Well, usually the answer to this should always be a very clear "no", but hear me out...
Hi everyone!
I am on the point of forming a hobby band together with some guys. We don't know each other and just responded to each others search adds. Next week we are about to meet for the third time, and I don't know how to handle the guitarist situation.
Like I said, we are forming a hobby band. We want to play some shows, but no rush. No financial goals whatsoever. It is mostly about getting together once a week to make some music and have a good time.
First meeting was just about to get to know each other. Drummer, singer, guitarist and me going out for drinks. Drummer, singer and me are hitting it off straight away and have a fun night. The guitarist comes across as a bit strange and left very early. He said that he just recently bought an electric guitar, but that he has played classical guitar for a long time. We all agreed that we were a bist skeptical, but that maybe he proved to be an interesting player because of his background.
Second meeting, now with instruments, trying to jam a few songs. From my perspective, seeing the guitarist was physically painful. He tried playing "Wake Me Up When September Ends", but couldn't get through more than one verse without stumbling over his mistakes and having to start over. He said "Paranoid" was really hard because of the "solo part during the intro" (he meant that four note climb). When he played something I couldn't figure out what he played to save my life, because not only had he no idea how to dial in his amp and especially his distortion, but he heavily bended every string when fretting a chord. He couldn't play a song because he said it was "impossible" to fret one note on third fret and another one on 6th.
And so on.
I felt sorry for the guy, because he was so clearly out of his depth and he knew it - or at least I thought so. In the end I even had the impression that he got aggressive towards me, because while he was struggling with each and every song, I could just play everything from the start (not a brag - we played nothing even remotely complex). So I said nothing, tried to be friendly and expected him to just withdraw.
Now, like I said, I don't know the other guys well, but they didn't say anything, either.
The next day, the guitarist writes in the group chat how much he enjoyed playing with us and that he looked forward to the next time. Which will be next week.
So, here is the deal: I do not have any goals that I want to achieve with this band. I am not a particularly great musician and I don't expect other people to be. But this guy is a complete beginner. I don't think it will be fun for me to watch someone struggle through his first steps on the instrument. But what do i do? If the next session will be as catastrophic, will I just say my piece at the end and see how everybody reacts? Or do I contact the singer and drummer beforehand and ask their opinion? That would feel like going behind the guitarist's back. However, I also want to avoid surprising the drummer and singer and come across as the bad guy pulling a "him or me" situation out of nowhere.
So, what to do?
Hi everyone!
I am on the point of forming a hobby band together with some guys. We don't know each other and just responded to each others search adds. Next week we are about to meet for the third time, and I don't know how to handle the guitarist situation.
Like I said, we are forming a hobby band. We want to play some shows, but no rush. No financial goals whatsoever. It is mostly about getting together once a week to make some music and have a good time.
First meeting was just about to get to know each other. Drummer, singer, guitarist and me going out for drinks. Drummer, singer and me are hitting it off straight away and have a fun night. The guitarist comes across as a bit strange and left very early. He said that he just recently bought an electric guitar, but that he has played classical guitar for a long time. We all agreed that we were a bist skeptical, but that maybe he proved to be an interesting player because of his background.
Second meeting, now with instruments, trying to jam a few songs. From my perspective, seeing the guitarist was physically painful. He tried playing "Wake Me Up When September Ends", but couldn't get through more than one verse without stumbling over his mistakes and having to start over. He said "Paranoid" was really hard because of the "solo part during the intro" (he meant that four note climb). When he played something I couldn't figure out what he played to save my life, because not only had he no idea how to dial in his amp and especially his distortion, but he heavily bended every string when fretting a chord. He couldn't play a song because he said it was "impossible" to fret one note on third fret and another one on 6th.
And so on.
I felt sorry for the guy, because he was so clearly out of his depth and he knew it - or at least I thought so. In the end I even had the impression that he got aggressive towards me, because while he was struggling with each and every song, I could just play everything from the start (not a brag - we played nothing even remotely complex). So I said nothing, tried to be friendly and expected him to just withdraw.
Now, like I said, I don't know the other guys well, but they didn't say anything, either.
The next day, the guitarist writes in the group chat how much he enjoyed playing with us and that he looked forward to the next time. Which will be next week.
So, here is the deal: I do not have any goals that I want to achieve with this band. I am not a particularly great musician and I don't expect other people to be. But this guy is a complete beginner. I don't think it will be fun for me to watch someone struggle through his first steps on the instrument. But what do i do? If the next session will be as catastrophic, will I just say my piece at the end and see how everybody reacts? Or do I contact the singer and drummer beforehand and ask their opinion? That would feel like going behind the guitarist's back. However, I also want to avoid surprising the drummer and singer and come across as the bad guy pulling a "him or me" situation out of nowhere.
So, what to do?
