Put it this way. There were many things that really offended me about the drummer's reply, and I don't know if he realizes that this is how it came off, but it doesn't actually have much to do with whether or not *I* personally want a rig or whether or not I'M able to spend >$1000 on such things. (Wiling, yes. Able, not yet.)
1. The total dismissal of my stupid shoulder (Which granted, has gotten better, but I want to KEEP it better, ya dig?!). Granted, I don't have a doctor telling me not to lift x number of pounds because I have not had health care in seven years. (Yeah I know...) BUT, I have ME telling me, "Hey, when you lift heavy things, it hurts, so don't do it." But really. Enough. If I may digress, I spent most of my time as a camera assistant in the film industry, feeling almost constant aches and pains...to the point where I thought something was wrong with me, like mono or something. Turns out my body was completely overworked, almost all the time and it killed me. So, I f@#ing refuse to put myself through that level of hell if I can avoid it....especially with something I love doing so much.
1a. I will eventually pay what I have to in order to save myself pain and possible surgery or a life-long injury.
2. The biggest disservice I did to myself in my previous Life Of Carrying Heavy Things™ is that I pushed through and lifted all that heavy camera gear anyway because I thought I "had" to in order to get/keep the job. How many guys on the crew ever offered to help me carry anything, versus how many stood by and commented on how impressive it was that I could lift it by myself, not realizing what a strain it was? Man, what the @#$ is wrong with people?! So, we have two offenses: the brush-off of my shoulder issue, and the implication that Oh Yeah, No Problem, I Can Just Handle All Of This By Myself. Which is clearly false.
3. For those of you telling me to play piccolo, I'll tell you where you can put that piccolo, and I mean no offense to piccolo players, but not a thing is gonna keep me from my bass. You could cut off one of my arms tomorrow and I would still find a way!
3a. Even so, for all the compromising and bending over backwards that *I'm* willing to do, that I CONSTANTLY do just because I'm a nice person...there was no a single mention of, "we can help you out and carry things if need be." You know, it would be nice...it would be really nice.
Not to sound like a princess...simply that I feel like when it comes to good band chemistry, people should help each other out. If I can't lift something heavy, I carry all the annoying light things that are hard to keep track of, or I lend a flashlight, or a tuner, or I help wrap cables. I do what I can and I do it all the time. So why can't they?! Third offense: not a single mention of meeting me halfway.
4. Fourth offense: I realize I kinda set this boundary of talking gear with this guy and I realize that due to his experience as a sound guy, he does have some credibility, but I also question that credibility based on not only personal experience, but on what I've heard from others who gig a lot in this city. Quite a lot of my fellow NYC bass player friends even SAID, "Why do you need a cabinet?" I realize, yeah, I do "need" one someday, but I want to get a proper rig because *I* want to in order to make MYSELF a better/more marketable bassist. I don't want to do it because:
5. Some drummer who I've played a few rehearsals with who isn't paying me who I haven't even properly gigged with yet, seems to be telling me he knows more about my bass gear than I do and that I "should" get all these things that maybe I can't spend the money on right now or don't WANT to spend the money on right now. I'm not getting some freakin refrigerator-sized coffee table cabinet that I have to call a crane operator to get out of my damn apartment! No! It's not happening! I don't care how cheap it is! Even that Hartke, I was trying to make a list in my head of Other Things I've Lifted That Weigh 66 Pounds and guess what, I can't really think of anything, so there goes that.
I was willing to work with them at first, but they have pushed me away now. As flexible and easy-going as I try to be, I think it's also time to tighten up the screws and set some boundaries and start establishing some simple rules. And maybe the simplest one is this...and this is basically my philosophy on my career as a bassist:
"Feel free to tell me what to do. I've had people do that all my life with my "art." But at least pay me for it."
It's really that simple. Does it make me sound shallow and greedy? Whatever, dudes. I'm just saying, I'm no longer in it simply for the love of the game...I am in it to make it my life and my living. Even if/when I play for free from now on, it must be with people who think differently than this and who have a better concept of how to play "the game" that we call the music scene. So perhaps the biggest slap in the face here, is that I'm being asked to spend money on a band that I'm not even making money off of. There's simply no mention of money....just these mysterious gigs at these venues which mysteriously do not have a backline. Red flag much? Yeah.
Don't worry, I'll let them down gently...tomorrow when I've slept on it a bit. Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. Now I DO want a rig, but I want MY rig the way it works for ME...something nice and light. If I have to sell my synth to cover the costs, you know what? Maybe I'll just do that because it means I'm investing in ME as a bass player...not some thankless, broke band. This whole situation has only made me more determined to get nothing less than the best gear I could ever buy for myself. So, yeah. I'm still looking for a rig, but I'm looking so that I can be a better player and so that I can leave bands like this in the dust.