Amen to that! Many times that has been the exact case.
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How many red flags is too many red flags?
- Thread starter Beej
- Start date
Run when you see One.
Run when you see One.
Rum when you see One.
Repeat.
Run when you see One.
Rum when you see One.
Repeat.
The problem with married couples is you are just an accessory, the odd man out. When it comes down to it, they will stick together, make decisions that fit their plans and you are not really a part of their partnership. Now that happens even with band members that aren't couples. I heard even bands like Rush had two members that were close and the drummer was never able to be a part of their world. It worked, obviously. So, its dynamics of the people and probably comes down to what you want to deal with. I don't know, but its sounds like a lot of baggage in this case, Beej.
Just out of curiosity, which is a bigger red flag....
The BL and singer are married.........or,
The BL and singer are dating?
Been through both. Fortunately, all concerned were professional enough to leave their daily bitches in the dressing room. Never brought them onstage.
Insist on this from the start, promising to depart at the first inkling of "dagger eyes" or other juvenile behavior.
JMHO.
The BL and singer are married.........or,
The BL and singer are dating?
Been through both. Fortunately, all concerned were professional enough to leave their daily bitches in the dressing room. Never brought them onstage.
Insist on this from the start, promising to depart at the first inkling of "dagger eyes" or other juvenile behavior.
JMHO.
"Hey my (wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend) can sing..." Band dynamics are difficult enough all other things being equal. In my humble opinion if you have a married couple you are not joining a band you are a backup player, which is fine if you are okay with it. My experience in similar situations leads me to say no thanks. There will be better opportunities sans potential drama.
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Last time I heard of a situation with this much baggage I had to go get a cart.
Last time I saw this many red flags I was in China.
I'm actually fine with working with married couples, so long as you realize they'll be running the band. What I would never in a million years consider doing is being in a band with someone I'm working or have worked a day job with. Just no way. In fact, due to the nature of my work, I wouldn't be in a band with anyone who worked in my field.
Last time I saw this many red flags I was in China.
I'm actually fine with working with married couples, so long as you realize they'll be running the band. What I would never in a million years consider doing is being in a band with someone I'm working or have worked a day job with. Just no way. In fact, due to the nature of my work, I wouldn't be in a band with anyone who worked in my field.
A guy I know told me a guy from his work plays lead guitar in a working band and they are looking for a new bass player, so I said sure, pass my details on to them. I got a call from the band leader last night, and it turns out we know each other from work. In fact, his supervisor used to report to me in my last job. In the discussion a few other potential red flags appeared.
Band leader is a rhythm guitarist and sometimes lead vocalist. He’s married to the main lead vocalist. She’s only been singing regularly for a couple of years. I didn’t realize they were a married couple until he brought it up, but she also used to work for someone who reported to me, and we had some “contact” over some of the time I was in that department, as it was part of my job to be present for any staff disciplinary meetings (this was over three years ago). We talked about this specifically and he said it’s all water under the bridge as she’s in a different line of work now and never had a problem with me at the time.
They are looking for a new bass player and a new drummer, because they both quit after their last show in March, right before COVID hit here. According to the BL, after a band meeting, the drummer couldn’t hack the vocal expectations and quit rather than work on vocals. The bass player apparently quit because sometimes the BL and singer “like to change arrangements around” in some of the songs they perform. It’s all covers – a mix of danceable 70’s/80’s/90’s rock, lots of fun songs.
The conversation was last night, and we chatted about two songs that I already knew. I’m going to go play with them tonight.
Whatcha think TB? Too many red flags?
By all means audition. That said, in my experience their is no “water under the bridge“ that can’t bubble up later on. Trust me. I think deep down this is the main reason you posted the OP.
Do they know how to book themselves? If yes, I’d at least show up and kick the tires. You just never know. But nobody gets a blank check. Things better be moving the right direction at 30 days out, or I’m gone.
One of my bands had a drummer that was a grave robber. (Long story)
It was one of the funnest bands I was ever in, but I never let the drummer know where I lived.
The worst band I was ever in.... Alcoholic husband on lead, hypoglycemic wife as the lead vocalist.
Point...I would rather be in a band with a grave robber that mounted a human skull between his toms than a husband and wife team.
It was one of the funnest bands I was ever in, but I never let the drummer know where I lived.
The worst band I was ever in.... Alcoholic husband on lead, hypoglycemic wife as the lead vocalist.
