My first "big" gig ever was a train wreck. I had just graduated high school and my band was playing covers at the neighborhood block party. There were about 100 people there, most if not all of them were people I had known growing up, so it was a little nerve racking. My guitarist's string broke right before the solo of the first song, we sounded terrible, and the sound guy charged us for his equipment (it was our friends dad, who was a bit of a dick for charging his son's friends $50 to play 30 minutes) in which we lost $10 on top of the $40 the neighbors paid us. My parents eventually came out and said we were pretty bad some short time later. My friend erased the recorded footage of the show before the next morning because he was so embarrased...
But here I am years later still playing, we played another show when we got back together years later and we kicked ass. If you suck, don't quit. It's not like you'll get banned from playing shows ever again, regardless of who your audience is. You never quit when things get hard, you learn and improve.
But, some things I learned/took away from that and other shows I've played are:
-I wore sunglasses and it actually did make me feel a lot better, as I never had to look anyone square in the eye, and it helped me feel "hidden".
-If looking into the crowd makes you nervous (and you're not wearing sunglasses), remember this one tip - look at the top of people's heads, not in their eyes. It looks like you're looking out, which can seem like confidence, but you're not actually looking at people's eyes, which can trip you up
-When you go out there, even if you have stage fright, just play. I get so anxious when I'm on stage but I let the music take over. It's very empowering to get up on stage and play your music. Eminem said it best: "Lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go". It's like a roller coaster, once you're strapped in and that car starts moving there's no turning back, so you may as well enjoy the ride. Once you start playing, own it.
If you're still too nervous to let loose on stage, some others have given great tips. For one, looking down at the frets is a great way to see what you're playing without having to look out at the crowd. I've done it, and it's comforting, almost like I'm in my own little bubble. I grew out of it but to this day there are some instances where I still look down, You don't have to memorize everything because seeing how you already have the pre-show jitters you could get thrown off and may eventually look down at your frets anyways. I was at Warped Tour last night and there were some bands where some of the musicians looked down the entire show. There's no shame in it.
To end this post that is longer than I intended it to be, just go out and have fun. Everyone gets nervous, even musicians in big time bands that have been touring for 30+ years. I guarantee you that the feeling you will have on the stage and after the show will make up for any of the pre-show jitters haha. And if it doesn't go as well as you'd like it to, don't give up!
My first gig, I was a nervous wreck, but after the first 3 or four songs, I settled in. Playing music live has helped me tremendously with my anxiety in public, particularly where I am the focus and having demonstrate or speak.
