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Ever regretted letting someone sit in?

roccobass

roccobass

Still funkin’ in the free world.
Supporting Member
Jun 25, 2014
10,398
295,455
California
#1
Haven’t seen a similar post on TB.
I’m sure you’ve all had at least one instance of “OMG, this was a bad idea”.

Mine was back in the late 80s. The BL had a friend who asked him to ask me. That should have clued me in to his character. Normally, I get asked directly by the player. This guy had a ‘tude already. But I like the BL, so against my better judgment, I agreed.

He lasted one song. In less than 5 minutes, he was sloppy all over the song and knocked over cymbal stand in which one on legs kicked up and pierced the bottom speaker of my 2x12. Thankfully the BL pulled him off stage before I did. Also no damage to my bass. We find out later he on a Qualudde or something like that along with drinking.

The BL pulls him aside and presses him to make good on the damage. At that point, he and I had to hit the restroom right then. We came out to find the dude gone, but he had shoved a $20 bill in hole of the speaker before he bailed. The BL is now pissed too.

The next day he picks me up and we both go over to the jerk’s house. Mommy answers the door. She has this sad look on her face that made me feel bad. This wasn’t the first time she’s had “visitors” call on her son. Thankfully, the BL knows the mom and explains why we need to see him. She then insists on covering for the son. It was only 60 more bucks more to pay for a reconing, but still. It was awkward for me.

To this day, I occasionally see the guy at gigs and concerts and he looks away quickly. What a schmuck!
 
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#3
roccobass said:
Haven’t seen a similar post on TB.
I’m sure you’ve all had at least one instance of “OMG, this was a bad idea”.

Mine was back in the late 80s. The BL had a friend who asked him to ask me. That should have clued me in to his character. Normally, I get asked directly by the player. This guy had a ‘tude already. But I like the BL, so against my better judgment, I agreed.

He lasted one song. In less than 5 minutes, he was sloppy all over the song and knocked over cymbal stand in which one on legs kicked up and pierced the bottom speaker of my 2x12. Thankfully the BL pulled him off stage before I did. Also no damage to my bass. We find out later he on a Qualudde or something like that along with drinking.

The BL pulls him aside and presses him to make good on the damage. At that point, he and I had to hit the restroom right then. We came out to find the dude gone, but he had shoved a $20 bill in hole of the speaker before he bailed. The BL is now pissed too.

The next day he picks me up and we both go over to the jerk’s house. Mommy answers the door. She has this sad look on her face that made me feel bad. This wasn’t the first time she’s had “visitors” call on her son. Thankfully, the BL knows the mom and explains why we need to see him. She then insists on covering for the son. It was only 60 more bucks more to pay for a reconing, but still. It was awkward for me.

To this day, I occasionally see the guy at gigs and concerts and he looks away quickly. What a schmuck!
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I was house bassist at a blues jam early 2000's, the singer was great but liked to imbibe a bit too much at times. He called up a drummer who was REALLY bad and amateurish right near the end of the afternoon and then walked off the stage to places unknown, the last song is coming up and I wanted to end sounding good so I called up the regular house drummer, the singer runs up onstage from where ever he was and came close to pounding me although I did stand my ground. I believe that was the last time he played with us. I have apologized to him for my part even though I still feel that I did what was right but he seems to still carry a resentment to this day.

BTW, what's a BL? Big Leader?
 
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#7
i don't recall ever having regrets. if it did happen = probably because the cat showed me up...schooled me! :wideyed: :laugh:

sometimes there would be a sit-in 'event' at family/wedding style gigs where jr.'s dad paid for all of it and wanted to see jr. be the star for minute...makes sense to me --- all in good fun, not a problem. also, no one wants to play a fretless EB unless they play fretless EB, IME. almost all of those sit-ins brought their own ax (e.g., bass, guitar, horn). i can't remember bad experiences with people sitting in --- the music may have gone sideways when the performances weren't up to snuff, but no biggie, part of the fun....

in a lot of club work, however, in a lot of places: letting someone sit-in is a sign of respect (and you get a break...and maybe a lesson!).

usually, i saw it as a time to get a little break, refresh my beverage. ;) ergo, no regrets.
 
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#8
One of my cardinal rules is, no one gets up on the stage unless you know exactly what they intend to do.

Couple years ago the GP says that he has a friend who has always wanted to play with a band, and can she sit in with us on tambourine? I voted no but was out-voted. Well, this woman couldn’t keep time with a stopwatch. She was horrible. I suffered through one song, hoping that would be it. But no, now that she had tasted show business, she refused to leave the bandstand and finished the set with us. I don’t know, four or five songs, but it was an eternity. At the break I put my foot down, no more tambourine.

Another time, with another band, we played a benefit for Hurricane Katrina relief. This one guy from the audience wasn’t satisfied with the dollars going into the collection box, so he asked if he could have an open mic to make an appeal. Big mistake. He cussed out and berated the audience, making them and us extremely uncomfortable. Another violation of cardinal rule #1. Memorize it, and enforce it.
 
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#13
Ostie said:
One of my cardinal rules is, no one gets up on the stage unless you know exactly what they intend to do.

Couple years ago the GP says that he has a friend who has always wanted to play with a band, and can she sit in with us on tambourine? I voted no but was out-voted. Well, this woman couldn’t keep time with a stopwatch. She was horrible. I suffered through one song, hoping that would be it. But no, now that she had tasted show business, she refused to leave the bandstand and finished the set with us. I don’t know, four or five songs, but it was an eternity. At the break I put my foot down, no more tambourine.
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We had a guy like that. He was friends with the BL/guitar player (I think they got high together). He started introducing the band, and then he started doing hand-held percussion, and then he started locating himself closer to the stage. My guitar player kept telling him that he had "natural rhythm," but he only had natural rhythm in the same way that any 6-year-old had, having learned how to walk already. He did not have a sense of timing, and he had no idea when his contributions were actually appropriate or not. I made points with some audience members when I gave him the throat-cut stop signal. Unfortunately I had to do that at a couple different gigs. Finally I got through to the BL that it was not an acceptable situation. Not for me, not for the band, and not for the audience.

Ostie said:
Another time, with another band, we played a benefit for Hurricane Katrina relief. This one guy from the audience wasn’t satisfied with the dollars going into the collection box, so he asked if he could have an open mic to make an appeal. Big mistake. He cussed out and berated the audience, making them and us extremely uncomfortable. Another violation of cardinal rule #1. Memorize it, and enforce it.
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Covid has made it easy to deny anyone that request. "Sorry, we don't share our microphones."
 
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#15
I regret it most every time. A lot of times the person will go to some other than me to ask about it. One instance I walked by the rest of the band on break and I hear a guy say "oh, and I promise not to hurt your bass..." Other issues are sweaty hands clogging up my strings, clumsy people tripping over my gear in the floor, or watching the guy whip out a pick and start wailing away on my bass.
 
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#18
arbiterusa said:
The only people I have ever let sit in are people who I play with anyway. Guys who everyone in the band knows. Never unknowns. So I’ve never had cause to regret it. I’ve seen it go real bad when due diligence is not used.
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It’s usually my MO too. I took the BL’s word on my fiasco, and he he regretted too. Sometimes it just happens.
 
#20
I've been house bass player in two or three blues jams and usually they're fun, every once in a while they're not though, it really depends on how the BL :laugh: run the jam. If someone is falling behind or ruinging it you smile and let them play a song pr two
LBS-bass said:
And there you go with the abbreviations. Had supper yet?
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Some nurses used to give MgSO4 instead of MSO4 by mistake, BIG mistake, never mind that MS. ;)
 
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