I have the same issues so its very common. I had 2 new players in a band of 6. Fired the new drummer last weekend due to lack of practice and progressing. I have to wait 2 weeks before I can get the band with a new drummer that we have known a while but he lives 2 hours away. The new lead guitarist is slowly learning the catalog so we are stuck in the studio most of the summer.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Guitarist had breakdown today
- Thread starter DrSpunkwater
- Start date
- Status
I may or may not go back and read the other posts in response to your thread, but anyway, at risk of being repetitive:
I can tell you with this guy would do for you, because I used to be that guy, assuming that my skills and talent would take me places professionally rather than being professional. some guys just can't get themselves to get off their f****** asses, because they 'dont have time': the thing is that nobody has time for anything, but some of us get s*** done anyway.. he is not facing the difficult decision of sacrificing a relationship to go on an international tour with ACDC, he just had to learn a handful of songs for HIS OWN BAND... as far as the out of town drummer thing ( ignoring the other issues with this guy) it's absolutely ******** of him to think that's a viable option in any way- is this guy really supposed to drive in for two and a half hours anytime you need to practice or play a gig with a band that isn't making any money yet? is he really so good that he is the only drummer option, and yet has no gigs to keep him busy wherever he is living? not to mention why wouldn't the guitarist just keep another project on the side in mind as a pipe dream in case the drummer actually becomes relevant in his life.
look, music is about having fun, sure, but if you've made the decision to be serious and invested, whether to treat music as a career, or simply for your own band to be good and tight, then you have NO time, 0%, for people who can't be motivated to do something for himself. **** that
Easy solution - Go Play/work With Someone Else, and tell your guitard friend, "no problem, let me know when youve learned the songs and are ready to gig".
We were a trio-in-the-making, been playing together about a year, and we were supposed to audition a drummer tomorrow at noon. I asked him songs he wanted to do, and he had no opinion, so I told him what the songs were, and he agreed. This was a week in advance.
Today he texts me the following:
BEGIN DRAMA
Him: "Are we still meeting with that kid on Saturday? Because I'm gonna be honest, I've been real busy this week and I don't have much of those songs down yet. I'm thinkin I'm gonna need some more time to work them out otherwise I'm gonna embarrass myself when I don't even know how to play the songs."
Note: This, after I've busted my ass all week practicing the songs.
Me: "Just learn the rhythm parts and make up the leads. It's an audition, it doesn't have to be a work of art.
Him: "Well I dunno man. I'm being serious. I really don't have them down at all. I just need more time dude."
Him: "Plus I gave it some thought and I want my buddy to play drums whether he's far away or not. He's my John Bonham. I don't wanna play with some douche bag."
Note: His buddy lives 2 1/2 hours away from us. Not the most doable thing in the world.
Him: "I know you wanna start doing shows but I'm just not there yet man. I'm sorry but I gotta be completely honest. I wanna keep writing and working on covers but I'm not in a huge rush to get out and play."
Note: He's 23, and I'm 26. I'm not getting any younger, and it's time to **** or get off the pot.:scowl:
Me: "Dude. Stop being a pussy."
Him: "I'm not being a pussy man I'm just being honest. If I'm holding you back, you can try to set something up with somebody else. I still want to jam and write but I'm not in a huge rush to play shows."
Him: "I just gotta be straight up with you man because I still want to play with you man. I'm just not going to rush into playing shows right now. I've got too many things going on in my life right now."
Me: "I don't know what's going on, but you need to get your head on straight if you want to be somebody."
Him: "I already am somebody. I don't need success to define me. I already know who I am."
Him: "Music is more than playing shows and having people like you man."
Him: "I'm sorry to disappoint you."
Him: "It's not that I want to stop playing but right now I'm not ready to start doing gigs."
Me: "It's obvious that you're scared to get out of the bedroom. This sort of talk is indicative of someone who doesn't have what it takes."
Him: "I'm not scared at all. I've been jamming with my buddy way before I even knew you and it's him or nobody. And if you think I don't have what it takes find somebody who does. This has nothing to do with fear man."
Him: "I don't have to defend myself either so once again sorry if I disappointed you but I'm sticking to what I said."
Me: "Tell me, when will this drummer be with us? Tomorrow? A week? A month? A year? Never?"
Him: "It will be soon enough."
Me: "Look, I love you dude and I'll play with you, but if that's how it's gotta be then I'm going to pursue other option in the meantime."
Him: "That's cool, that's why I said that earlier man. I'm not trying to hold you up from that. Don't we can't still jam."
END DRAMA
Wow. Just wow. I'm at a loss of the proper words to describe this. Asinine is a good place to start.
And I had to cancel at the last minute on the drummer we were going to audition. I guess it doesn't matter that it makes it both look like ********.
Anyway, I'm stuck in rock and roll purgatory again. Back at square one. Super.
C'est la vie.
+1
Guitarist seemed flaky for 365+ days, and you held course, he demands his friend be drummer and you grumble. Then he says he doesn't want to play live and you rage quit...
Sounds like he's been making the decisions all along, and when you kept going against the grain he calmly said goodbye. I mean think about it, he's controlled you an entire year by hinting he didn't even want to play live, he didn't get his drummer but he got you to cancel on your drummer. Which by the way i think its obvious if he wanted his friend from 2 1/2 hours away to play, he was just looking for the occasional jam like he kept insisting. In the end when he reaffirmed his ass don't play live, you threw a fit and quit, so his hands are clean.
That guitarist is one devious leader when you think about it. Like the pied piper you followed him, now your just mad it took you this long to wake up.
Dude, I wish you the best in sorting out your issues and finding the right band mates... but I just saw the ad you posted on my local CL and I have to say it's vulgar and offensive. Show some class and keep the childish profanity out of it. Best of luck finding the right bros to "make music, break ****, and **** girls."
He couldn't handle all of the [del]tearing his foolishness apart[/del] leadership.
Got my curiosity up enough to chase it down myself, just to see the whole thing. Real class act. I think I've just had to do a downward revision of the opinion I was trying not to have.
Agreed. The OP was the one screwed things up calling him a pussy for not falling in line. You lost any sympathy from me when you called him that, that was completely uncalled for, and your attitude just plain stinks. I wouldn't be surprised if your attitude is the reason for this guy's reticence in the first place.
This thread is why I'm starting to love BM more than OT. 
I just hope the OP is going to carry on posting...
Oh, and I too would like to see the CL ad.
I just hope the OP is going to carry on posting...
Oh, and I too would like to see the CL ad.
- Status
