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Embarrassing Moments

#21
When I was about 8 yo I closed my eyes to give my mom a kiss goodbye on the cheak, somehow I got trned around adn after a few seconds of waiting for her to give m her cheek I looked up and say I was staring at my Male friend Joleba.

sigh...
Jonathan
 
#22
Also, junior year in college. Psychology class of about 80 people. 7:45AM class :( My professor had a rule that if 2 or less people were sleeping it was just because they were tired, if 3 or more were sleeping its probably because he was boring.

Sitting in the front he noticed that about 1/2 the people were asleep. It was the day after a big race that most of them went to and got drunk. he was talking and said "I wonder what would wake them up".

Under my breath I said "I know what would wake them up." he heard me and asked what it would be.

I said, make monkey noises, slam the desk, jump on top of it and screech. So, he started acking like a monkey...kind of.

Wwell let me tell you I do a great impression of a monkey, and I did it. Full out.

N one sat next to me the rest of the semester :D
 
#23
Mon Rominee said:
I went to the beach with my sisters and Mom when I was 4 or 5-ish. <snip> So I dropped trou, climbed up and took a dump in a urinal. What made it worse / embarrassing looking back was an older gentleman walking in and witnessing it and promptly walking back out.
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Hah ha, that's great. However, 4 or 5 is way too young to be embarrassed by anything. I remember wondering about those 'toilets' on the walls too though I didn't go into as much of an investigation as you did. I also suspect that the older gent knew what was up, you being so young and all. If it'd been me (being the older guy) I'd have at least asked you if you knew what a toilet was.

All the great embarassing moments involve BM's, I think it's in the rule book somewhere. This isn't my story but rather an ex-gf's. She was in NY for some conference or other and decided to take a walk through central park. She's dressed to the nines, and is smokin' hot. About halfway through her walk she has a sudden BM urge that can't be argued with. Must've been that extra loaded coney she got from a street vendor. Anyway, she hightails it into the bushes since she doesn't know where a bathroom might be and it is *that* urgent. She drops trou, squats and lets out a huge wet steamy load pile along with a loud sigh of utter relief. Just then she notices a homeless guy RIGHT NEXT TO HER. He'd been sleeping in the bushes and woke up for the show. She clenches up with a shocked deer in the headlights look of course. The guy gives her a big scruffy toothless smile and says "Don't stop on my account". Needless to say she got out of there post-haste.
bolt.gif

She's told this story to several people so I'm not betraying a trust or anything. Whenever she tells it she kind of laughs/cries at the same time which is almost as funny as the story itself.
 
#24
I have so many...though the most memorable was from 8th grade. It was our graduation dance and the past 3 months I was really hitting it off with this girl I just met through another friends. We were best friends in weeks of meeting and just spent a lot time together and all that. Well at this dance, I knew she was going to be there so I go up to her. Look her in the eye and just dropped dead. I was going to ask her to the dance, instead I ended up saying how beautiful her eyes were, but it wasn't in any way smooth. Kind of stumbling in my cracking voice tripping on my shoe lace kind of moment.

Well skip a few days and we're at the dance, and the slow songs come on. Every one I would go outside and sit with the other shy guys and we would joke about how lame dancing was and such. Comes the last song of the night she walks out and drags me by the collar into the gym. Tells me to put my arms around her and dance. Well I was shy, and kept my hands high, a bit too high. Turns out my thumb was on her chest basically all night. I did this through high school for a bit till our Sophomore year winter ball when she took my hands and put them on her hips. She said to me "You know we can't have you making grabs at me if I'm dancing in a wedding dress". In my attempts to be a gentlemen I ended up touching her nipples without even knowing... We're still a happy couple to this day :p
 
#26
Submerged up to my chin in liquified cow manure and making fun of Bill Cosby while he was sitting right behind me with his family, as I went into details about an affair he was having are two that come to mind. I've got others, like the first monkey incident.
 
#27
KeithBMI said:
I was at this water park when I was very young... Probably about 8 or 9.

There was this huge bucket... 100 feet in the air... That would fill up with water over a period of time and pour down on the kids. The sheer force of the water could knock you on your ass.

Well... The water came down and took my trunks off.

