First, some quick background info so you know why this is such a conundrum for me. I am not a professional musician, but a self-taught rocker, and my scene is the local original music scene, also mainly populated by self-taught rockers. But just because I don't do this for a living doesn't mean I don't take it seriously. It is much, much more than a hobby to me. Up until 2004 or so, I felt creatively stymied by the limitations of the other musicians that I had access to. This is because, when allowed to create music according to my own natural impulses, I tend to use sophisticated chord progressions influenced more by jazz than rock, and I often stray outside of the 4/4 doldrums. So my music is somewhat challenging to play, and requires certain specific skills that, while probably common amongst the pros, are rather hard to come by at my level of the game.
In 2004, I was the member of a fairly popular original rock band, but the other guys in the band really had no idea about the real nuts and bolts of music making. In one new tune we were working on, the guitarist was putting the chord change on the "and" of 4, anticipating the downbeat, but the drummer was accenting on the downbeat. I pointed this out and tried to get them to come together, but neither one of them was capable of counting out even something that simple. 45 minutes later, they were still no closer, and I was getting impatient. "Take it easy dude" said the guitarist, "it's hard". So I quit. Not on the spot, but soon after. It was just too frustrating to deal with. And I swore that even if it meant never playing in another band again, I was done with "musicians" like that.
By 2006, I thought I was done for good, but I happened across an ad in the local paper looking for a bass player for "King Crimson meets MMW". Now that's the kind of thing that can get my attention. There's been a lot of water under that bridge since then, but by a slow war of attrition, that band morphed into my current band, and I eventually found myself the sole writer, and (while the band is democratically run) the closest thing to a BL that we have. The other guys have both kind of referred to me as such on various occasions too. I've been called "the backbone," "the man who writes the songs", "the man behind it all", etc. But never exactly "the band leader". And while I have no desire to be the autocratic dictator of it all, the band is floundering in a couple of ways for lack of leadership, and while I feel responsibility to take the reins, I am scared of coming off as trying to be too controlling or egotistical. I have been reminded by one past member in particular that there is very little money in this band, and I'm not paying anyone to be in it. So my "authority" is very limited, and people have very little to lose by quitting, as they've proven to me many, many times.
So why is this such a fear? Well, remember when I said that my previous band slowly morphed into this one? At a certain point, it was down to just the drummer and I. We had the hardest time finding a guitarist, and as for a keyboardist, horn player, or anything else we would have liked to have, forget it. The only replies we ever got were from guitarists, and the guitar chair was a revolving door. Some guys thought we were too jazz. Others, not jazz enough. But most people who were interested in auditioning simply didn't have the necessary skill set. And so there was a down time of two years between bands, when it was just me and my insanely loyal drummer, spinning our wheels together and trying to keep the faith.
When we got our current guitarist, all seemed really good at first. He was very excited about the project, and put a lot of work into coming up to speed. Before much time had passed, we finally made our debut gig last summer, about a year and a half ago. In that time, I would say we've become more respected than popular. Other musicians really like us. Regular folks too, but not so much the younger set. Clubs keep wanting to book us, even though we don't draw that well. I don't know what's up with that, but there it is, and I'm not making it up.
But our guitarist has become a real PITA. He cancels more rehearsals than he comes to, and often the ones he comes to are rescheduled at the last minute for his benefit (sometimes he cancels THOSE too). He's not good about returning phone calls. At rehearsal, he noodles constantly between songs, shows off his Pink Floyd riffs, etc. And (this will come as a shock) he's DEAFENINGLY loud, and he's not happy unless he's the loudest guy in the room. He's also 10 years younger than the second-youngest member (me) and I think he's just green. But I talk to him about this stuff. Sometimes I yell at him. I'm not an easygoing dude. He gets the message for a short while, but is soon back to his old habits.
The truth is, I like the guy a lot. He's a good hang, and a good guitar player. He's also very well-connected on the scene, having produced many local albums and done sound at just about every club. But he has some annoying habits that are getting worse, and I think he knows he can get away with it because he knows what hell it was to find him. And so I feel like an ugly dude with a hot girlfriend who walks all over him, because she knows she's out of his league. And that feeling frankly pisses me off. And if it wasn't for that two years of down time, he'd have been out on his butt about 6 months ago.
In the meantime, we've actually attracted a keyboardist! My first! And he's amazing. He heard us play at a local bar and really wanted to be in the band. He was the long-time keyboardist for one of the top wedding/corporate bands in the area, and does jazz gigs. The dude is the real deal. So he joined just before the faux-firing. So far, I have been able to keep him shielded from the drama. What I'd really like to do is fire the guitar player and just go keys, bass, and drums. But the drummer feels it wouldn't have enough energy. I have no stomach for auditioning more guitarists, so I'm basically stuck with this guy, and sooner or later this really talented, really pro keyboardist, who doesn't even mind that we don't make much money, is going to realize what a big bunch of stupid drama he's walked into. He's also only willing to commit to every other rehearsal, and has already rescheduled several of those himself, so he may be the same problem anyway.
So, in short, musically I've finally got the band of my dreams. It's artistically exactly what I've worked towards, in a way my whole life, and certainly the past eight years. And it's a frustrating mess, and my main emotion is fear: fear that someone's going to quit and take it all away from me again, fear that I'm going to have to fire someone and not be able to replace them, fear that it will all fall apart and I'll be back to garage bands that can't count to four. I've wrapped a whole lot of my identity and a whole lot of my self-esteem in this band, which is probably stupid, but there it is.
