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How to fire someone from a band
- Thread starter GigDoggy
- Start date
Reading over these posts, I could not help but laugh. I got "fired" from a cover band I was in via email, and in language that said "we've decided to take the band in a different direction, blah blah blah".
This was a four piece band. I got fired, and so did our lead singer (who was the guitarist's g/f up until a few weeks prior to her sudden 'release'). Now, as if it isn't lowlife enough to keep people on without giving them any idea that they're about to be "fired" just so you can cover those last few gigs, these scumbags (the guitarist and drummer) not only resorted to a cowardly email, but also kept the name of the band which I gave them ... and adopted the format I gave them (female singer, and nearly half the set list were numbers by bands these two fools never even heard of until they met me), they had the gall to tell me in the email that they were "going in a different direction". Complete BS, since I was the one who gave them their direction in the first place.
Anyway, other than being PO'd at their cowardliness and miffed that they just assumed they could take my ideas and not credit me with them, I was actually relieved and eventually got back into a resurrected band that I was in previously and which I enjoyed much more.
If you're going to fire someone, at least make a phone call. Face to face is preferable, and don't string that person along. If you have made the decision to fire them then let them know it immediately. Have the courage to face the consequences of your action, if that means having to pass up on a gig or two, so be it.
This was a four piece band. I got fired, and so did our lead singer (who was the guitarist's g/f up until a few weeks prior to her sudden 'release'). Now, as if it isn't lowlife enough to keep people on without giving them any idea that they're about to be "fired" just so you can cover those last few gigs, these scumbags (the guitarist and drummer) not only resorted to a cowardly email, but also kept the name of the band which I gave them ... and adopted the format I gave them (female singer, and nearly half the set list were numbers by bands these two fools never even heard of until they met me), they had the gall to tell me in the email that they were "going in a different direction". Complete BS, since I was the one who gave them their direction in the first place.
Anyway, other than being PO'd at their cowardliness and miffed that they just assumed they could take my ideas and not credit me with them, I was actually relieved and eventually got back into a resurrected band that I was in previously and which I enjoyed much more.
If you're going to fire someone, at least make a phone call. Face to face is preferable, and don't string that person along. If you have made the decision to fire them then let them know it immediately. Have the courage to face the consequences of your action, if that means having to pass up on a gig or two, so be it.
After that you should have slept with the lead singer. Oh boy, would the guitarist have been PO'd at that!
Vengence is a dish best served hot... in the morning... in bed!
I've used this approach many times. Bridges don't get burned that way.
Treat people with respect, and they will always remember you.
S*#! on them, and they will never forget you.
My favorite is "The band is breaking up, dude." Then don't tell him about the next rehearsal.
Its just like being let go from a job. You politely tell them that they're not working out and relieve them of their duties. No need to be bitter, mean, or cold about it, just be polite and professional. If he doesn't like being let go, which nobody does, just remember its his/her problem and only has himself to blame for being released and you did what you had to do to relieve the band of said problem.
as some of the regulars know, a couple of years ago I got canned by email. no warnings that there was a problem of any kind. Just a bolt out of the blue. A cowardly act by a lead singer who apparently could not stand anyone having an opinion on band matters and direction other than himself.
And he was the last one in. I was the one who brought it all together.
Of course I was as mad as hell. It was immature.
I wish them nothing but the worst.
Fortunately I moved on and am doing better than they've ever done or ever will. So in a sense, they did me a favor.
but I agree. You have to give warning. You have to be honest. You have to be respectful to your band mates.
Treat them as you yourself would be treated. I do believe that Karma has a way of coming back at ya.
And he was the last one in. I was the one who brought it all together.
Of course I was as mad as hell. It was immature.
I wish them nothing but the worst.
Fortunately I moved on and am doing better than they've ever done or ever will. So in a sense, they did me a favor.
but I agree. You have to give warning. You have to be honest. You have to be respectful to your band mates.
Treat them as you yourself would be treated. I do believe that Karma has a way of coming back at ya.
But seriously, bad karma over something as dumb as a bad breakup? Thats a little light handed for the laws of karma. I seriously don't think thats big enough of a deal for karma to come into play. "The band kicked me out, in a childish, unprofessional manner, so now karma will get them back," really sounds just as childish. Sure, it was immature, and disrespectful, but to be so bitter about something and to "wish someone the worst" right there negates all karmic reaction, it could even be bad karma for YOU.
so I'm childish to believe "what goes around, comes around?" LOL
who died and left you "The King of All Things Karma"??
"The concept of karma is part of the world view of many millions of people throughout the world. Many in western cultures or with a Christian upbringing have incorporated a notion of karma. The Christian concept of reaping what you sow from Galatians 6:7 can be considered equivalent to Karma. For some, karma is a more reasonable concept than eternal damnation for the wicked. Spirituality or a belief that virtue is rewarded and sin creates suffering might lead to a belief in karma.
