Finding your other half

[juggahnaught]

I've been a bit frustrated recently.

I'm unhappy with the rhythm section in my bands and in my jams. If I play bass, I feel as though I'm lacking a great drummer. I can sit in on drums and be solid (not spectacular, but solid) but then the bass player is missing. Creating a rhythm section isn't something that I can do on my own - I can play drums and I can play bass, but I can't do both at the same time. I haven't yet met that one drummer that I really gel with.

Fellow bass players - have you found your other half? Have you really found that drummer with whom you can build a solid relationship and rhythm section? Are you as one? (Is your significant other jealous of your relationship?) Most importantly, if you took a gig or changed bands or something similar, would you and your drummer move as a unit?

Share your stories! I'd like to know how you met your other half. (If they're good enough, we can create a Talkbass anthology and license the movie rights.) If you do share, please also share the style of music you play, as genres have a tendency to define thresholds (prog metal, disco, jazz, and country will all have different tolerances and expectations, so please specify how and why you locked in).

 

[geesharp]

My drummer is my high school buddy. He's also the drummer in my band, back in high school (so is my LG and my RG).
So, we go waaay back..30 years... and we never lost contact with each other. We hang out together (myself, drummer and LG) about once a month, even before we decided to get the band back together again.

Now that we play together again, we rehearse twice a month... and we still hang out together outside those rehearsal time, cause when we rehearse, we rehearse. We don't hang out afterward.

Do we play as a unit? Yes, we do. We pay attention to each other closely and we lock to each other.

Back in high school we covered Scorpions, our singer bac then has Klaus Meine's voice. He sounded just like Klaus Meine.
Now, with different singer, we play 80s and 90s rock like Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Skid Row, Deep Purple, Europe, Skid Row and we just added Audioslave to our repertoire. Heck, we even play Air Supply .. not in our song list, it's more like hey let's play just as I am ...or making love out of nothing at at all.

 

[buldog5151bass]

I've played with a number of really good drummers. One is also a good friend, we drive to gigs together.

However, if you are both the only decent drummer and only good drummer on your scene, you may have an inflated opinion of your chops (or need to find a better music scene).

 

[RustyAxe]

I play with a great drummer, but we arent exactly “in a relationship”, nor do either of us consider the other our better half. Just band mates who have musical chemistry, and highly respect each other’s contribution to the whole. Good enough for us.

 

[Polfuste]

Like RustyAxe, i play with two different drummers: one in a jazz 4tet, and another one in the Afro-ska-reggae-rock thing. These two guys are good drummers and cool guys. But they're not "my half".

 

[Wanker_Joe]

My drummer is one of my closest friends. He migrated from synths/noise to drums in my jam band around 10 years ago. Because of that, most of his exposure to the groove has been from the groove I create, which means that he can lock in with me like nobody else. He's been trained to play with me (I'm not sure he's actually played much with any other bassists in fact). He knows exactly where I'm going and how I'm getting there when it comes to the beat. It is marvelous. We are a single rhythmic unit.

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

I play with a great drummer, but we arent exactly “in a relationship”, nor do either of us consider the other our better half. Just band mates who have musical chemistry, and highly respect each other’s contribution to the whole. Good enough for us.

Ditto to this.

 

[Richard Lindsey]

But they're not "my half".

This. It's not like being married. I don't believe in there being just one drummer who's your other half. It seems too limiting to think of it that way. To me, there are just drummers who are good and whom you play well with ... and then other drummers. That doesn't mean those other drummers are bad, necessarily. Sometimes very good musicians just don't click ideally together.

 

[mrcbass]

Been very lucky to have worked with some really great drummers, especially in the past. My current jazz fusion drummer is pretty damn solid - has a few tempo kick off issues, but has great groove and timing. Still friends with a couple of drummers from previous projects who I'd work with again in a heart beat.

Unfortunately the drummer in my current paying gig (bar band scene) scene is pretty bad. He is just never gonna be good - at least he knows it. (Last week he called me to ask me what his part should be on a cover tune....). He really holds us back from being pretty damn good. Nice enough guy, but just doesn't put any real effort into getting better. He's fine on just straight ahead beat, but as soon as the kick does something besides straight up down beats or he has to use more than his snare, it's always an adventure. Allegedly uses a click track, but has an awful time kicking things off at the right tempo.

And to my chagrin, he's kind of the BL (schedules gigs, owns the PA and hosts rehearsals) so we really can't replace him.

 

[PauFerro]

Things I did...

