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Funny Travel Stories?

I'll start.
For several years starting when I was still in high school we used to play in NY in the city pretty regularly. And I was from Atlanta. We didn't have a lot of money and we were pretty dumb but also pretty fearless.
Every time we came to play CB's or other club in town we stayed at the Seafarers International House which is a Lutheran hostel mission type flop house that mostly caters to merchant sailors and transitional homeless but also has a niche appeal to European travelers.

So that means it smells weird and the beds are too small and everyone (EVERYONE) sounds like Popeye cartoons!
One trip we had a night between shows and there was a pretty good snow storm and we were stuck without much to do. And the place was packed with Scandinavian and Russian sailors (who, not judging, all seemed to be wearing sweatpants without underwear, just hard not to notice). So imagine a really dank lobby with the only TV in the building and wall to wall men cussing and BS-ing in Popeye voices with their junk all pokey. And 4 stupid teenage punks from the south, all basically stuck for the night.

Solution? Send a couple dudes to the liquor store and whip out the couple acoustic guitars we had in the van and spend about 3 hours poorly playing and singing Rolling Stones songs. These guys didn't know a word of English except the F-bomb and we didn't know any Swedish or Russian (except the F-bomb is universal) but every one of these guys knew every Stones song we could play.
Best night ever! You can't always get what you want. But we got what we needed.
 
Not amps smoking. But way out of the norm road warrior misadventures. C'mon, share those real-life Spinal Tap kinda moments. Have you ever lived Frank Zappa's 200 Motels? That's what I'm talking about. Make us laugh while we're making it through the pandemic! It only hurts once, then it's a funny story.
No wild road stories, but my first band certainly had some relatable Spinal Tap experiences:
- We went through at least a 1/2 dozen drummers before settling on one that was a good fit (none lost to a bizarre gardening accident.)
- The girlfriend of one of our early drummers thought she should have a say in all band decisions. Needless to say, that didn't fly.;)

Personal funny experiences?
- Yes, I did forget to turn off my lavalier mic when using the bathroom during a presentation.:rollno:
- I walked out of the bathroom during a conference with a long stream of toilet paper stuck to my shoe.:whistle:
 
Ok. I’ll go again.

So we were playing in this college town in South GA and our guitarist decided he was too busy to help with the load in. Probably fixing his hair. So after we finally get him late to sound check and we grab dinner and hit the hotel for a bit.

Annnnd...
When we show up at the gig with our bass and guitars in hand, sort of.

Someone, non sure who but it rhymes with “the bassist” took his main guitar out of the case and stuck it under a bed. So poofy-hair opens his main axe case and it’s a hair dryer and some sneakers. He about soiled his pants! Had to play the gig without his favorite pointy headstock! Don’t mess with the rhythm section. Ever.
 
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In the summer of 1976 we got stuck at the bottom of the Eel River above Meyer’s Flat so we had to unload the truck and spend the night down there with the equipment scattered along the rocks.
In the morning about 20 people showed up and pushed us out of the slime pit and up the hill. The trip was Seattle or bust; we went bust. But at least Bigfoot or a flood didn’t get us.:woot:
 
I did have one sort of "road adventure - well before my bass career. Not really funny, but a few anecdotes.

In the mid 80s, I was hanging with a drummer buddy who was in a gigging band. I kind of informally roadied for him for a month or so and I somehow got to play congas with them at one gig - no pay, just having fun. That summer, they did a gig in San Francisco, opening for Buddy Guy. I didn't get along very well with the very arrogant BL and for what ever reason, I wasn't even allowed to help the drummer load in - I wasn't welcome in the facility at all. I suspect it had to do with the promoter figuring someone was just trying to get in the show for free, but I never really knew full details. Going with the flow, I just hung out in the van while they did their show. I'm probably glad I really had no idea who Buddy Guy was.

