Forgiveness = Freedom

[Bloodhammer]

I usually forgive someone after I hear that something awful has happened to them because of their own recklessness and/or stupidity. Usually that forgiveness comes in the form of sardonic laughter.

I used to wait like a spider for revenge, but I've never had to do anything to anyone that they weren't perfectly capable of doing to themselves. Knowing that is almost kind of like forgiveness...

 

[MatticusMania]

Ah, alright. That makes a lot of sense. So far I agree with everything but the last bit of the final line:

"Forgiveness is, in essence, the acknowledgment inside of yourself that the person who has wronged you in some way is a fallible human being - and that, like a human being, they made a mistake worthy of your forgiveness."

Definitely something worth thinking about though.

To me, the acknowledgement that we humans are fallible and capable of causing great grievences to one another gives me cause to also forgive. I harken back to my ex, who hurt me more than any other human ever has... I forgive her for it, shes just another lost person in this world incapable of seeing beyond her own vision, incapable of acting beyond her own desires, like so many other people in this world. I forgive her, and I move on feeling better for it; and though I forgive her, we certainly have not reconciled, she was not given back the place in my life she once held.

 

[Simo98]

I don't understand grudges.

I guess nobody have ever pissed me off enough for me to need to hold one.

 

[slobake]

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds."

Bob Marley - Redemption Song

 

[MatticusMania]

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds."

Bob Marley - Redemption Song

I love that song, and especially that line from it!
In fact, I used it a week or two in another thread, but in regards to a different situation entirely.
Funny how it can be so applicable.

 

[bassinplace]

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds."

Bob Marley - Redemption Song

That's pretty great, alright.

 

[slobake]

I love that song, and especially that line from it!
In fact, I used it a week or two in another thread, but in regards to a different situation entirely.
Funny how it can be so applicable.

Some of my best inspiration comes from you. I think I remember that.

 

[Bright Midnight]

As you think,so you become.

I used to HATE my dad with every bone in my body, I'm 33 now, 2 kids and twice seperated from their mother. I'm not entirely guilty of our breakups, but at least half of it is. I have always kept myself hung on the bad vibes that came to me, and never forgave the people that sent them my way. In the end all I did was judge them and made my own grave doing so.

But yeah, forgiving is sometimes hard in real life... We digg our own graves.

 

[MatticusMania]

Some of my best inspiration comes from you.

"I am another you. You are another me."

 

[MatticusMania]

But yeah, forgiving is sometimes hard in real life...

It is definitely not always easy. The larger the transgresssion, the more difficult it can be to forgive.
I can picture some scenarios in which it might not be possible for some people to forgive another.

 

[pocketgroove]

You know, that makes a lot of sense. I've really been struggling lately with questions of anger and forgiveness, and it seems that the more you try to maintain a grudge and make someone conscious of your feelings toward them, the less happy and at peace you are. To live with that much of a focus on anger and vengeance, well, it poisons your perspective on life and sucks the sweetness out of the good moments.

 

[UncleFluffy]

You know, that makes a lot of sense. I've really been struggling lately with questions of anger and forgiveness, and it seems that the more you try to maintain a grudge and make someone conscious of your feelings toward them, the less happy and at peace you are. To live with that much of a focus on anger and vengeance, well, it poisons your perspective on life and sucks the sweetness out of the good moments.

You're effectively continuing to do their work for them long after they've gone off to ruin someone else's day/life. And that's just, well, ...


Here's a Zen story that's not about forgiveness, but about a different side of the same mental coin:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired “Is something the matter, you seem very upset?”

The junior monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The senior monk replied, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still.”

 

[emblymouse]

Forgiveness begins at home. As Mose Allison says, "Thank God for self love".

 

[Bright Midnight]

A funny thing about grudges is that the longer you hold on to them the weaker they make you, eventhough 'the grudge' may have you feeling 'strong' in a way. I've experienced this through and through, and it ate away enough of my own integrity to poison what was left, until I myself became an angry and pitiful person. Forgiving is powerful, but 'forgetting' is also likewise powerful. Life is not bound by what we see, feel, smell or hear, it has a much larger scale. The mind however clings to what it remembers and builds up the future out of that remembering. You can forgive someone, but to really start anew is to let go even of those life changeing memories.

Sorry if I went a little deep, just felt like it

 

[Bloodhammer]

You're effectively continuing to do their work for them long after they've gone off to ruin someone else's day/life. And that's just, well, ...

I've been on the other side of this. I was in line at a drive-thru and the driver of the car ahead of me didn't notice that the line had moved up a couple of cars. I waited and waited. Finally, I gave my horn a quick tap just to let this person know that the line was moving.

She in the car ahead (I found out it was a very large older woman who had a face like dried out leather) completely flipped out! She started yelling obscenities and waving her middle fingers out the window and challenging my manhood. She continued cussing to herself after she was satisfied that I was too much of a wussy to get out of my truck and fight her (she never made any attempt to get out of her car - I suppose that I was expected to go beat her head in through her open car window.....) and it just seemed to me that I must have completely ruined her day! I mean, what a performance!

I was shocked at first and I didn't yell anything back because I was speechless. But for some reason it really cracked me up once I processed what insanity was going on ahead of me! I wonder if she could sense me smirking......

I wasn't even upset - surprised, definitely - but it didn't shake me up at all. She, on the other hand, probably stayed pissed off the rest of the day. I went home that afternoon feeling pleased with myself that I could cause that much mayhem with such a small gesture.

 

[stratovani]

Forgive..... but never ever forget!

 

[Mysterion]

You're effectively continuing to do their work for them long after they've gone off to ruin someone else's day/life. And that's just, well, ...


Here's a Zen story that's not about forgiveness, but about a different side of the same mental coin:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired “Is something the matter, you seem very upset?”

The junior monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The senior monk replied, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still.”

Funny: Years ago, I shared this parable with a good friend and workmate. Ever after, when I would get overworked about some meaningless inanity or slight at work, he would look at me seriously and remind me: "Put the woman down." Among a certain circle--including Mrs. Mysterion--it's become accepted shorthand.

 

[MJ5150]

Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

-Mike

 

[MAJOR METAL]

"Deep in thought I forgive everyone"- Thirty-Three

 

[capnsandwich]

Unforgiveness can cause all sorts of problems, both mentally and physically. So many people I see with severe mental issues have been hurt somehow and haven't been able to let the hurt go. It'll eat at you if you don't release it. No one can change the past but you can choose to forgive and let those things that have happened to you never affect you negatively again.

Forgiveness=freedom, that's downright biblical. (not trying to bring religion into this, mind you, just stating a fact)