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Double Bass Had your bass mistaken for a cello?

#21
@samson3382 The guitarist in one of my bands always jokes "So did you bring your big ukulele?", but I play a little ukulele so it's more like our joke.

However, amongst the "Cello" and "My what a big guitar you have comments" are the occasional "Bet you wished you'd taken up the [harmonica/flute etc]" to which I reply ...

"Are you nuts? Do you know how much a [harmonica/flute etc] this big would weigh?" Then I pantomime staggering under the weight of trying to play a [harmonic/flute etc].

My response disarms the posterior orifices, and charms the well-intended jokesters.


I think part of the reason people think it might be a cello is the incredulity of somebody actually hauling around a DB, they're thinking:
"Naw, couldn't be a doublebass, who in their right mind would haul around something that big? It must be a cello..."
 
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#23
The new bass we got for our school was called a guitar by several people, even though it came in a box that was over 7' long. It was delivered in front of a Pre-Kindergarten class, so I asked them to guess what was inside the box. Being that I just had a new double bass delivered and I was dealing with a lot of distracting 3 and 4 year olds I don't remember one response, but I am pretty sure none of them were cello or guitar. They do now have me a quest to see if there really is an instrument called the octagon. I think I am just going to call it the octagon from now on.

Bass doesn't rhyme with jello or hello. Just remember kids, there may always be room for a cello but not a bass! ha ha ha
 
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#27
I know a few folks doing brisk business making and selling "It's Not a F***ing Cello" T-Shirts and stickers.

My best story is from the evening I was bringing a Wilfer home on the train from Ideal Music in Manhattan.

As I'm hauling this tubby beast up the annoyingly narrow aisle, a woman looked up from her phone and squawked in a thick Long Island accent "Oh my GAAAAAAWD? Is that a guiTAAAAAAAAH?"
 
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#32
My gig bag is one of the Gollihur ones that has "BASS" embroidered on it in large white letters. When I get the comments as I'm loading/unloading, I just point at the "BASS" on the bag case and quietly continue on. When people want to dispute it with me I go into a long, dry, technical description of the differences between the bass and cello that makes most people glaze over and walk away.
 
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#33
Dr. Love said:
... When people want to dispute it with me I go into a long, dry, technical description of the differences between the bass and cello that makes most people glaze over and walk away.
Click to expand...

I love it when people argue with you, like you wouldn't know what kind of instrument you play: "No, my flugelhornonium only has 4 ivory strings tuned in thirds...".

At a prior Friday-night residency the band was sitting at the bar on a break when a customer from my then day job saw me and came over said hello and motioned to the gear on the "stage": "What's with the cello? What band has a cello in it?" and other mocking remarks about cellos and bands with cellos.

I said "I think it's a bass".

He says some back-handed compliment about my expertise on my day job and "What, you're some sort of expert on wooden instruments, too?"

I simply said "No, I'm no expert in either field, but I'm pretty sure that's a bass" and let it drop. He took his now sour snotty attitude upstairs to share with his friends; from the loft you can't see the "stage". Break was over the band started playing again and towards the end of night as he was leaving he finally sees me playing and as he passes me on his way out leans over and sheepishly grins "It's a bass". :laugh:


I may have to order a Gollihur "BASS" badge for my case...

That, or Spray fabric paint across it:

"World's largest Mouth Harp"

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]​
 
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#34
No idea what you guys are talking about. I play cello (and acoustic bass guitar) with an acoustic rock trio, and no one ever seems to know what it is. "What is that thing you play up there?" is the most common question I field at any given gig. Of course, it probably doesn't help that one of the guitar players constantly refers to it as a violin with a glandular problem.

I can only imagine how much fun that must be with a DB.
 
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#36
Just two songs into the first set on Saturday a drunk and rowdy sausage patrol all park within six inches of where we are playing. I mention that it will be getting loud and rowdy in a few minutes and they might want a bit more personal space and sure enough, the little guy in the pack gives me the stinkeye and barks, "Whatever dude. I'm in no mood to get an a$$ whipping from a cello player tonight..." !!!
 
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#39
What I encounter from curious onlookers is the distinct notion that it has to be a cello because it is bowed. I explain to them that it's a bass and they agree as long as it's played pizz and then they notice the bow and say it's a cello. Kinda like the fiddle/violin distinction.

The funny part to me, is that I feel the bass can't be played (at least by me) with the bow.

I was chatting a while back with a buddy at a his gig (he's phenomenal). I was lameting that how after all the time and investment on the instrument I really wished I could play the thing. He looked at me straight faced and said, "Bah! Nobody can!" We both laughed and ordered another round.
 
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#40
i've been getting this line more and more the last few weeks

with the sale of my house, potential buyers, realitors, home inspectors, architects, surveyers, everyone walks in the front door (my shen 80 lives on a bass stand near the entrance) and asks who plays the cello.

i've stopped correcting them.
 
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