If the guy is weak on drums, have him over to practice playing in the groove until he gets it. I did that for about 6 weeks with one drummer and to this day, he's the tightest drummer I've ever played with. Taking the other musicians out of the mix for that practice creates nothing but a bass and drums focus. The drummer listens more carefully to your beats and hits and rhythms and you become really tight.

As my choice of capable drummers expanded, my "other half" became the guy who not only played well but also books gigs. We are a gig booking duo first and musicians a close second. That's what makes our relationship work.

By the way, I'm a "swinger" when it comes to drummers -- and musicians in general. I hire whoever is right for the job. The guy who I work with mostly isn't suitable for low paid work, so I have a couple other drummers for those jobs.

 

[micguy]

I play in multiple churches, with multiple drummers at each place. I'm not in a committed, monogamous drummer/bassist relationship; apparently (using the metaphor provided by the OP) I'm just "sleeping around"
with lots of drummers. And doing it on stages in front of audiences...I'm not at all ashamed of my behavior. A lot of them are....talented (this is getting tougher to type with a "straight face"). Many of them would be "relationship worthy" in the OP's way of thinking - I guess I'm lucky.

 

[MoeTown1986]

I'm in two different bands, currently. Lucky for me, it's the same drummer in both bands. He and I have been friends since about 2002. Always were in bands that played together and we've actually been IN a band together for the last 7 years. We get along great and lock in without trying. I absolutely think he's the one for me.

 

[bassicmike]

if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

 

[DWBass]

Have not met my perfect match as yet and I've been playing a LONG time. One band, the majority of the guys just read. They just won't listen to the music to get the proper feel. The drummer has gotten a lot better over time though yet, he still reads on gigs. Guitarist is just not copping the feel of anything. BL is letting it slide seems like. My other band, drummer is the biggest culprit. Doesn't listen to the music and doesn't practice on his own....but he's the BL! Very frustrating.

 

[oldrocker]

I...

Fellow bass players - have you found your other half? Have you really found that drummer with whom you can build a solid relationship and rhythm section? Are you as one? (Is your significant other jealous of your relationship?) Most importantly, if you took a gig or changed bands or something similar, would you and your drummer move as a unit?

...

I wouldn't say we are as one but in my current band I have found a drummer that we can build a solid rhythm section and a united front on the levels of timing, tightness and beginnings and endings that the songs need to be. It was the drumming I heard on the initial shared recordings that attracted me to this band in the first place.

I have been in a bunch of bands and it had not always been the case so I am appreciating the heck out of this right now.

I am not going anywhere as long as the drummer remains in the band.

 

[saabfender]

if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

This is where I currently am. Solid guy, good player but even after playing for 7 months together we haven’t figured it out between the two of us. He’s game and so am I so things are steadily improving. The BL is spectacular so I’m determined to make it work.

The last drummer I really clicked with musically was a criminal and ripped me off. I’d never claim my life was perfect.

 

[Beej]

The drummer I play with regularly is amazing to play with. We lock in like an old glove in about 3 seconds on just about every tune. He's got a degree in composition and plays piano, so he really understands music and rhythm and we each naturally anticipate the other when playing and "both go there" all the time. The only downside is, he's a bit driven and really extroverted and is also just a touch of a dick about 25% of the time. The one thing he does that gets a little under my skin is he puts in earplugs, then pounds the crap out of his kit, and acts surprised when we point out that he's a bit loud.

 

[Ostie]

I play bass and mandolin in an acoustic trio. I also play cajon, djembe, congas etc. Almost every song we play, I wish I could play percussion on, but I can’t do both, but I can hear it in my head. We don’t want to upset the dynamic by adding a 4th, but damn, it sure would sound good to have drums with brushes or percussion on our songs.

 

[Kevan Campbell]

I can’t say I really buy into the whole “better half” idea regarding a drummer and bassist, but there are a few drummers I’ve played with over the course of my musical career thus far that I just gel with instantly onstage. There’s also a larger contingent of drummers that I’ve played with that I either play well with on one side, and on the other side there are drummers that I know I’ll have to work hard with all show long.

In my limited experience, as long as the drummer can play with great technique and dynamics the only thing that separates “good drummers” from this “better half” status is how good their hang is offstage: I’ve found the best drummers I’ve played with are people I’d love to grab a beer or coffee with anytime to just hang outside of music.

 

[juancaminos]

A few of the best I have played with were just straight ahead locked into the beat, both were very basic. One didn't even set up changes, just hung in the beat like a rock. Then there were few that subtly set up changes, but you would have to really be there. And of course the ones who are on the verge of over playing to the point where the changes was very obvious. It goes down hill from there. I gotta say that, looking back, the simple guy (who didn't set uo changes) was one of the best.