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Experiment: Let's write a (TB) story!

:eek: remove two nasty virusses from his computer :eek: and grow many, many different kinds of vegetable, at different heights. He also experimented with the genetical structure of some vegetables. Rumours go that some of his cauliflower creations are harvesting carrots while singing in the rain. There's no footage yet. Hymie's brains are in a constant state of overheating as a consequence of eating modded mushrooms. They say, that those mushrooms can kill a cow by only licking them. Let alone eating them boiled in a hot-spring. In his brains RED HOUR has been raging for many years. Why would someone talk about Hymie anyway?
 
Maybe because he also grew a special kind of tree. Basses built from its wood sounded like rolling thunder. No other wood in the known universe could match the musical qualities of Hymie-wood. It needs no explanation that he had manipulated the trees as well. They grew litterally skyhigh and acommodated some very stange species of...
 
Bass bugs. Apparently only a few people, belonging to the so called inner circle, knew about this nasty little bug. Officially it didn't exist. It may have evolved by feeding on lice from the leaves of this modified tree. Once bitten by a bass bug, one observes alternating colours, like from a light show. It doesn't stop for the next two years. No glasses, no medicine to cure it. Only a few victims survived. Rose being one of them...
 
And this, because Rose had become very friendly with the mystery woman who had shared the train compartment with Earl earlier in the story.

Remember, the mystery woman was very beautiful, and from Samarkand. The knowledge of how to cure the bass bug affliction was known in this part of the world for many centuries, but unlike the many spices and other exotic things that had traveled along The Silk Road, this cure had remained in the East.

It was during Rose's recuperation from the bass bug disease that the doctors realized something about Rose: she was born with a rare gift - she was immune to many diseases; a kind of Typhoid Mary in reverse. A transfusion from Rose would almost certainly bring those afflicted back to the prime of health.

But Rose had been told by the woman from Samarkand to keep this secret to herself, and to only help those who were very sick. This was not out of selfishness, but out of the knowledge that this almost miraculous ability to cure certain diseases would eventually corrupt Rose absolutely.

Rose had kept her promise to the mystery woman.

Rose received a message from the mystery woman that she wanted to meet her in three days.

Rose thought it would be a nice gesture on her part if she brought a pie, and a pair of stirrups as gifts for the mystery woman.

Rose now planned a shopping spree, and the best place to shop was...
-------------------------------------------------------------
Some of you may have been wondering what the mystery woman looks like after reading her description in post #74.
Well here she is. More beautiful than Helen Of Troy.
26d5fbf4.jpg
 
Omar's Tent Factory.

Pulling up to the factory in her newly acquired 1961 Cadillac Coupe De Ville with zebra skin seats and a deer mouse mounted on the hood, Rose scanned the parking lot for a good place to park.

Just then a Amazonian speckled finch landed on her shoulder and asked Rose "Have you ever thought about mutual funds?"

As she was about to answer the mystery woman walked out from behind a tree.

The Finch remarked "She's beautiful for a blind woman. What? You mean she wore that on purpose? Is she related to Dido?"
 
Rose was greeted with a warm welcome from Omar, as she had known him for many years.

"What can I help my beautiful Rose find today?" asked Omar.

"I need a set of stirrups for a friend," said Rose.

"Why, do you wish to stir up trouble?" Omar asked with a smile revealing every line on his weathered face. Rose also remembered that Omar came in last at the Transoxiana comedy festival a few years back. Omar was a good guy, but a comedian not.

"I am sorry, Rose, but we do not have any stirrups at this time," Omar told Rose.

Rose was a bit disappointed, but after thinking for a moment realized that the stirrups weren't such a good gift idea for her beautiful friend. Rose wandered through the aisles of Omar's establishment, which covered four square miles. It even had a small airfield at one end.

Largest store in the world, Macy's? I think not!

Rose now found herself in the perfume aisle, "Yes, a nice fragrance would be a much better gift for my friend." Rose thought to herself.

