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how do you motivate someone with stage fright?

S

s_mcsleazy

Nov 23, 2009
4,171
75
glasgow (on the 16 bus)
#1
ok for the last 7 years me and my best friend have been writing songs together. we have nearly 30. but there in lies the problem. i think we have some really good song ideas that alot of people might like but shes really not confident about the idea of getting on stage. so the real question is how do i motivate/warm up the idea to her. shes normally really confident except when you bring up the idea of playing any kinda gig.

ive even sugested the idea of doing a unplugged set and she says its a neat idea but shes not quite ready yet.

so any sugestions
 
#3
Has she played any really small parties or even family get togethers? Even a small setting like a party with close friends (and everyone's drunk) can be a great way to get someone to loosen up.
 
#5
Winnb said:
Has she played any really small parties or even family get togethers? Even a small setting like a party with close friends (and everyone's drunk) can be a great way to get someone to loosen up.
Click to expand...

This is a really good idea. Start small.
She will gain confidence in time.
Remember, Carly Simon had devastating stage freight early in her career.
 
#11
iri5hpunk21 said:
honestly i think it's harder to play when people you know are watching. I feel more at ease playing in front of 300 random people than 3 close friends..
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+1. Until very recently, it was a really bad mistake if I scoped out the venue for friends before going on.

Looking over the audience to the back wall is another tactic some find effective.

Sounds like it really comes down to her finding a way to feel comfortable in her own skin. Confidence, combined with not taking oneself too seriously.
 
#13
Ya can't learn how to play tennis by reading a book about it. Ya have to just get out there and start doing it. Her confidence will build with experience.

If breaking the ice the first time is the challenge, tell her that if she doesn't do it, she will be forced to do all of this:

  • Listen to two straight hours of rap (ouch!)
  • Listen to two straight hours of Britney Spears (painful!)
  • Listen to five minutes of Nickelback (okay, that's too brutal)
 
#16
I did not read all the comments, however you have two disticnt and separate issues here.

1. If she is one of these poeple that have no interest in doing live shows, live performance, there is nothing you can do.

2.If she is just shy, she has to just get out there in the shallow end of the pool.She will get to the deep end in no time.
 
#17
Our drummer loves to talk about how Rod Stewart did his first concert with his back to the audience the whole time. After a few shows he got the confidence up to gradually start turning around.

But she has to accept the idea of performing in the first place. I'd just press on her that music is to be shared and she shouldn't keep it all to herself. Let her go to a few open mics WITHOUT any pressure to perform. Once you see a few other people suck -- especially if the audience is gracious to them -- it makes it a lot easier to go up yourself.
 
#20
1. Sunglasses
It's not always the stage lights, sometimes shy peeps wear em....

2. Point some nice bright lights at her so she can't *see* the people.

3. Ferget doing it in front of family and friends......that's worse than random strangers....find a forgiving random stranger crowd.

Seriously......I had stage fright. Sometimes still do. One day, at a college recital (300+ music students and professors watching) I realized I couldn't see past the front row due to the stage lights! Aha! So it wasn't 300 people....it was just the front row.... made that easier. Bring on the stage lights!

Another aha moment is when I realized I'm up there concentrating my butt off.....but wait......no one really notices if I flub a note or two (except band mates and they aren't perfect either). I've seen singers forget entire verses, and the audience didn't really care. Point this out to her....maybe take her to a show and start pointing out all the mistakes that no one will notice, and tell her it's the same if she messes up on stage as long as she laughs and keeps going.

You couuuuuuuld suggest to her wearing facepaint and a costume? Something to hide behind?

Drag her to karaoke..... over and over again.... sooner or later she'll get over it LOL.

Tell her it's normal, no animal except humans willing puts itself in front of the eyes of other animals that might just eat it (we are prey to big animals after all)....just our instincts :)
 

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