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how do you motivate someone with stage fright?

#41
Karaoke.

I used to be a Karaoke DJ, and I saw it over and over again. Someone coming up to me completely scared and frightened about their first time on stage. Finally, they'd get up (frequently doing a song with a friend or a group of friends), realize they really enjoyed it, and the next thing you know you couldn't keep them off of the stage.

It's a lot of fun for a group of friends to go up and do a group song--that way, all of the attention isn't on one person, and she can decide here level of participation--up near the mics where everyone can hear her, or in the background as far away as possible. Keep doing group songs until she's ready for something like a duet, then a solo. That way she can work up to singing by herself on stage in a time period that she's comfortable with.
 
#42
s_mcsleazy said:
ok for the last 7 years me and my best friend have been writing songs together. we have nearly 30. but there in lies the problem. i think we have some really good song ideas that alot of people might like but shes really not confident about the idea of getting on stage. so the real question is how do i motivate/warm up the idea to her. shes normally really confident except when you bring up the idea of playing any kinda gig.

ive even sugested the idea of doing a unplugged set and she says its a neat idea but shes not quite ready yet.

so any sugestions
Click to expand...

It's just not for everyone. If you get her up there and she freezes, forgets words, pukes, or embarasses herself in some other way, she will only resent you for it.

It's the kind of thing you do when you are ready, sort of like jumping out of an airplane. No one wants to be pushed.

You'd be better off finding a confident singer. It sounds like your songwriting partner won't mind a bit.
 
#45
once again --- if she's truely a writer, many of these folks are more interested in the song inside than pimpin it on the street.

What does she want to do?

-----

I have a project I'm passionate about --- my partner takes it at his own pace -- it seems the better I am at makiing it comfortable for him to play, the more willing he is to do it.. he's not an egotist or elitist -- just as happy sitting at home agonizing over hooks.

Timmy
 
#46
Drag her to a few Karaoke nights at the local dive bar. Most singers suck at those places any way but that's part of the fun. Karaoke is good training wheels for singers because there is no pressure and most folks aren't listening anyway. If she gains some confidence then pursue the band thing next at small parties and BBQ's.
 
#48
Along with the keyboard player in one of my old bands I was the main songwriter. I also used to write all the lyrics, do most of the arrangements and sing lead vocals. Depite the fact that the band was doing really well on the local circuit, and for a number of years, I was always really nervous before any gig - to the point of feeling physically sick and wondering what sort of masochism drove me to continually put myself in in those situations. I got better, but never fully over it.

I think it was the subconcious knowledge that having put so much of myself into my lyrics, and so much of my musical ability into writing, that I was putting a lot of myself out there for public scrutiny and inviting people to knock me down if they had a mind to. It's the dichotomy of being sensitive enough to write songs that speak to other people, alongside being hard nosed enough not to write syrupy introspective rubbish that nobody cares about - and hard nosed enough not to care care if people don't like it.

It could just be that she's not ready to put so much of herself out there?

If she has the same issues with cover songs or karaoke it's a different issue.
 
#49
s_mcsleazy said:
ok for the last 7 years me and my best friend have been writing songs together. we have nearly 30. but there in lies the problem. i think we have some really good song ideas that alot of people might like but shes really not confident about the idea of getting on stage. so the real question is how do i motivate/warm up the idea to her. shes normally really confident except when you bring up the idea of playing any kinda gig.

ive even sugested the idea of doing a unplugged set and she says its a neat idea but shes not quite ready yet.

so any sugestions
Click to expand...
Offer this to read;

http://www.halgalper.com/ in the Articles Tab choose "Stagefright and Relaxation"
 
#50
For a while I struggled with stage anxiety before and during a show... I'd be extremely tense physically and underperform because I thought that everyone was judging me critically in the audience - all I could think of was how catastrophic it'd be were I to fail or mess up.

As silly as it sounds I found that the best way to avoid this is to adopt a rather cynical attitude when it comes to playing out. Now I psyche myself out by essentially saying "screw the audience" and giving it my best shot... I could play circles around 95% of the audience despite my admittedly amateur skill level, and as soon as I realize this the whole judgment thing doesn't bother me anymore and I simply have a good time.

Honestly though different things work for different people. You may suggest trying beta blockers or kava kava or something to that effect to physically quell the sensation, or as someone else suggested just get her to go ahead and perform in front of people that you both know and like.
 
#52
Funny, but I don't remember ever having stage fright. Nerves, yes, but not a full-blown case of stage fright. For me the key is preparation. Much like a football team had a game plan and sticks to it during the course of a game, having a mental "game plan" goes a long way. You know the songs, the song list is in front of you, you have carefully crafted bass lines, your gear is ready to go, you know which note to hit to begin every song (that's important to me). Before you hit the stage you run a quick mental checklist, which instills confidence in yourself. then you get out there and, as the Nike commercials say, just do it.

Tom Brady is ready to play quarterback before every game, and you should be ready to play before every gig as well. It's what separates the pros from the amateurs.

Now, if your fear runs much deeper than that, then perhaps professional help may be needed.
 
#53
The key to overcoming stage fright or nerves is just to remember that the audience is not wishing you to fail! They want you to succeed and sound good and entertain them. Most are not sitting there and being judgemental. They just want to have a good time, and so should you, the performer!
 
#60
The more people the easier it is for me. I figure it this way:
If there are 30 people there, 7 are paying attention, 15 are talking about something else and the reamaining 8 are too drunk, chasin' skirts or watching the TV...

with 300 people:
7 are paying attention, 200 are talking about something else and the rest are chasin' skirts..
 

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