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Embarrassing Moments
- Thread starter heroincredible
- Start date
5th grade play, sweat pants and a girl I'm attracted to. Well since my classmate Rusty was changing still I'm standing on stage at "attention" for at least a minute before he comes running on stage so I can exit stage right even. Man...that was AWFUL.
Make it Funky,
Hashbrown
Make it Funky,
Hashbrown
Ahahaha... thats not to bad... see how it can be a bit embarissing at the time.... Summer, Speedo girls on swim team in tight suits... and where is the proud man maki?
this was definitely embarrassing for me even though i don't know if i was the only one who noticed. you guys can probably put this together....sleep over+ ten or more teenagers who are asleep+ parents of the home could of woken up+ me in boxers w/o being buttoned up+ hitting puberty+ morning "you know what"+ me waking up and going WHOA!+ cover myself with a blanket. then i went back to sleep.
So in highschool, I was in marching band. Back in 99, the school still HAD THE SAME UNIFORMS FROM WHEN IT WAS FORMED IN THE 70's.
So needless to say, they weren't the best. Long story short, my first show in Uniform, was marching across the 50, and the pants dropped. Basically mooning the rival school.
Next day, the county had its Board of Education meeting, they push through a vote for $10,000 dollars to go with what we had saved up and they had been workin on for years, and get new uniforms for the next year.
I joked my butt was worth 10 Grand through the rest of school.
So needless to say, they weren't the best. Long story short, my first show in Uniform, was marching across the 50, and the pants dropped. Basically mooning the rival school.
Next day, the county had its Board of Education meeting, they push through a vote for $10,000 dollars to go with what we had saved up and they had been workin on for years, and get new uniforms for the next year.
I joked my butt was worth 10 Grand through the rest of school.
A couple of years back, I was in a book store with a girl I was dating. I was looking at some Fender encyclopedia, and I guess she got bored and wandered off. I got through looking, and went to look for her. Found her in the fiction section reading. She had her back to me.
At least, I thought it was her. Nondescript jeans, black t-shirt. Black, wavy hair. I figured "Hey, I know that be-hind anywhere!" So, I crept up from behind, wrapped my arms around her, and firmly planted both hands on her boobal region.
It was then that I realized something was wrong. There was a significant amount of boobage missing... Uh oh.
Needless to say, she (not my ex) turns around, looking super-mad. I spat out "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," while turning multiple shades of red. I saw the ex a couple of aisles away and booked it, appologizing all the while.
That chick was NOT happy.
At least, I thought it was her. Nondescript jeans, black t-shirt. Black, wavy hair. I figured "Hey, I know that be-hind anywhere!" So, I crept up from behind, wrapped my arms around her, and firmly planted both hands on her boobal region.
It was then that I realized something was wrong. There was a significant amount of boobage missing... Uh oh.
Needless to say, she (not my ex) turns around, looking super-mad. I spat out "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," while turning multiple shades of red. I saw the ex a couple of aisles away and booked it, appologizing all the while.
That chick was NOT happy.
This morning I'm grocery shopping. I'm at the back of the store where the dairy and meat stuff is. Carry On My Wayward Son comes on the sound system. So I'm singing in my head. Then when the bridge plays I silently mouth the words.
Carry on,
You will always remember
Carry on,
None can equal the spender
Now your life's no longer eemptyyyyyyyyy
Surely Heaven waits fooor youuuuuuuuuu
Or at least I thought I was just mouthing it until I realized that I was belting it out and everyone in view was looking at me. One probably 70ish lady was bobbing her head.
Carry on,
You will always remember
Carry on,
None can equal the spender
Now your life's no longer eemptyyyyyyyyy
Surely Heaven waits fooor youuuuuuuuuu
Or at least I thought I was just mouthing it until I realized that I was belting it out and everyone in view was looking at me. One probably 70ish lady was bobbing her head.
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Yes, sounds familiar to me. Many times my "inside my head" voice was not quite inside my head.
Or anytime I've asked a buddy how long his wife has been pregnant (and she wasn't). Oops!
Or anytime I've asked a buddy how long his wife has been pregnant (and she wasn't). Oops!
At least I can carry a tune. So there was that.
I've done the pregnant question actually to the woman who wasn't pregnant once. Only once. That will never ever happen again.
My first wife put on a lot of weight and a total stranger rubbed her stomach and asked, "When are you due?" The response was, "Get your hand off me. I am not pregnant and even if I was, what makes you think you can touch my stomach?"
A friend of mine took me to a jam at one of the old black blues clubs that we still had in Houston in the 90's.
He's Chinese and I'm white. Not a big deal, our blues scene was open and I knew most of the old guys there as well as many of the patrons.
We get up to play. At this point in time, I'm pushing maximum density, probably weighing 350ish. I'm wearing shorts.
Just as we get ready to count off the first tune , an old black woman, who looks to be about 85, says loudly, "OOH HONEY, YOU SURE GOT SOME BIG, PRETTY LEGS!". The whole place erupts in laughter.........
I'm pretty sure I was still red when we finished the set 30 minutes later.
He's Chinese and I'm white. Not a big deal, our blues scene was open and I knew most of the old guys there as well as many of the patrons.