Point...I would rather be in a band with a grave robber that mounted a human skull between his toms than a husband and wife team.
I had to fire my lead singer/girlfriend because she refused to haul gear... mind you the BL wouldn't do it because he was afraid he'd lose me... so I asked if he wanted me to do it....
Then I asked her if we were still going out the next saturday.... she gave me the finger and walked away. (I earned a lot of cred that night.)
Changing up songs, specially on the fly is half the fun of playing music live-modulate, tempo changes, switch up the whole genre (everyone loves reggae Bob Dylan)
As far as Rush is concerned, you had 2 guys who had been friends for about 10 years and were semi-pro when the new guy showed up. Add in that the new guy could be pretty private at times, and I think they were pretty good friends for being together as long as they had been.
To keep this on point, I think a married couple think could work...as long as you realize that you won`t be considered in a number of decisions. It may just be a matter of how much you can/will tolerate.
My limit for that wouldn`t be high. Combined with what may be potential problems concerning the professional past, and you may have a recipe for disaster (I know there are some people I have worked with in the past that I would NOT be in a band with).
One jam session should probably answer all of these questions. Even then, I would still keep one eyebrow raised.
I'd go play with them. How red the flag ends up being is directly proportional to the talent on hand. If they are great and the bar is high then it could be a good time. Far at the other end of the red flag spectrum, if they are terrible and the bar is high let them know that and run away.
I'd like to ad that many years ago I hooked up with a husband on guitar, wife on drums, along with the wife's best friends on vocals and sax. I bought along a very good guitar player. So it ended up being us against them. The husband was the band leader with a VERY STRONG PERSONALITY. Talent wise, the guy I brought along and I were the strongest by far. We had a great time for about a year then I moved out of state. The only issue(s) were that the singer was pretty goo looking and her husband had to be at every gig and every practice ti watch her. Along with the fact that the band leader would occasionally lash out at his drummer wife in front of everyone.
I'd like to ad that many years ago I hooked up with a husband on guitar, wife on drums, along with the wife's best friends on vocals and sax. I bought along a very good guitar player. So it ended up being us against them. The husband was the band leader with a VERY STRONG PERSONALITY. Talent wise, the guy I brought along and I were the strongest by far. We had a great time for about a year then I moved out of state. The only issue(s) were that the singer was pretty goo looking and her husband had to be at every gig and every practice ti watch her. Along with the fact that the band leader would occasionally lash out at his drummer wife in front of everyone.
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buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
I've never had an issue with band members being married.
Drummer quitting because vocals were important - not a red flag, just the opposite.
He says work isn't an issue.
They mess with arrangements, but vocals are important. Just as likely to be imaginative as lazy.
No deal breakers here. Go in with an open mind.
Drummer quitting because vocals were important - not a red flag, just the opposite.
He says work isn't an issue.
They mess with arrangements, but vocals are important. Just as likely to be imaginative as lazy.
No deal breakers here. Go in with an open mind.
Ric5
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- Jan 29, 2008
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A guy I know told me a guy from his work plays lead guitar in a working band and they are looking for a new bass player, so I said sure, pass my details on to them. I got a call from the band leader last night, and it turns out we know each other from work. In fact, his supervisor used to report to me in my last job. In the discussion a few other potential red flags appeared.
Band leader is a rhythm guitarist and sometimes lead vocalist. He’s married to the main lead vocalist. She’s only been singing regularly for a couple of years. I didn’t realize they were a married couple until he brought it up, but she also used to work for someone who reported to me, and we had some “contact” over some of the time I was in that department, as it was part of my job to be present for any staff disciplinary meetings (this was over three years ago). We talked about this specifically and he said it’s all water under the bridge as she’s in a different line of work now and never had a problem with me at the time.
They are looking for a new bass player and a new drummer, because they both quit after their last show in March, right before COVID hit here. According to the BL, after a band meeting, the drummer couldn’t hack the vocal expectations and quit rather than work on vocals. The bass player apparently quit because sometimes the BL and singer “like to change arrangements around” in some of the songs they perform. It’s all covers – a mix of danceable 70’s/80’s/90’s rock, lots of fun songs.
The conversation was last night, and we chatted about two songs that I already knew. I’m going to go play with them tonight.
Whatcha think TB? Too many red flags?
dude that is red flag city
