On a lighter note - here's a snippet from my one-man show THE DOUBLE BASS, written by Patrick Suskind:
Okay, fine. Don't say a word. Not bad, huh? Soundproofing. How did people live before they had soundproofing? I can't believe it was any quieter then than it is today. Wagner wrote he couldn't find a quiet apartment anywhere in Paris because there were tinsmiths on every street corner . And a tinsmith -- I don't know if you've ever heard one, but they make the most infernal racket -- terrible for a musician. A tinsmith is someone who pounds, pounds, pounds all day on a piece of metal with a hammer. And in those days everyone worked from sunrise to sunset. Allegedly. So you had the tinsmiths hammering their little hearts out, you had the carriages on the cobblestones; you had salesmen screaming in the marketplace and you had the standard French hullabaloo and revolutionary commotion! I mean, the common people, the crummiest proletariat in the street, its a noisy bunch, it's well known. And on top of that, at the end of the Nineteenth Century Paris was building a subway and they didn't build subways any faster then than they do today. Anyway, I'm skeptical about Wagner, but enough of that! Okay, fine. Now, pay attention. This is a test!
My bass is perfectly normal. Built in 1910 or so in the south Tyrol. 1.12 meters long. If you include the neck and the scroll, 1.92 meters. The length of a vibrating string is one meter and twelve centimeters. Not a remarkable instrument, but I think we can say highly average. I could get 8500 marks for it today. I paid 3500. Crazy. Okay, fine. Now, I'll play something for you, a tone, let's say, low F...(He plays quietly.) There. Pianissimo. Now, piano. (He plays a little louder.) Don't let the rubbing disturb you. It's natural. A pure tone, vibration without any bow stroke rubbing, simply doesn't exist anywhere in the world. No one can do it. Not even Yo-Yo Ma. There. Now, listen. I'll play something between mezzo forte and forte. Remember, we're in a full soundproofed room...(He plays a little louder still.) There. Now we'll wait a second here...hold on...it's coming...okay
Now!(Some one pounds on the ceiling from above.)
There! Hear that? That's Mrs. Neidermeyer, upstairs. At the slightest sound she pounds. That's how I know I've crossed over the boundary between mezzo forte and forte. Mrs. Neidermeyer's okay. Anyway, it doesn't sound so loud when you're standing next to it. In fact, in sound rather discreet. Fortissimo, for example... (He plays as loud as he can, and shouts over the rumble of the bass)...doesn't sound so loud, but it's flooding up to Mrs. Neidermeyer, and leaking down to the superintendent's, and slopping over to the next door neighbor's. They'll all call later! Okay, fine.