This was the first leg of the weekend road trip. We lodged at someone's house somewhere in the Petaluma (I think) area and the next day we headed to Cotati, CA to meet Dickie Peterson, bass player for Blue Cheer. Apparently the BL had some connection with him and we (they) jammed with Dickie for an hour or so at his ranch. It was kind of cool to meet someone of note, and he was pretty down to earth. Probably didn't appreciate the meet as much as I would under my current situation.

All I remember from there is that I had to drive my buddy's VW bus home because he had had too much fun and I was somehow still capable of getting us home (probably not well advised), but I am here to tell the story.
 
I was headed for an instrument makers convention in Tucson, one cold night, and was too tired to drive further, so I looked for a cheap motel, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep, then press on.

This was somewhere in Nevada, I can’t recall where... not much of a town, but I remember the motel was $27/night. Very cold, and parking virtually non-existent... just enough space to get off the highway.

Obviously, at that price, the place was a real pit... barely clean, but I carried all my instruments inside, safe from freezing, and headed off to sleep.

I noticed that the bed had heavy plastic, sheathing the mattress, and only the sheet between the plastic and me, and it gradually dawned on me what that room “usually” was used for in Nevada: not sleeping. (“Ah, well... get some sleep and get out...”)

But as I tried to relax, I began to feel “something” crawling on my legs, and I feared I had become bedbug bait, so I whipped back the covers, rolled out and flipped on the light. No bugs at all!

Turned out the cold dry weather and the plastic sheath under the sheet had combined to produce quite a static charge: the “crawling” I had felt was every single hair on both legs standing out straight, from the static electricity.

I didn’t sleep well, but I finally did sleep. No more $27 rooms, after that.
 
I was headed for an instrument makers convention in Tucson, one cold night, and was too tired to drive further, so I looked for a cheap motel, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep, then press on.

This was somewhere in Nevada, I can’t recall where... not much of a town, but I remember the motel was $27/night. Very cold, and parking virtually non-existent... just enough space to get off the highway.

Obviously, at that price, the place was a real pit... barely clean, but I carried all my instruments inside, safe from freezing, and headed off to sleep.

I noticed that the bed had heavy plastic, sheathing the mattress, and only the sheet between the plastic and me, and it gradually dawned on me what that room “usually” was used for in Nevada: not sleeping. (“Ah, well... get some sleep and get out...”)

But as I tried to relax, I began to feel “something” crawling on my legs, and I feared I had become bedbug bait, so I whipped back the covers, rolled out and flipped on the light. No bugs at all!

Turned out the cold dry weather and the plastic sheath under the sheet had combined to produce quite a static charge: the “crawling” I had felt was every single hair on both legs standing out straight, from the static electricity.

I didn’t sleep well, but I finally did sleep. No more $27 rooms, after that.
You got a great deal! That room is normally $27 an hour, and you got it for the whole night!
 
Some of the motels that I stayed in had the funny characteristic of being recently updated on the cheap.

In one motel, the bathroom was so tiny that the door would hit the toilet every time you closed the door. Not super funny on its own, but after a gig and a little drinking, it was just hilarious to us.

I also stayed in a motel where the TV was stuck in "showroom display" mode so this logo and banner kept crawling across the screen listing the TV's features.

We once checked in to our rooms in a motel, and it was one of those motels where the desk clerk is also the cleaning person and maintenance person. The motel seemed to be a ghost town except for a few cars, but when we arrived after the gig, it looked like a Hell's Angels conference due to the insane amount of bikers and motorcycles.
 
This isn't music-related, but 15 years ago I drove from New York to Detroit, and decided to be extra cheap since I didn't have my wife and kids with me. Outside Youngstown, Ohio, I stayed at an Econo Lodge which was on the property of a giant, hardcore truck stop.
There was one of those "totem pole"-style signs which can be seen from miles away on the highway, and it looked like this:

ADULT BOOKSTORE

GENTLEMAN'S CLUB

MASSAGE PARLOR

ECONO LODGE

The carpet in my room smelled like it hadn't been vacuumed or washed in 20 years, and all night I heard doors opening and closing around me. But it was cheap!! :) :thumbsup:
 
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