She asked the girl behind the counter what was the sweetest fragrance they had, the girl replied, "Try this."

The girl handed her a pale blue bottle with a pointed top.

Rose removed the top, and was treated to the sweetest, most appealing odor she had ever smelled.

Rose asked the girl what was this fragrance called, the girl answered, "Eu du Amu Darya."

Rose remembered that the Amu Darya was one of the rivers that flowed through Transoxiana.

"I'll take it," said Rose.

Rose took her purchase, bade farewell to Omar, and left his shop.

Now, onto buy a pie.

Just down the street was Pauly's Pie Parlor.

Rose entered, and immediately saw the pie she would buy.

All the other fruits must now lay prostrate in submission before this pie!

Concede Cherry; Relinquish Raspberry; Give up Grape; Yield Yam; Surrender...

"ENOUGH !!!" Rose yelled at the author. "Whoever heard of a grape pie anyway?"

I apologized to Rose. :p

Rose picked up a perfect pomegranate pie.

"How much is this, Pauly?"

Pauly held his hand to his ear as if he hadn't heard Rose.

"How much is this pie?"

Pauly mad the same gesture.

"What is the value of pie?" Rose tried to rephrase her question.

Pauly quickly replied, "About 3.14."

It was then that Rose remembered that Pauly was Omar's partner in their failed attempt at the comedy festival.

Rose paid for the pie, then left the store.

She had a few more errands to do...
 
Crossing the busy street she gave the price of the pie an extra thought. :hmm: "It's circular, it's name sounds like the Greek letter π, so 3.14 wasn't coincidental." On the other side of the road she stopped near the flower shop. "EXOTIC FLOWERS", the sign read. An enchanting scent came out of a window. In fact, what she smelled was so compelling...
 
...that the pie dropped forgotten from her fingers to land with a satisfying splat on the ground beside her where it was immediately set upon by a small and hitherto unknown species of miniature ginger haired monkeys who seemed to be fighting amongst themselves, shouting in strange Scottish accents and were surrounded by a distinctive aroma that was best described as "o de Glenfiddich".
The events happening at her feet were completely lost on Rose however and accompanied by a receding chorus of "haw you that's ma bevvy" "this is a braw pie" and a fading "anyone fancy a curry!" Rose stepped through the door to be met by a vista of soft furnishings, hanging silks and soft lighting in a riot of colours, the likes of which she had last seen either as a result of a particularly enjoyable smoking experience or that time she had been part of a crack raid on a local paint factory which was exploiting it's workers and she had set off a hand grenade in the store room, she couldn't quite decide which....her reverie was interrupted by a husky voice at her side and an overpowering waft of the scent which had brought her here
"would you like to try one of our wonderful lotus flowers"
it said, both the voice and the scent sliding over her senses like a silk sheet.
With a vacant smile Rose turned to see.....
 
But Kermit had no permit to speak through an artificial bird, and was arrested.

Rose now had to think about keeping her appointment with the beautiful mystery woman.

She went back to Pauly's, and got another pomegranate pie, and made sure she still had the perfume in her bag.

"Another train to catch to another city, how boring," Rose thought to herself.

Rose went to the train station, and bought her ticket.

The station was surprisingly full of people for this time of night; it took Rose a few minutes to find a place to sit. There was a kid, about 16 years old with a skateboard sitting on a bench near the great clock.

Rose asked him if she could sit there.

"Is this seat taken?," asked Rose.

The boy replied,

"Dip, dip, onion, onion, French, French,
You may indeed share the other end of my bench."

"Excuse me?" Asked Rose with surprise in her voice.

"Pretty lady, pretty lady, pretty lady so fine,
We can share this bench, it'll be yours and mine".

"Why, this poor lad has obviously been afflicted with the dreaded rhyming disease!" Rose thought to herself.

The first two rhymes were bad enough, but what if this escalates to haiku or Limericks?!?