Pretty embarrassing. :(
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We have a similar thing at a small "water park" at our swim club and the exact same thing happened to my son (11 years old) last Sunday. The water came down his back as he was running under the bucket and the force of the water slid his suit down his butt. He at least reacted VERY quickly and grabbed his suit before it came completely down and only ended up doing a brief mooning. He took it OK and we both laughed it off.
 
#29
Okay, this one still gets talked about amongst my friends and family. 6 years ago, I got invited to a keg party for a friend of mine's graduation. He introduced me to a girl that had graduated with him, and we were hanging out all night. I hadn't eaten anything all day, and didn't have as high a tolerence for alcohol as I do now. Needless to say, I puked...on myself and the girl I had just met...and uttered the 5 words that everyone still laughs at whenever we go out drinking..."When did I eat carrots?"
 
#30
We were playing a Halloween gig with some of our friends bands. Everyone in a band was dressed up, with the other two bands having coordinated their costumes to some degree and actually putting some effort into it. We just dressed up individually (me as partly cloudy with a 50% chance of rain).

As we are thanking the crowd/plugging the bands coming up next is when I did something stupid. In my mind, I thought I was saying "Stick around for some finely dressed gentlemen"...instead it came out as "Stick around for some better bands". That evoked some laughs from the other bands (as well as some good natured ribbing afterwards), an "Oh **** did I just say that?" look on my face, with my bandmates staring at me lke this: :eek:. Needless to say I was :hiding: the rest of the night out of embarassment.
 
#35
When I was in college I spent my summers working at a resort area and my first two summers I developed an "intimate" relationship with one of my co-workers, whom I thought of as a lot of fun to spend time with but not really serious. During the rest of the year I would occasionally get letters from her just saying HI and keeping in touch but for some reason I never wrote back (probably because I was in a serious relationship with the woman I married later that spring.

Then in the summer, my new wife and I both decided to work at the same resort and a few days after we arrived, my old girlfriend saw me while my wife was about 50 feet away talking to someone else and she ran up to me and gave me a big hug and kiss and said "I was hoping we could get back to where we left off last summer" right as my wife caught up to me.

So I introduced them and I said "[Wife's name] this is [Old girlfriend's name], [Old girlfriend's name] meet [Wife's name] followed by the most awkward words I've ever had to say. She's...my........wife. :hiding:


My former girlfriend looked like I just punched her in the gut and then hid her face and hurried away. I felt like such a turd.
 
#36
My sister was around 12, which would have put me at 17, she was learning to waterski. She jumped the wake after spending all day trying to get up on the skis, and the results were SO predictable...

Yup, she gave herself a 25-knot enema!!! :eek: :D :D

So the guy driving the boat came around to retrieve her, and she had a peculiar look on her face. He asked if she was OK, that was a big wipeout! She replied yes, weakly, and he tried to heave her into the boat. She wasn't having any of that though! She said she wanted to try again, so he shrugged and gave her the handle. As he increased power, she came up out of the water, then the "rooster tail" started. And it were brown, of a fashion...

She looked horrified, and thankfully just let go, and sank into the water. She kept waving us off, and started swimming towards the shore. When I told the driver what happened, he started laughing, and tossed her a lifering...

"What am I supposed to do with this? Sit on it?"

I about died of embarrassment on her behalf!
 
#38
One night, I was really hungry and went to a burger joint. I ordered two burgers and two fries and waited. After some time, the woman behind the counter put the two fries in a bag and sat them in front of me. I stood there and waited for the burgers. I was really hungry and the fries smelled so good, I opened the bag and started pulling them out and nibbling at them. One by one, I ate the fries while I waited for the two burgers. This went on, fry after fry. After standing around for what seemed like forever, I had finished the first whole bag of fries.

The delinquent burgers were really starting to tick me off. My wait had been long but I'm a patient guy. I would give them a little more time. I started nibbling at the second bag of fries. The girl behind the counter was giving me strange looks. I stared right back at her and gave her an annoyed "Where are my stinkin' burgers?" look.

Still standing at the counter waiting for my burgers, I worked on the second bag of fries. I paced myself so I would at least have some fries to go with my burgers. I ate them slowly one by one. Gradually, the bag become more empty. Finally, after a long agonizing wait, I finished my last fry out of the second bag. I had now slowly eaten two whole bags of fries while standing at the order counter. It had been a long time. "Where are my burgers?!" I thought.

