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Girlfriend /bass/ issues

#61
Your GF overstepped her boundaries telling you what to do in the home you're paying the mortgage for. If you were married the 50/50 equity in the household still doesn't mean her daughter who's enjoying a free ride has any expectations but to follow your rules and if your GF knows you're a musician then your practice time trumps daughters sleep time. I'd wake daughter up and tell her to vacuum. I agree with Gard and Bassy here, since you're the only one paying the mortgage, they both are guests. If at 19 the daughter hasn't evolved one inch from the slime that spawned her (quote Igor from Young Frankenstein), if you have any standards you know what you have to do.....and there's a saying "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
 
#64
A lot of folks are pretty bent out of shape about this.
You'd think the GF had sold a fake Ritter or something...
:hiding:

Anyway, no you're not out of line. You're due to set some boundaries. Unless, or course, the nookie is good enough and frequent enough to warrant keeping the status quo - but from the entitlement issues presented, I'm guessing that it's not. Your call, though.

Some good advice here. Having the conversation with a witness present is not a bad idea at all.
 
#65
To the OP, take a lot of the advice here with a grain of salt. Most of the posters don't live with anyone or are posting as their alter-ego tough guy because at home they probably get bossed around. :D

You have to figure out if being antogonistic will wind up making your situation worse, which I'm pretty sure it will because they will circle the wagons and team up against you. Your best course of action, and again this is my advice :D, chill out, put your ego aside, don't try to change the girl just accept her for who she is and where she's at in this moment in time.

Though theoretically you should be able to play as loud as you want in your own house, in actual practice things tend to be different when you're not the only one there and so you have to be the bigger person. This is something that I believe you can let go if you give yourself permission to and you can also come up with creative ways to nudge the girl out of slackerdom.
 
#66
Phil Smith said:
To the OP, take a lot of the advice here with a grain of salt. Most of the posters don't live with anyone or are posting as their alter-ego tough guy because at home they probably get bossed around. :D

You have to figure out if being antogonistic will wind up making your situation worse, which I'm pretty sure it will because they will circle the wagons and team up against you. Your best course of action, and again this is my advice :D, chill out, put your ego aside, don't try to change the girl just accept her for who she is and where she's at in this moment in time.

Though theoretically you should be able to play as loud as you want in your own house, in actual practice things tend to be different when you're not the only one there and so you have to be the bigger person. This is something that I believe you can let go if you give yourself permission to and you can also come up with creative ways to nudge the girl out of slackerdom.
Click to expand...

So how many years has it been since your man card was revoked..?
 
#68
irishpride28 said:
So how many years has it been since your man card was revoked..?
Click to expand...

A true sign of having power is not having to use it. Because I can do whatever I want, doesn't mean I have to. If I really have power and I have a full understanding of what it is and it's limits, I don't need to let my ego trick me into to using in situations where it's not needed.
 
#71
Phil Smith said:
A true sign of having power is not having to use it. Because I can do whatever I want, doesn't mean I have to. If I really have power and I have a full understanding of what it is and it's limits, I don't need to let my ego trick me into to using in situations where it's not needed.
Click to expand...

I understand that view, and I realize that authority is more powerful when used tastefully, but (IMO) this is a case that certainly requires serious intervention.
 
#77
Dude! Seriously, I absolutely will NOT put up with this behavior! If it was me, I'd end the relationship with the mother and put them both out! I truly don't think either of them REALLY care about you as much as you may think! My house? I do what I want, when I want! Who the hell sleeps at midday unless they're hung over or sick?!?!

Sorry but you need a wake up call!
 
#78
Buy a bigger rig, convert "daughter's" bedroom or where ever she sleeps into your practice room.
Play loud as hell, if she wakes up or her mom complains have two things ready. A stack of job applications and a GED book.

My father in-law does this crap, my sister in-law is 24 years old, she was ruining his marriage with his new wife with the drugs, drama, booze, "rape" excuses, mental illness she saw on the internet so he pays for a rather expensive big apartment in a rich sub that she'll feel "safe" shelling no doubt 1k for the lease and lord knows what else for uninsured abused medication, food, travel, and I'm sure spending cash.
I want to tell him to grow a pair but the man could probably kick my ass rather not rock the boat with someone who looks like he's about to crack and seems to have lost the will to live anyway.

He was very hard working, had the most beautiful 1 acre garden, and was always working on something productive, as of late his garden is overgrown, fish tanks uncleaned, and his health just seems a little down hill.

Kids like these need to be dropped on their asses, don't let woman and her brood drag you down. "Help" is one thing, complete dependency is another.


My sister in-law just got engaged to a jobless turd that lives with his mother has 3 DUIs and has only known her for 3 months, this ought to be the icing on the cake, I will closely monitor my father inlas to make sure this doesn't kill him.
 

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