First off, hopefully this is in the correct forum/thread if there is one for defeated rants. Second, this will likely sound pathetic and rant-ish, so forgive me. I'm just feeling specifically low about my music/career path at the moment and could use some wisdom if someone in the forums would be kind enough to offer it. Basically, I've invested everything I have into music. Time and money. I spent all of high school playing bass. I didn't do exceptionally well academically because I was do so much music and everything surrounding it. I played in orchestra, a couple of local bands, taught here and there, even played some musical theater gigs during senior year. I then moved from Atlanta to Boston to pursue Berklee College of Music, then realized all of the "Berklee work" was keeping me from practicing (I did get "Dean's List" during my time there). So I dropped Berklee, and am now studying exclusively under a mentor in Boston. I started practicing up to four hours a day (certainly not enough I'm sure, but for a start) and eat slept and breathed music. Yet here I am, feeling defeated to the point where I can't even pick up my bass anymore. I've never gigged more than two or three times a year. I only had one good band, which kicked me out after a year because I was "just too good", and after a couple of years decided to just join a friend's terrible band so I'd have someone to at least play with. In three years I played about 4 or 5 non-high school related shows. That's about it up until this point. At Berklee I only found one guitarist who I played with constantly, but he turned out to just be too flaky to deal with most of the time. I "jammed" with a few people and thought it went fantastically, but then I never heard back from anyone more than once. I'm very very humble, and I am typically extremely careful of over playing. I've even been told by a professional musician friend that I'm extremely personable and easy to deal with as a person. Its like I have every part of being a professional musician in the works, but yet nothing has come of it. I don't get any opportunities, and on the only time in probably a month and a half I've even had the chance to "jam", I just felt so awful about my playing and everything else that I didn't play well and got off on a typical blues, which I've been playing literally for 6 years now. I've been practicing and playing more than ever in my life and yet I don't sound half as good as people who don't even practice regularly. I signed up for an online music class while I'm home for the summer and have felt so horrible about the bass that I'm not even keeping up with that. I have wanted to be a studio musician and gigging player in Nashville for as long as I can remember, and that's why I've done everything I've done. I wanted to play and teach and exist off of that. I moved to a new region of the country and even left college now to realize that dream. People around me in the same situations have all kinds of success and I have nothing. I guess I feel like maybe being a musician isn't meant to be for me.