Guitarists do the darndest things

[J Wilson]

NEVER underestimate how little even basic Day One understanding of knowledge of gear and how it works exists with some players

I once had a band leader who somehow plugged a powered Peavey board into a 220v outlet. It sounded like a 12 ga went off and issued the most perfect smoke ring mushroom cloud. The drummer looped the power cable around a drum stick and got it unplugged.

He turns around, looks at me and asks can we replace the fuse in the back panel?

Or the guitar player with the effects loop on his new amp and wonders WHERE is the Send jack sending what?

But . . . The Patron Saint of Sales and Repair techs everywhere, without whom both professions would be out of business overnight:

Saint They.

' well, THEY said to do it like that'

'they said that would work'

'they said that's the ONLY one to buy:

And the favorite of @agedhorse:

'They said you ALWAYS change out the caps!'

 

[Saetia]

My first band…. Oh boy…. We all tuned different….

 

[Gopherbassist]

Yeah, in common language "gain" doesn't mean loudness or resemble any word that means loudness. I've tried to read about electronics and understand where the term "gain" comes from and exactly what it's supposed to communicate, and I have no idea. I'm not surprised someone who isn't a knob twiddler wouldn't know what the gain setting does.

 

[HolmeBass]

Yeah, in common language "gain" doesn't mean loudness or resemble any word that means loudness. I've tried to read about electronics and understand where the term "gain" comes from and exactly what it's supposed to communicate, and I have no idea. I'm not surprised someone who isn't a knob twiddler wouldn't know what the gain setting does.

Amplitude gain, is what I had always assumed. Which means louder.

 

[hambrew807]

volume up to ear-blistering levels (as all guitarists are stereotyped as doing, per TB conventions)

I know one that believes the aliens on Mars want to hear their guitar. It's a shame that I don't think anyone on Earth wants to hear their guitar and in order to get sound to Mars...

 

[Major Seven]

It’s like these YouTubers who can’t play anything in time but constantly give reviews on gear. Like, why would your opinion be of any value when you can’t play?

There are lots of people like that in life. Especially in corporate.
The least competent are often the ones in charge.

 

[Major Seven]

Honestly, I can't fault him too much for not knowing about the gain knob. Most old school amps back in the day, only had volume knobs. Also, many cheap practice amps don't have gain knobs. Kudos to you for explaining it to him. Too bad that your bass will never be heard again.

I didn't have a gain knob until the 21 century.

 

[UntitledProject]

There are lots of people like that in life. Especially in corporate.
The least competent are often the ones in charge.

Ah, Peter and his principle. Yes, the rise of the incompetent.

 

[Major Seven]

Amplitude gain, is what I had always assumed. Which means louder.

Presence. What is presence? The amp is already present. Here. I can see it. Can it be more present? 11?

And when the car says to check engine. I check it, its always still there.

 

[Major Seven]

I know one that believes the aliens on Mars want to hear their guitar. It's a shame that I don't think anyone on Earth wants to hear their guitar and in order to get sound to Mars...

11 minute delay, depending where in the orbit it is.

 

[Major Seven]

Yeah, in common language "gain" doesn't mean loudness or resemble any word that means loudness. I've tried to read about electronics and understand where the term "gain" comes from and exactly what it's supposed to communicate, and I have no idea. I'm not surprised someone who isn't a knob twiddler wouldn't know what the gain setting does.

As I think I understand it, gain is sensitivity of the preamp. It also gets louder but it is the sensitivity that is the point.

 

[Daniel B5]

I didn't have a gain knob until the 21 century.

Funny, I had a Peavey TNT combo in 1990 that didn't even have the word "volume" on the controls: just pre & post gain. Something like this:

 

[Matt Liebenau]

It is my fantasy to meet a guitarist who doesn't know how to turn up the gain knob.

I used to, and still do sometimes, switch between bass and guitar on different weeks at church. I got asked to turn up a couple of times at one church we went to. I blame it on being a bassist first and mostly and being sensitive to what’s going on around me.

On an unrelated note I was present for what may have been the one time in recorded history when a soundman said, “I need to turn that banjo up a little.”

 

[Topkat13]

I get a kick out these type of posts. Unfortunately there seems to be more and more. The BP criticizes another band member for not cutting the mustard (usually a singer, drummer, or guitarist). They are all painfully the same. Please.

 

[Stylee Mousse]

I also got asked to turn up when playing guitar.

Bass player. Sound tech. Guitarist

In that order!

 

[Heiwa]

I can’t understand how this thing works. I hate it. I’m an ampeg guy

 

[Heiwa]

Presence. What is presence?

The presence knob is joke. WTH does it do?

 

[Major Seven]

The presence knob is joke. WTH does it do?

yea what?

 

[Ostie]

The presence knob is joke. WTH does it do?

You’re supposed to turn it up when you are present. That way everybody knows you're there.

Here’s a confession: I’ve been playing congas for almost ten years. I still can’t figure out how to tune them. I mean, I can tell if the head is slack and needs tightening, but getting them tuned to a note and getting them tuned to each other? I’ve tried and I still can’t figure it out.

 

[KidAmnesia]

{deep breath}

The amount of musicians i've met who have no idea how their gear works is a never-ending source of bewilderment for me. I mean, they don't need to be audio engineers. And i know a lot of musicians are musicians because they're artistic, not technical people. But, still, these are the tools of your art and you have no idea how they work or what they do? And you're not curious? Okay.... i mean, do your thing the way you want. I'm just confused by it.

Edit to say: I'm not talking about those who don't know but are learning. I mean those who don't know and don't care to learn and just play. And even then, i'm not really judging so much as confused by it.

I invited my younger brother into my band. He's absolutely clueless about audio and gear and also about music theory, but is a great player, with good ideas and feel, and is also a great hang. Comunication is a bit harder due to the lack of any technical language, and he mostly plays whatever gear I provide him with; but that means he only gets a 10 w amp and generally uses it however I tell him because "I'm the one who knows that stuff". Great deal if you ask me.