Rose them remembered that people with this disease only spoke when spoken to, so if she didn't ask him anymore questions, he'd give her no more answers. (dip, dip)

Rose quietly sat down, and took out a magazine.
A magazine to read that is, not a magazine that holds bullets.

Why did you think that? :p

Rose began the ritual she did with every new magazine; i.e. pulling out all the lap flaps - the annoying advertisement cards stuck into the spine of every magazine.

"Grrr!, I hate these things!," Rose said in her mind.

"CLICK! CLICK!" What was this noise?

"Hold that, I just want to get one more!"

The boy with the skateboard has disappeared, and a guy with a camera had taken his place on the bench.

Rose gave the man a dirty look, but before she could say anything, the man said, "You look so beautiful when you're angry. I couldn't help but notice how pretty you looked as you were pulling those cards out of the magazine, and I couldn't let the moment pass without capturing it. May I take a few more?"

Rose was halfway to the ladies room before she even thought, "Of all the cheap, worn-out pickup lines - "You're so beautiful when you're angry! May I take a few more photos of you? First they tell you how pretty you are, then they try to get you to take your clothes off!" :mad:

Rose had heard this line dozens of times before, and it disgusted her. While Rose wasn't quite as pretty as the mysterious woman, Rose had broken a few hearts in her day, and her day was far from over.

She entered the ladies room, and splashed some water on her face; there was still almost an hour before her train was to arrive, perhaps she could pass some time by going to...
 
one of the story writers. In fact he wasn't a writer, he was a programmer. He was programming adventure games and Rose was one of the characters. The game had gone out of control lately. The characters began to develop independently. The programmer, who listens to the name BoB, was quite sure he hadn't created Big M. So BoB had developed a special utility to follow the creatures in his game, to find out more about their autonomously developing world. The train, which just left the station, had the text "Did you train today?" on it. Another detail which hadn't been created by BoB. BoB was afraid that Rose might somehow sense his presence. His utility made him appear as a non-conspiculous, very average man. What if she would make contact with him?
 
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Rose opened one eye.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

It was a little louder this time.

Rose looked at the unfamiliar clock: 9:27am

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"Someone's knocking at the door," Rose said to herself. But which door?

Rose jumped out of bed, and went to the door.
"Who is it?"

"Dimmy, enahasamethinjforyou."

"WHAT?" Rose asked with a trace of fear in her voice.

"Intsdimmy, enahasamethinjforyou. Thumb daoozbethlady"

Rose very nervously looked through the peephole. It was a young boy she did recognize, but what was his name again?

JIMMY! That's it! It was Jimmy, the messenger boy.

All Rose's fears were dismissed, and she began unlocking the first lock, and then the second. Wide she opened the door, and just as widely was she greeted by Jimmy's toothless smile. :)

Jimmy had lost his front teeth years before in a skateboarding accident.

Rose hugged Jimmy, and gave him $5.

"Thank ooo," Jimmy said, and walked away.

The strange words Rose had heard coming from the other side of the door were Jimmy saying,

"It's Jimmy, and I have a message for you. From the Uzbek lady."

"The message read: "Cannot meet you for at least a week; something unexpected has come up. Will contact you as soon as possible. Maxine is dead. signed, M."

Rose exploded into laughter.

"Maxine is dead! MAXINE IS DEAD!" Rose screamed at almost the top of her lungs while doubling over and falling on the bed.

Why was Rose laughing at the news of someone dying?

It was because no one had actually died. Maxine is dead was a code that Rose and the mysterious woman had used with each other for years; it simply meant the coffee was terrible where they were.

:rollno:

Yes, I agree with you: Rose and the mysterious woman were both very beautiful, but sometimes weird. Both on the same page.

The only familiar things Rose had seen since she woke up were Jimmy, and the message from M, the mysterious woman's nickname from here on.

But where was this room that Rose had woken up in, and how did she get here? Rose looked out the window. The street looked like a street in the middle east or central Asia.

"Am I in Uzbekistan?" Rose asked herself.