I pulled the empty fries bag out of the bigger bag to throw it away. When I removed it, it revealed two burgers at the bottom of my bigger bag. OMG! :eek: They had been there the whole time. I felt about six inches tall. I headed for the door. And it took forever to get to the door (when you're six inches tall, your legs are only about three inches long :D).
 
#39
casualmadness said:
I was in junior high. We were in the library for study hour (which in my school meant social hour). I had fallen head over heals for one girl in my class (can't remember her name anymore) but back then I was certain that she was the soul mate I had longed for. Anyway, she sat at a four person table with two other girls. I eyed the empty seat as I had eyed her for so long. I finally worked up the nerve to go over and sit down with them.

Now, everyone knew that I liked her. But I had never done anything asbout it. So when I approached the table, her friends began to giggle and snicker and point and generally do thier duties as friends of the object of my affection to make my moment as awkward as possible. Plus, I was a boy. So they were contractually obligated by the National Organization of Mean Little Girls to torture me to no end. But I digress...

I pulled the empty seat out and poured myself into it with a very suave and charming..."h-hey." I could see the stars in her eyes. Marveled at my obvious command of the English language and my mastery of greetign the opposite sex, she replied with a very matter of factly, "hey."

"What next?" I panicked..."The ice is supposed to be broken. We should be discussing children's names by now," I thought. But the silence was deafening.

So in standard casualmadness fashion, I began a series of whitty observations and antectdotes. I would win her with humor. Surely she would see how witty and clever I was and this would be my in.

My humor tactic worked mastrerfully. I had these girls laughing so hard that if they would have been drinking milk, it surely would have been pouring from thier noses. They were laughing, they were chortling, they were reduced to teary eyed blobs of comedic bliss. And since they were laughing (and since I was actaully pretty funny) I was also laughing.

And then it happened...somehow a sneeze snuck it's way into my laughing. I never felt it coming on, the way one usually feels a sneeze coming on. It was just as sudden as a deer in the middle of the street. I never had a chance to cover my mouth.

This sneeze was a particually violent one. From the bowels of my deepest parts I felt this one coming with the force of a tornado. And it seemed to split it's force between my mouth and my nose. The majority, sadly, went to my nose. And out it went carrying lots and lots of snot...all over the table, in front of three giggling girls, one of whom I was sure I would spend eternity with.

Their cries of "ewww" and "gross!" were heard throughout the entire school building. The only thing that I could do was put my head down and cover myself with my arms.

I'm talking about a lot of snot here folks. Much more than you are probably imagining...:hmm:

She never spoke to me again. My friends and classmates didn't allow me to live that one down for quite some time. Thankfully I started high school the following year.
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I have a similar story... it is embarissing and puts me in a bad mood being how it happened about a month ago (can't beleive its been that long since school ended for me.) but this story ends with me and my friends drinking a bunch of soda and watching spinal tap while they all slowly get removed from my house by there parents.

So to start off i went to a charter school in 7th and 8th grade (been a month now since 8th grade ended.) and this charter school is made up of kids from different schools in the district so i probably won't see most of them again. So anyway there is this lovely girl in my class whom I had a crush on all year and in the last six weeks of school we get seat rearrangements in class and i get sat right next to her. So being unable to do anything besides hey like Mr. Madness above me i resorted to humor. And thank god her and I shared a great love for movies such as zoolander and anchorman and other such movies that we would talk and quote those movies during class while trying to avoid our evil science teacher here us. And we would also talk about other things and what not and I'm not sure if she was aware of my crush on her (though girls seem to have some weird 6th sense so i know she probably did.) Well last day of school came and I was going to ask her out which is the most nerve wrecking thing i've ever done (I lack confidence in everything except music so :hmm:). Well i wussed out but a friend of mine was there to deliver the message if i couldn't. He did. I was unware that he did until one of her friends (this average height curly brown haired boy who everyone thought was a "perfect child" type person)... and wrote some threats to me concerning that. So yeah that got me all pissed off. And i spent the rest of the day hiding earphones under my long hair and listen to music trying to block out the real world while i see her friends all crowded together shooting looks at me and then chuckling to themsleves. But then i went home and got ridiculued by my friends on the bus for being a wuss (which was the typical way to forget my problems.) we went up to a private pool club i go to bashed each others heads in ate pizza drowned ourselves in soda then went back to my house and watched spinal tap... probably one of the most embarrassing days of my life... though not quite as humorus as some of the others here.
 

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