholly rock trio..must NOT be lactose intolerant. Must have extensive knowledge of the universe and all of its meaning. Must understand and appreciate under achieving as well. if this sounds cool email bob.
Click to expand...

milk sniveling galacto-douche-nozzles need only apply
 
#269
reposted for whatshisface


I'm starting a very specific-genre band. It involves a lot of screaming and/or showing off and/or the word "core" in the name, so you know I'm a serious musician. INfluences include the Doom-death-doomies, Nat King Cole, and the music from Yo Gabba Gabba. I have lots of experience with music as I just picked up the guitar yesterday. I'm looking for people between the age of 25 and 25.76 years old. NO OLDIES OR YOUG KIDS OUTISD ETHIS REANGE WILL BE CONSIDERED!!

I am in need of a bassist, a drummer, a tambourineist, a flugel horn player, a robot, and a slice of pizza. YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO BEING YOU'RE OWN EQUIPMENT AND IT MUST BE OF PROFESSIONAL QUALITY! ANYONE WHO BRINGS A COMBO AMP OR AN INSTRUMENT THAT COSTS UNDER $600 WILL BE IMMEDIATELY ASKED TO LEAVE, AND I WILL CHARGE YOU MONEY FOR MY TIME!

You must be fully devoted to this band. Even though you don't know me and I don't know you, I will not consider people who are going to half-ass this. You will be expected to give me custody of your children as collateral and proof of your commitment to the band. NO DRAMA OR DRUGS OR EGOS OR PEOPLE BETTER THAN OR WORSE THAN ME!

You will be expected to be under my complete supervision and jurisdiction at all times at a band practice. You must only play what I tell you you can play, exactly when I tell you you can play it or YOUR WASTING MY TIME!

I look forward to reading your 10 page essay, detailing exactly why you deserve to be in my band. NO EGOS OR DRUGS OR CATS OR RAINBOWS OR GOLFERS OR CAB DRIVERS, PLEASE!

Peace
 
#273
INTP said:
The CL ad is gone, but the videos are still available:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iJP4sSuv0U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc4jJKPJSGk
Click to expand...

D-bag in the above videos just recently bought the bass he is playing (in those two videos), in what is quite possibly the two worst bass playing youtube video in planet earth. The guitar in question......$4000:eek: See links below for the original for sale ad, followed by the original sale's ad youtube video demo. You can see the new owner, DoubleOfunk1, chime in with a comment about how he is new owner of the bass. DoubleOfunk1 is the d-bag in the two videos above. How does a guy with absolutely ZERO talent spend $4000 on a bass. Confusing.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
WATSON GUITARS 6 String, Headless, Fanned Fret (Serial #08B024) - YouTube
 
#277
busmandan said:
Someone who lives with his mom and has no financial responsibilities.

That guy is also famous around here for putting all of his gear up for sale on Craigslist every couple of months.
Click to expand...

Not trying to sound too naive here.....but does this guy really live with his mother? From the outward appearance of your comment, it seems like you have personally ran into this guy. His youtube video def seemed kinda bedroomish...or studio apartmentish. The mom thing makes perfect sense.

Tell you what, if I had a 50 something year old sibling still living at home and they came home with a $4000 bass......OH MAN, I don't know what I would do. I can't fathom a response because I would be sooo pissed off. Hey maybe the guy is taking care of his elderly mother or something like that. If so, kudos. Maybe it's one of those weird mamma's boy relationships. Who knows. Either way, 50 something and still living at home is weird. I am sure given his current living situation (and awesome funk bass ability) he HAS to be a chic magnet.
 
#278
LothrtheTerribl said:
Hello, I am Uber Mensch. Read Nietzsche and you'll know what it means.

My experience has taught me that people who quote Nietzsche either:

A. Have never actually read Nietzsche but know that he was a "rebel" and have Googled a few of his quotes.

or

B. Have read some of his works, absolutely don't get them, but pick out a couple of bits and pieces that they think sound cool.

Kevin Kline's character in "A Fish Called Wanda" is the perfect personification of this special brand of douche nozzle.

Either this ad is indeed sharp satire, or it is the equivalent of a drunk girl standing on a chair in the middle of the room flashing her cans essentially screaming, "Hey, everybody, look at me!!!"
Click to expand...

Agree :) I studied philosophy and I know Nietzsche fairly well...He is one of my favourites....But I don`t feel like running around quoting him haha :)
 
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