Rose wasted no more time, and quickly put on her boots, and ran out of the room counting her money, hoping she had enough to pay for the room, the room of which she knew not where it was, nor how she got there.

She went downstairs to the front desk, but there was nobody there. There was no one in the lobby. She could see into the kitchen, and there was no one there either. No time for questions. Rose booked out of there at maximum throttle.

That just meant she was walking fast.

Out in the empty streets, the same thing: Nobody. Nobody anywhere. And it was not yet 10 O'clock; a middle eastern or central Asian town would be full of people at this time of day.

She walked down the main street, and passed many shops, all empty. Rose was getting scared now, the only thing keeping her from a breakdown was the fact that she had seen, and hugged Jimmy a few moments before - he was real.

But wait...Jimmy lived in...

"QUIET ON THE SET!" A loud voice said from around a corner through a PA system.

HOLLYWOOD! Rose had remembered that Jimmy lived in Hollywood!

Rose was in Hollywood, apparently on a movie set; that's why there were no people on the streets or in the shops.

Her fears all gone now, Rose again used maximum throttle to find where she could get a cup of good Maxine.

There was a coffee shop, a real coffee shop at the end of one street.

Rose entered, and immediately saw someone she didn't want to talk to, so she ducked into a booth.

A waitress came over to her, and asked...
 
"The same recipe, cappuccino without cocoa powder?" Rose thought "How in the name of tragedy does she know my preferences?" Meanwhile BoB's probe had entered the coffee shop. BoB made him sit in a booth on the opposite side of the room. "I'll have it with everything on it, today", Rose answered the waitress, trying to behave as casual as possible. The waitress nodded slowly and...
 
BoB recognized this as a little bug. He had forgotten to program some flexibility into this game character. Should he replace the waitress by a more tolerant type? By no means in the presense of Rose. "No", he thought, "Let's observe what happens." Rose was staring at the stranger on the other side of the room. Another waitress hurried to her and asked politely: "No cocoa powder like before?" "Beats me", Rose thought. BoB went through thousands of lines of program code, as he didn't understand how this information could have been leaking through to this waitress. "I already ordered cappuccino from your colleague", she said. The waitress...
 
Then took off her apron, then her blouse, and then her skirt.

She stood there in her underwear with a vacuous look on her face. She then turned and walked robot-like around the entire Maxine shop. This naturally caught the eye of all the men there, including Bob's probe.

M had taught Rose the ability to control another person's mind years ago, and it still worked. Rose could make a person do almost anything simply by willing it.

When Bob's probe looked again, Rose was gone.

He looked at his scanner, which looked just like an i phone, but could not find the direction Rose had gone in.

Rose's mind control ability also worked as a sort of mental cloaking device. She could make a person think that she was traveling in one direction, while in fact she was traveling in another. She could also make someone think she was a different person, while standing right next to them. Modern day electronic devices were useless, as she could make the person using it see whatever information she wanted them to see or make them think their device was not working.

Rose, cautious girl that she was, still looked over her shoulder every few seconds as she used maximum throttle to put as much distance between her and the Maxine shop when...

BAM !!!

She collided with another person since she wasn't looking where she was going. Before she could regain her senses, she heard,

"Thuse me, Omthorry."

It was Jimmy! :hyper:

How fortuitous, and he had another message from M for Rose; This one read: "Situation has changed. Leave Hollywood at once. Take any train east; will contact you as soon as possible."

One of the reasons Rose and M had become such good friends, was that neither of them used abbreviations. M could have easily written, "will contact you asap," but she didn't. This made Rose smile.

I told you they were both weird. :D

Rose thanked Jimmy again, and again gave him a big hug.

Rose was now traveling at minimum cruise (walking normal speed) towards the L.A. train station.

Take any train east, the message said, so Rose bought a ticket to Barstow; if needed, she could always upgrade the ticket to go on to Needles.

The train left on time, and Rose settled in for the not-too-long journey.