We get up to play. At this point in time, I'm pushing maximum density, probably weighing 350ish. I'm wearing shorts.
Just as we get ready to count off the first tune , an old black woman, who looks to be about 85, says loudly, "OOH HONEY, YOU SURE GOT SOME BIG, PRETTY LEGS!". The whole place erupts in laughter.........
I'm pretty sure I was still red when we finished the set 30 minutes later.
In the early '80s I was working as a mailman in a small Pennsylvania town called Palmyra. I had a lot of "adventures" carrying mail, but here's one that popped up in my mind as pretty embarrassing:
One of the addresses on my mail route was a rental property. The house was rented by two members of the Hershey Bears, an American Hockey League team. One of the guys was a rising star named Geoff Courtnall, who later played in the NHL with the Boston Bruins and several other teams. But he was still lighting the lamp for the Hershey Bears back then. The other guy's name was Brad Palmer.
They were both real nice, and we'd talk hockey when we ran into each other. I had a rather embarrassing situation one wintry day.
I had just put their mail in their mailbox (which was on their porch), and had turned and started walking back to the street to go to the next house. All of a sudden, someone yelled, "Hey Jeff!" I stopped and turned around to see who was calling me when I slipped on the ice. My feet went right out from under me, and I landed on my ass rather unceremoniously.
Geoff Courtnall was the one who had called to me. He had a hockey stick for my young son, signed by most of the Bears. As he handed me the stick, I said, "Damn, Geoff. Of all people for me to take a header in front of, it had to be somebody who makes their LIVING on the ice!" He started laughing, then said, "Don't worry about that. I've taken some falls in MY day, too! That one was actually pretty graceful."
One of the addresses on my mail route was a rental property. The house was rented by two members of the Hershey Bears, an American Hockey League team. One of the guys was a rising star named Geoff Courtnall, who later played in the NHL with the Boston Bruins and several other teams. But he was still lighting the lamp for the Hershey Bears back then. The other guy's name was Brad Palmer.
They were both real nice, and we'd talk hockey when we ran into each other. I had a rather embarrassing situation one wintry day.
I had just put their mail in their mailbox (which was on their porch), and had turned and started walking back to the street to go to the next house. All of a sudden, someone yelled, "Hey Jeff!" I stopped and turned around to see who was calling me when I slipped on the ice. My feet went right out from under me, and I landed on my ass rather unceremoniously.
Geoff Courtnall was the one who had called to me. He had a hockey stick for my young son, signed by most of the Bears. As he handed me the stick, I said, "Damn, Geoff. Of all people for me to take a header in front of, it had to be somebody who makes their LIVING on the ice!" He started laughing, then said, "Don't worry about that. I've taken some falls in MY day, too! That one was actually pretty graceful."
I used to have a condo in an old mill building that had been renovated. It was five stories high, so there were a couple of elevators.
There was this gorgeous/smart/funny woman that lived in the building. We exchanged hellos and small talk whenever we'd run into each other in the lobby. I was hoping to ask her out on a date at some point.
One day I was heading out and pressed the button for the elevator. When the door opened, it was obvious that the last rider had broken wind-deadly, foul, day-old Taco Bell, all-encompassing flatulence. The car was empty, so I got in for the quick ride down to the lobby.
You know where this is going. As soon as the car stopped on the ground floor, the door opened and there was the woman, waiting to go up. The stench was still hanging in the car. For an instant, I thought of saying something like "that wasn't me" but I just ignored it. We said our hellos and into the car she went. I never did get that date.
There was this gorgeous/smart/funny woman that lived in the building. We exchanged hellos and small talk whenever we'd run into each other in the lobby. I was hoping to ask her out on a date at some point.
One day I was heading out and pressed the button for the elevator. When the door opened, it was obvious that the last rider had broken wind-deadly, foul, day-old Taco Bell, all-encompassing flatulence. The car was empty, so I got in for the quick ride down to the lobby.
You know where this is going. As soon as the car stopped on the ground floor, the door opened and there was the woman, waiting to go up. The stench was still hanging in the car. For an instant, I thought of saying something like "that wasn't me" but I just ignored it. We said our hellos and into the car she went. I never did get that date.
A few weeks ago I was in the grocery store when I saw this beautiful toddler in a cart. Dark hair in cornrows and beads. I said to the mother "Your daughter is beautiful!" She said, "It's a boy, but thank you anyway." I apologized and she said "People make that mistake all the time." But I still felt like an idiot. You can't make assumptions.
Changing trains in Paris at rush hour I had dosed off and awoken abruptly by my family say dad hurry we need to get off and while carry to large suitcase I step off into space when I forgot we were on the second level of the train and ended up at the bottom near the door and everyone was trying to get out to make there connection
I got ticked and throw the suitcase out on the the platform got up and walked out
my wife and kids were dying laughing I had a good laugh myself afterward
I got ticked and throw the suitcase out on the the platform got up and walked out
my wife and kids were dying laughing I had a good laugh myself afterward
That's what we do here at TB. Thread "ends" in 2008. Then it begins again in 2022 as if 2008 were 9 a.m. yesterday.
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