So I guess if I actually have any questions here, and this isn't just a vent thread or a bunch of pathetic whining, my questions would be: how do I take control of this band and establish myself as BL without alienating people who aren't making very much money at it? And how do I handle the situation with the guitarist without scaring off the keyboardist with band drama?
Oh, and how many posts do we need to get to until someone is firing someone? Can't break with TB tradition.
In 2004, I was the member of a fairly popular original rock band, but the other guys in the band really had no idea about the real nuts and bolts of music making. In one new tune we were working on, the guitarist was putting the chord change on the "and" of 4, anticipating the downbeat, but the drummer was accenting on the downbeat. I pointed this out and tried to get them to come together, but neither one of them was capable of counting out even something that simple. 45 minutes later, they were still no closer, and I was getting impatient. "Take it easy dude" said the guitarist, "it's hard". So I quit. Not on the spot, but soon after. It was just too frustrating to deal with. And I swore that even if it meant never playing in another band again, I was done with "musicians" like that.
By 2006, I thought I was done for good, but I happened across an ad in the local paper looking for a bass player for "King Crimson meets MMW". Now that's the kind of thing that can get my attention. There's been a lot of water under that bridge since then, but by a slow war of attrition, that band morphed into my current band, and I eventually found myself the sole writer, and (while the band is democratically run) the closest thing to a BL that we have. The other guys have both kind of referred to me as such on various occasions too. I've been called "the backbone," "the man who writes the songs", "the man behind it all", etc. But never exactly "the band leader". And while I have no desire to be the autocratic dictator of it all, the band is floundering in a couple of ways for lack of leadership, and while I feel responsibility to take the reins, I am scared of coming off as trying to be too controlling or egotistical. I have been reminded by one past member in particular that there is very little money in this band, and I'm not paying anyone to be in it. So my "authority" is very limited, and people have very little to lose by quitting, as they've proven to me many, many times.
So why is this such a fear? Well, remember when I said that my previous band slowly morphed into this one? At a certain point, it was down to just the drummer and I. We had the hardest time finding a guitarist, and as for a keyboardist, horn player, or anything else we would have liked to have, forget it. The only replies we ever got were from guitarists, and the guitar chair was a revolving door. Some guys thought we were too jazz. Others, not jazz enough. But most people who were interested in auditioning simply didn't have the necessary skill set. And so there was a down time of two years between bands, when it was just me and my insanely loyal drummer, spinning our wheels together and trying to keep the faith.
When we got our current guitarist, all seemed really good at first. He was very excited about the project, and put a lot of work into coming up to speed. Before much time had passed, we finally made our debut gig last summer, about a year and a half ago. In that time, I would say we've become more respected than popular. Other musicians really like us. Regular folks too, but not so much the younger set. Clubs keep wanting to book us, even though we don't draw that well. I don't know what's up with that, but there it is, and I'm not making it up.
But our guitarist has become a real PITA. He cancels more rehearsals than he comes to, and often the ones he comes to are rescheduled at the last minute for his benefit (sometimes he cancels THOSE too). He's not good about returning phone calls. At rehearsal, he noodles constantly between songs, shows off his Pink Floyd riffs, etc. And (this will come as a shock) he's DEAFENINGLY loud, and he's not happy unless he's the loudest guy in the room. He's also 10 years younger than the second-youngest member (me) and I think he's just green. But I talk to him about this stuff. Sometimes I yell at him. I'm not an easygoing dude. He gets the message for a short while, but is soon back to his old habits.
The truth is, I like the guy a lot. He's a good hang, and a good guitar player. He's also very well-connected on the scene, having produced many local albums and done sound at just about every club. But he has some annoying habits that are getting worse, and I think he knows he can get away with it because he knows what hell it was to find him. And so I feel like an ugly dude with a hot girlfriend who walks all over him, because she knows she's out of his league. And that feeling frankly pisses me off. And if it wasn't for that two years of down time, he'd have been out on his butt about 6 months ago.
In the meantime, we've actually attracted a keyboardist! My first! And he's amazing. He heard us play at a local bar and really wanted to be in the band. He was the long-time keyboardist for one of the top wedding/corporate bands in the area, and does jazz gigs. The dude is the real deal. So he joined just before the faux-firing. So far, I have been able to keep him shielded from the drama. What I'd really like to do is fire the guitar player and just go keys, bass, and drums. But the drummer feels it wouldn't have enough energy. I have no stomach for auditioning more guitarists, so I'm basically stuck with this guy, and sooner or later this really talented, really pro keyboardist, who doesn't even mind that we don't make much money, is going to realize what a big bunch of stupid drama he's walked into. He's also only willing to commit to every other rehearsal, and has already rescheduled several of those himself, so he may be the same problem anyway.
So, in short, musically I've finally got the band of my dreams. It's artistically exactly what I've worked towards, in a way my whole life, and certainly the past eight years. And it's a frustrating mess, and my main emotion is fear: fear that someone's going to quit and take it all away from me again, fear that I'm going to have to fire someone and not be able to replace them, fear that it will all fall apart and I'll be back to garage bands that can't count to four. I've wrapped a whole lot of my identity and a whole lot of my self-esteem in this band, which is probably stupid, but there it is.
So I guess if I actually have any questions here, and this isn't just a vent thread or a bunch of pathetic whining, my questions would be: how do I take control of this band and establish myself as BL without alienating people who aren't making very much money at it? And how do I handle the situation with the guitarist without scaring off the keyboardist with band drama?
Oh, and how many posts do we need to get to until someone is firing someone? Can't break with TB tradition.
You schedule a rehearsal, he reschedules it. You (and the drummer) agree to the reschedule, he does not show up / cancels at the last minute. He is effectively playing a power game and he is winning.
