Help my decipher these text messages.

[Time Monkey]

Kris: I now understand the power of orion.

Me: The song or the constellation?

Kris: The song.

Me: What brought you to this revelation?

Kris: Cliff Burton visited me in a dream.

Me: Is that where he has been? I haven't been able to get a hold of him for a few days.

Kris: Yes.


-------------------------

Kris has the musical abilities of Helen Keller after losing both arms in a car wreck.

He likes some metal.... kinda. Like, he listens to The Bled once a year.

Other than that, hes all like...

"A little bit of chicken fried... cold beer on a friday night... a pair of jeans that fit just right..... and the radio uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwhhhhhhhooooooooaoaaoaoahoahoahoahoahoahoahoaoha"

The hell is going on?

 

[Mark Wilson]

I dunno.
Acid?

 

[Time Monkey]

Married 7 months ago, baby in november... good paying job that drug tests randomly.

He was always just a pot head back in the day.

Acid seems highly unlikely. Hell, can you even get acid anymore?

 

[Joe Gress]

I dunno.
Acid?

There ya go.

 

[Simo98]

Acid seems highly unlikely. Hell, can you even get acid anymore?

You bet.

 

[jmattbassplaya]

Acid seems highly unlikely. Hell, can you even get acid anymore?

Most definitely.

 

[-Kramer-]

More importantly than what they mean....how did he text you with NO ARMS!?!?!?!?!

 

[Mark Wilson]

More importantly than what they mean....how did he text you with NO ARMS!?!?!?!?!

No... if HELEN KELLER was in a wreck, and lost both of her arms, then HIS BUDDY Would have the same ability she would have.

 

[P. Aaron]

Other than that, hes all like...

"A little bit of chicken fried... cold beer on a friday night... a pair of jeans that fit just right..... and the radio uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuwhhhhhhhooooooooaoaaoaoahoahoahoahoahoahoahoaoha"

I love that song!

 

[MatticusMania]

Married 7 months ago, baby in november... good paying job that drug tests randomly.

He was always just a pot head back in the day.

Acid seems highly unlikely. Hell, can you even get acid anymore?

Yes. Easily. And it doesnt test positive after a few days.

 

[EricF]

I'm confused about your confusion. What's the issue exactly?

 

[Bloodhammer]

You feed a pet food.
You food a livestock feed.

 

[Actium]

It feels like the average metal head only likes Orion because it's like the only time they ever heard bass in modern metal.

I mean, it sounds cool but FFS you would think it's like the Stairway to Heaven riff of the bass world considering how much it's hyped.

 

[Pilgrim]

The answer: bend your knees, square up your hips, and follow through.

 

[BioDriver]

HEY! Chicken Fried is an awesome tailgate and drunk sing along song, so

The answer: bend your knees, square up your hips, and follow through.

I assume you're talking about one of two things. If it's what I think it is, be sure to tell him to cup and clench before you swing

If it's the other thing, then you've got it all wrong. It's "Throw out your hands, stick out your tush, hands on your hips, give 'em a push!"

 

[sloasdaylight]

I am contributing this to this thread: testicles.

Have a good day!

 

[MakiSupaStar]

 

[lowendfriend]

I dunno.
Acid?

But not very good...

 

[fraublugher]

Ze frenge mizdake

 

[bassteban]

I work for Mel Brooks