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Dumb Craig's List Ads pt.4: Dumber and Dumbest

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OK, so the whole ad isn't bad but I found this one typo funny:

guitar and bass needed for metal band (kcmo/gladstone area)
"hey! we are a heavy band looking for a bass player and a guitar player that can do lead and maybe some rhythm. we are influenced by: avenged sevenfold, pant era, megadeth, metallica, black sabbath, guns n roses, and so much more... right now we have a drummer, a singer, and a guitar player... we have good gear, and have some awesome originals already written, and are planning on going all original. we are planning on going somewhere with this. we are looking for people in the ages of 16-20. hope to hear from you. thanks for looking. call/text brad 816-877-XXXX. or email to this ad. put "band" in the subject box so i know its not spam"

pant era? Was that before or after the dress era?
 
Hmmm....

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band gear cheap/breathalizers 2 - $1 (mpls)

(snip)

"I also have 2 new in the box never used breathalizers(alcohawk)with extra tips,these things are great when your playing a gig(don't want that dwi)here 60.00 in stores i got them for40.00 each"
 
Just noticed one for this thread. I don't know which is more off-putting. Acoustic spelled with 2 C's or guitar spelled with a Q. (He/she did manage to spell guitar correctly in the body of the message.)

New Accoustic/Electric Bass Quitar - $99

New Accoustic/Bass guitar. Excellent condition. Brand name SKY.

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This one's been up for a week or so (with pic)...gotta admire the optimism, given his price -


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Huge box full of guitar cords - $70 (bako)
I have a huge box full of guitar cords...different lengths...long and short up to 20 ft long. Plus some other cords music related. $70obo
text xxxxxxx
 
My own humble contribution...

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Enjoy...!

(with pix-) Bass acoustic mexican mariachi guitarron - $600 (hinesburg)

this is a handmade mexican 6 string mariachi bass. a guitarron that i carried back from Paracho Mexico in 1998.
fitted hard case and extra strings included.
barely played. mother of pearl and wood inlays. striped edging. gorgeous detail all around.
I put it in storage still strung and the bridge came unglued.
easy fix.
it is a thing of handcrafted beauty.
some insect holes in the soundboard that happened shortly after I got it home
(i think mexican stowaways in the wood!)
could be easily patched and covered.
A wonderful instrument i'm reluctantly liquidating to finance another project.
it's really cool.
 
Half honest niceguy, all scamming douche. I suggest everyone ask him a bunch of questions via text.

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Hey all, I'm selling my rickenbacker bass guitar for $500, GREAT condition, like new, no dents, no scratches at all!!!! Neck is straight and electronic are perfect. I mean this thing is perfect. Absolutley nothing wrong with it! Beautiful rare blue azureglo finish. Now you're asking yourself why am I selling so cheap an its cause I'm not sure if this is a real rick or a chinese one cause I'm no expert and you'll be taking a risk but they usually go for 1500 and up so I think $500 is fair for both of us. I mean thats $1000 dollars off for heaven sake!! And if it is you hit the jackpot! But please don't ask me a bunch of questions!! And either way it plays gracefully and has a nice rick growl to it. You just have to play it!!! If interested please text me at 818 582 1200, and again please be aware you are taking a risk and don't waste my time asking me a whole bunch of questions. Thanks!!

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EDIT:

So he's got a new ad already, still playing the ambiguity thing.

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Okay first things first, apparently craigslist is filled with experts on judging bass guitars from a few pictures and called my ric a fake. That's your opinion. Thats why im posting it as a copy. It still looks, feels, and plays like a ric so stop judging. Rare blue azureglo finish. It's in great condition and works perfect. Even if it is a Chinese one they are pretty valuable themselves. $500. Looks beautiful and and plays great. Its got a set in neck as well. Don't know a lot about it so dont ask a bunch of questions please. And if you reply to me with criticism and insults again I will report you for harassment so don't waste you time. Either way this bass is beautifully crafted!! So all you ******** who talk sh*t about it don't know what you're talking about cause you haven't even looked at it in person or played it so shut up. If interested please text me at 818 582 1200 thanks!!
 
Okay, this one's pretty funny.

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Air guitar with stand - $575 (Woodlands)

This guitar was used by Jimi Hendrix himself!! 1969 Woodstock.. Main stage.. In his hands.. With the air guitar at his fingertips along with world. Rocked the faces of millions with this beautiful guitar. He threw I into the crowed an my father caught it and now handed it down to me. But! I ran into some financial issues and now must sell this piece of American history. 575 or best offer. Comes with a guitar stand. Will sell separately if needed. Make an offer. Thanks.
 
Hooray, I think we finally found our perfect drummer....

Drummer looking for a band
Hello
I'm a drummer and looking for a band. I go to school, work at a hospital and stay at Monterey Park, CA.
I'm looking for preferably something fast (punk rock for an example) or independent rock music.
I'm not really into metal or modern day hardcore bands (suicide silence for an example) but
if you guys play something good and original I'll consider it.
I've never played in a band as a drummer but I consider my self average, I know some music theory
I can keep a beat and that's all that really matter when you go down to it. ...Uh, no it isn't

By the way, I don't have a car and my drum set is in Chino (60 mi away) so you're gonna have to work with
(besides drummer are hard to find so this is not so bad : P)...Uh, yes it is..
Cheers : D my number is (626) xxx-xxxx

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I'm encouraged that kids are still trying to hook up and find some musical chemistry. I figured that was extinct and they were just leveraging iPad apps to simulate musical collaboration. Good for you, Entitlement Generation! You keep building those "real person" relationships - in a few years you may have enough practice in human communication to interview for a job and move out of your Mother's basement!
 
How to make a cheap bass even cheaper

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My Main Squeeze Bass.
This solid body electric bass guitar has been custom carved with a through-the-body leather covered
cut out hand grip near the bridge and a carved and leather covered hand grip on the top horn.
A golden heart is carved above the bridge and below the pick-up.
I'm not sure what company originally manufactured this bass but it should be adjusted for play;
the strings are about a half inch above the fret board.

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