How do you tell a moron he's a moron?

[Yools]

This reminds me of a guitar player I used to play with. He always spoke like he was an authority on gear, and he had this huge stereo guitar rig with 2 4x12 cabs, a Marshall and a Fender head, and a giant rack with 3 or 4 preamps and an old ART multi-effects unit (which, by the way, put out the most oppressive, mushy guitar tone I ever heard). Anyway, at the time I was running a rack with a preamp, compressor, and power amp, and I mentioned to him that I wanted to get a parametric EQ for my rack. Here's the conversation:

Him: "Yeah, that would be a great idea, and you should put it so it is the last thing in your signal chain, right in front of your speaker cabinet."

Me: "Well, I can't put it after the power amp - it is designed for a line-level signal, and the power amp would destroy it"

Him: "No, no, that's what you want to do - absolutely last before the speakers - that way you get the final control of the tone after it's gone through everything else."

Me: "It can't go after the power amp - the signal will fry it!"

Him: "No, that's what you want to do..."

etc. etc. No matter how rational my argument was, he couldn't get it into his head that a signal from a 1000 watt power amp would melt the insides of a parametric EQ. Fortunately I knew enough about gear to know that he was full of **** - had we had this conversation about 3 years earlier, I probably would have listened to him. Instead, that was the moment that I officially stopped listening to him.

The funny thing is, he ran sound at a fairly large (500-700 capacity) local club and he actually set up the PA system at the club - including the rack-mounted compressors, EQs, and power amps. I can't understand how people can be so dense.

-Y

PS He was also constantly hounding me to get rid of my Eden 410XLT cabinet and "upgrade" to some JBL 15s. What is it with meatheads and JBL speakers?

 

[Tomis17]

It's that orange badge that let's everyone else knows they are the real pro.

 

[bassteban]

*Solder*
It's solder, not sotter.

 

[Tomis17]

*Solder*
It's solder, not sotter.

Ooops! Now you're telling me I'm a moron?

 

[Zooberwerx]

Ooops! Now you're telling me I'm a moron?

Not to worry...."sotter" has appeared at least twice in this thread and has officially become a part of the TalkBass lexicon along with "ohmage".

Use it freely with impunity and the knowledge you're getting your point across.

Riis

 

[4lPh4n0m3g4]

Use it freely with impunity and the knowledge you're getting your point across.

Riis

Which is the point of language; much to the chagrin of spelling nazis.

 

[bassteban]

Ooops! Now you're telling me I'm a moron?

If you can figure out that you're being called a moron, are you truly a moron?

-Adolf Sotler

 

[ubado]

One of my personal favorites....

"Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"

LQTM!

It's now one of mine too!


Yup, the guy's a monkey ... keep him away from your gear and let the monkey do what he does ... just give him a banana when he fails.

 

[SAlcott]

Don't let him sotter anything for you.....

 

[Febs]

Whenever he does something stupid, just mutter "moron" under your breath. You know ... sotter voce.

 

[walker rosewood]

Whenever he does something stupid, just mutter "moron" under your breath. You know ... sotter voce.

haha, you made a music major laugh.


I've got a sticker on my case that says "Stupidity should be painful" Once his gear and his health are compromised he'll figure it out.

 

[Mr. Mig]

Let his equipment burn since he isn't going to listen to you.

 

[Tomis17]

Let his equipment burn since he isn't going to listen to you.

Exactly what I'm gonna do. Fortunately, for him his equipment is crap anyway.

 

[ChrisPbass]

Which is the point of language; much to the chagrin of spelling nazis.

saiz alphaomega. i uhgre with u 1hun dred per cent. az lawng az u get urr point akrozz wut doz it matta?

btw you forgot to capitalize Nazis

 

[R. Laevinus]

"How do you tell a moron he's a moron?"

Well, what I used to do is this:
1. With a Sharpie, print "YOU ARE A MORON" clearly on a Post-It note.
2. Apply Post-It firmly and smoothly to the business end (I prefer the claw - it's got more mass, which means better tone!) of your favourite crowbar.
3. Apply the business end of the crowbar, with Post-It attached, to the target's forehead. 11 is best, for full effect.

However, since all that hassle with the lawyers and the cops, I no longer use my simple 3-step program. Now I just let them learn the hard(er) way.

 

[Thor]

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. -Mark Twain

Now that there was a smart feller.

 

[testing1two]

There's a silver lining to this: crappy gear is being destroyed at the expense of an idiot. All that's left to do is maintain a safe distance.

 

[D.A.R.K.]

good god, he's liable to start playing with voltage any minute...
don't let him kill you or himself...

"look, i got rid of the noise in my pa by removing all the grounding!"

 

[ulrich]

No offense, but:
Step one, learn the difference between TRS, and TS plugs.
Learn to spell solder.
Seriously, you don't come off as somebody, whose advice I'd take.

If we're gonna be all interwebs, meme about spelling, then it's moran not moron.

 

[Pat C.]

He's not listening so I'll just let him show me how it's done.

This sounds like a simple case of ignorance, not meant to be derogatory, just a lack of knowledge about what he's undertaking. No real shame in that, most of us have been there, but it'd be better if he got clued in before he damages something or hurts himself or someone else.

You're probably not going to convince him that he may be doing things incorrectly. The best thing for you to do is steer him towards a source that can provide him with good information, if he hears the truth from a 3rd party, or a professional, he may re-think his approach. A couple of suggestions:

A book: Yamaha Sound Reinforcement Handbook

A couple of internet resources...
The Link Removed:
Link Removed
Link Removed
Link Removed

Invalid Link Removed - Invalid Link Removed

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Unfortunately, I don't think any of the above even address cable usage, I'm sure it's assumed that people should know which cables to use and when. So your buddy is a bit behind the curve and has some catching up to do. Pass along these links and hopefully he will begin his audio education. Who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be a kick-ass sound guy someday.