I joined a cover band last year and over time I've stopped enjoying my time with the band. A few months ago I auditioned for and joined an established tribute band and am much happier playing music that's focused. We're starting to gig with the new lineup and it's fun and is elevating my playing. The tribute band sounds great whereas the cover band doesn't. The cover band has done some open mics but I didn't enjoy them because we sounded bad. In over a year I've improved but the band hasn't and I'm dreading rehearsals at this point.
I've finally accepted that I need to quit. It's not fair to them to string them along. We have one commitment in a month, which I will honor. Originally I'd planned to do the gig, then tell everyone at the next rehearsal afterwards so as not to bring everyone down beforehand, or immediately afterwards. But after this week's rehearsal I realized I can't put on a happy face for over a month, especially since they're talking about trying to perform more this summer. I need to nip things in the bud.
We are scattered so it's a burden to get everyone together just tobreak up with them. We just see each other at rehearsals. So, I have a few questions about the etiquette of quitting.
1. I am thinking of asking the band leader to talk on the phone over the weekend so I can start with him. I keep reading that you should tell the whole band at once but something says it will be worse to blindside him. One member is emotionally immature and is likely to take it badly, and I don't want what I hope is a short, friendly announcement to devolve into guilt tripping or otherwise managing her feelings. (She was the only member who had a issue with my joining another band and seems to think that we all have to swear an oath of loyalty or something.) I think thr band leader can help with that if he already knows my news. I thought we could talk through how he wants to handle letting the others know.
2. I have real reasons for quitting, several, but I want to keep it simple and also kind. Should I just "blame" it on the increasing demands of my new band? The truth is, even if that fell apart tomorrow I wouldn't want to go back to this cover band. I'm a little worried about using this reason since I want to pursue other band work (either another tribute or an originals band) so the "too busy" reasoning is going to look odd if i find time suddenly for something else (we're all connected on social media).
3. Related to 2, I've thought of telling them that I don't want to be in a cover band, because the musical styles are too scattered (in our case this is true) and I dont like a lot of standard cover tunes. However, I'm already talking to someone about a concept cover band (narrower genre, one I like) so that also seems dishonest.
I may be unnecessarily agonizing over this. I have trouble leaving things even when they're obviously not working out. They're good people and I've enjoyed a lot of aspects, but it's not happening for me musically. Any pointers?
I've finally accepted that I need to quit. It's not fair to them to string them along. We have one commitment in a month, which I will honor. Originally I'd planned to do the gig, then tell everyone at the next rehearsal afterwards so as not to bring everyone down beforehand, or immediately afterwards. But after this week's rehearsal I realized I can't put on a happy face for over a month, especially since they're talking about trying to perform more this summer. I need to nip things in the bud.
We are scattered so it's a burden to get everyone together just tobreak up with them. We just see each other at rehearsals. So, I have a few questions about the etiquette of quitting.
1. I am thinking of asking the band leader to talk on the phone over the weekend so I can start with him. I keep reading that you should tell the whole band at once but something says it will be worse to blindside him. One member is emotionally immature and is likely to take it badly, and I don't want what I hope is a short, friendly announcement to devolve into guilt tripping or otherwise managing her feelings. (She was the only member who had a issue with my joining another band and seems to think that we all have to swear an oath of loyalty or something.) I think thr band leader can help with that if he already knows my news. I thought we could talk through how he wants to handle letting the others know.
2. I have real reasons for quitting, several, but I want to keep it simple and also kind. Should I just "blame" it on the increasing demands of my new band? The truth is, even if that fell apart tomorrow I wouldn't want to go back to this cover band. I'm a little worried about using this reason since I want to pursue other band work (either another tribute or an originals band) so the "too busy" reasoning is going to look odd if i find time suddenly for something else (we're all connected on social media).
3. Related to 2, I've thought of telling them that I don't want to be in a cover band, because the musical styles are too scattered (in our case this is true) and I dont like a lot of standard cover tunes. However, I'm already talking to someone about a concept cover band (narrower genre, one I like) so that also seems dishonest.
I may be unnecessarily agonizing over this. I have trouble leaving things even when they're obviously not working out. They're good people and I've enjoyed a lot of aspects, but it's not happening for me musically. Any pointers?
