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Go behind his back?
- Thread starter Micha84
- Start date
To me, "going behind his back" would be something like everyone quitting the band because of reasons and reforming it the next day without the guitar player.
Talking to the rest of the band members individually before confronting the situation as a group is what I'd do. That way you can either talk together to the problem player or you can decide that band is not what you are looking for and leave before putting any more of your time and energy into it. If I were the drummer or singer, I'd like you to tell me "before opening the can of worms" mid session.
Luckily for you, there's an over abundance of skilled guitar players.
Talking to the rest of the band members individually before confronting the situation as a group is what I'd do. That way you can either talk together to the problem player or you can decide that band is not what you are looking for and leave before putting any more of your time and energy into it. If I were the drummer or singer, I'd like you to tell me "before opening the can of worms" mid session.
Luckily for you, there's an over abundance of skilled guitar players.
You have three options:
Acting unilaterally; either quitting or dropping the guitarist without consulting the others.
Acting as a group; discussing this with the other players. This is NOT "going behind" anybody's "back".
Doing nothing.
I would choose #2 most times, unless there was alcohol or drugs involved. Life is just too short.
Acting unilaterally; either quitting or dropping the guitarist without consulting the others.
Acting as a group; discussing this with the other players. This is NOT "going behind" anybody's "back".
Doing nothing.
I would choose #2 most times, unless there was alcohol or drugs involved. Life is just too short.
I think you should have phrased it "Should I move on with the 2 out of 3 in a new startup" The answer to that is yes.
Be upfront with the guy, and say "hey, we don't think you're ready for this yet, and we are going to look for another guitar player"
Be upfront with the guy, and say "hey, we don't think you're ready for this yet, and we are going to look for another guitar player"
Exactly. Hell, I fired my brother when he wasn't working out due to not practicing.
Band is not going to work; you can get away with a crappy Bass Player but not Guitarist, Drummer or Singer [seen it a few times] 
or you can become " Classical Guitar Ensemble" if he is telling the truth
Go behind his back and get input from other 2 then make a decision or plan
Disclaimer: the above post contains 'tongue-in-cheek' content some people miss completely. It's ok
or you can become " Classical Guitar Ensemble" if he is telling the truth
Go behind his back and get input from other 2 then make a decision or plan
Disclaimer: the above post contains 'tongue-in-cheek' content some people miss completely. It's ok
Let the guitarist go or kill the band. It’s not going to work out. Talk to the singer and drummer to see if they know any guitarists. Thank the guitarist for coming out but tell him that he’s not up to speed yet. Suggest JamZone that can give him backing tracks to practice with and get better for his next attempt.
Never been in a band. Probably never will. So I have no advice. (Not any you'd want to take, anyway.)
But you should read this piece by the Tuna. It may have some advice for you.
Well, the article is stuck behind a paywall. If you want to read it, PM me. I have it saved on my computer.
hbr.org
But you should read this piece by the Tuna. It may have some advice for you.
Well, the article is stuck behind a paywall. If you want to read it, PM me. I have it saved on my computer.
The Tough Work of Turning Around a Team
Even the most talented teams can fall into a habit of poor performance. If you want to break that habit, says one of the NFL’s winningest coaches, you’d better be prepared to get in people’s faces.
hbr.org
Thank you everybody for your input. I went ahead and reached out to the drummer and singer. Both were relieved that I brought it up. They felt the same as I did and weren't sure how to go about it, either.
You're not really a band yet, so having a discussion with a couple of the other folks, and not including the guitarist is perfectly OK. Even if it's only a "hobby" band, if you cringe at everything the guy plays, you have nothing - that "band" is not going to be good enough to play in front of people, you ton't get hired more than once at any place, and you probably have no "hang", as you'll all just be constantly avoiding talking about the 6 stringed elephant in the room.
When 4 people get together to form a band, almost never are all 4 in the band a year later - that's extremely rare. You're all trying to figure out who you want to play with, and you've figured out that one is a no. That's progress, as long as the others realize it, deal with it, and move on.
When 4 people get together to form a band, almost never are all 4 in the band a year later - that's extremely rare. You're all trying to figure out who you want to play with, and you've figured out that one is a no. That's progress, as long as the others realize it, deal with it, and move on.
Probably just repeating what some have said......
Talk to other members about trying to find another guitar player.
If they agree you should, simply tell the beginner the band will be looking elsewhere.
If they want to let the guy keep trying, you have a choice. Put up with it or quit.
Jmo
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The guitarist is doing the "only play with people who are better than you" thing. That is OK if the talent/experience/commitment is at least clearing a certain bar. It doesn't sound like this is the case here. Guitarist needs to learn his instrument either on his own or with folks at a closer level to him with lots of patience. Teaching him to play will not be fun unless that was your goal form the get go. Y'all need to just let him know, as respectfully as possible, thet he is not at a place to fit in with you,
I'd vote for just trying to add someone better and see if this guy can just handle the light duty stuff or help out here and there. I think it's good to have an absolute beginner here and there (sometimes they bring a little enthusiasm) as long as he kind of knows his limits. Two guitars never hurt. And maybe the person you bring in can explain what he should try to do or teach him a thing or two. This is if you like the guy, obviously. Just say, what do you think about a second guitarist? 2 guitars better than one. Bird in the hand, even if the bird is not much of a bird.
If you sincerely think the guitarist doesn't have the required chops, you're not doing him any favours by stringing him along. I would just have a heart to heart with him and tell him that he isn't the right fit at this time. As has been previously stated, every band needs a band leader, and this is one of your responsibilities.
As a real pro once told me when I was on the road. Don't ever tolerate a WEAKEST LINK! They are a waste of time and effort. It won't get any better! Talk with the other members and get a feeling on what they think. If they don't have an opinion, then let it ride through a couple of more rehearsals. The same problems will be present. You already planted the seed. They will actually come to you IF nothing improves and you are BL? If it were me, I'd dump him now as long as you are the known BL!?
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
When I was starting out I would have stayed in any band because I wanted and needed experience. After almost fifty years I don’t have the patience to stay in a band with a beginner. He needs an instructor. If you guys want to be that person, it’s your choice. Or you can tell him to take lessons and maybe it will work out in the future.