According to karma, performing positive actions results in a good condition in one's experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed. Delay can be until later in the present life or in the next. Thus, meritorious acts may mean rebirth into a higher station, such as a superior human or a godlike being, while evil acts result in rebirth as a human living in less desirable circumstances, or as a lower animal. "
While I don't believe people are going to come back as lower animals for bad acts, yes, I do believe that negative behavior will come back on you in some way.
So sue me.
*Shrugs*
who died and left you "The King of All Things Karma"??
"The concept of karma is part of the world view of many millions of people throughout the world. Many in western cultures or with a Christian upbringing have incorporated a notion of karma. The Christian concept of reaping what you sow from Galatians 6:7 can be considered equivalent to Karma. For some, karma is a more reasonable concept than eternal damnation for the wicked. Spirituality or a belief that virtue is rewarded and sin creates suffering might lead to a belief in karma.
According to karma, performing positive actions results in a good condition in one's experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed. Delay can be until later in the present life or in the next. Thus, meritorious acts may mean rebirth into a higher station, such as a superior human or a godlike being, while evil acts result in rebirth as a human living in less desirable circumstances, or as a lower animal. "
While I don't believe people are going to come back as lower animals for bad acts, yes, I do believe that negative behavior will come back on you in some way.
So sue me.
*Shrugs*
That is exactly right. I guess I used to work with a bunch of spineless folks because I was always the guy who had to fire someone. To 'upfront, honest and respectful' I would add 'in a timely manner'. After the decision is made do not procrastinate. It will invariably make things worse.
It's a good idea to make sure you are all in agreement about it.
We sort of gave our original drummer a warning, after a particularly bad drunken blowout (some highlights- the drummer climbing up on a kitchen chair and letting out a loud roar with crazy eyes, the drummer punching the fridge, leaving a dent and having a purple hand for about a week). He took a trip, came back, and nothing changed. Same lack of practice/progress that we were frustrated with.
We sort of looked around, had a really good potential guy lined up... then made a decision. The guitarist and I both sat down and told him. The guitarist did the set up, I did the firing (and ended up looking like I was the one behind it all, but that's another story).
As for the singer, he was sort of a deadbeat for about 4 months when we were putting together this new album. It wasnt hard to fire him, he knew it was coming. Once we tried to talk to him about working more than 10 hours a week and he got so enraged about it he started jumping up and down shouting at the top of his lungs. Another time he and the guitarist got into an argument and the guitarist got so upset he ripped a door off the wall.
Anyway, with the two tempermental guys gone things have been smooth going. I love our new stuff and sound without a singer.
We sort of gave our original drummer a warning, after a particularly bad drunken blowout (some highlights- the drummer climbing up on a kitchen chair and letting out a loud roar with crazy eyes, the drummer punching the fridge, leaving a dent and having a purple hand for about a week). He took a trip, came back, and nothing changed. Same lack of practice/progress that we were frustrated with.
We sort of looked around, had a really good potential guy lined up... then made a decision. The guitarist and I both sat down and told him. The guitarist did the set up, I did the firing (and ended up looking like I was the one behind it all, but that's another story).
As for the singer, he was sort of a deadbeat for about 4 months when we were putting together this new album. It wasnt hard to fire him, he knew it was coming. Once we tried to talk to him about working more than 10 hours a week and he got so enraged about it he started jumping up and down shouting at the top of his lungs. Another time he and the guitarist got into an argument and the guitarist got so upset he ripped a door off the wall.
Anyway, with the two tempermental guys gone things have been smooth going. I love our new stuff and sound without a singer.
The ideal method is one where the subject knows that they are already going to be fired. If you have previously put down an ultimatum (eg "your kitten-huffing habit is out of control, you have one month to kick it, otherwise you are out of the band") then if the subject is still huffing kittens after a month, they will virtually fire themselves ("Fred, we need to talk." "You're firing me, aren't you?" "Yes.")
S.P.
S.P.
My band fired the drummer in a terrible way.
The singer and two guitarists had been planning on it for ages, i found out went kinda mental at not being included in this.
"we thought you'd take it badly because you're a mate of his"
clearly.
Few weeks pass and the singer gets hammered at a fest and says to some dude "this is the new drummer, we'd fire our new drummer right away if our bassist wouldnt leave" - shame the former drummer heard. Called me at like 2am ranting about them - i managed to calm him down and say to discuss it after the monday night gig.
He didnt make it that far...went up to the guitarist (only sole founding member) and asked what he thought. The singer interupted and a slagging match started...then a boxing match.
Ended up my drummer mate pressing charges on the singer and the band not getting to play (rightfulyl so.)
I dont play music to be linked with thugery...but my drummer mate is happier now - even came to the replacements very first gig.....which was amusing
So if you're gonna fire someone - dont do it like that.
The singer and two guitarists had been planning on it for ages, i found out went kinda mental at not being included in this.
"we thought you'd take it badly because you're a mate of his"
clearly.
Few weeks pass and the singer gets hammered at a fest and says to some dude "this is the new drummer, we'd fire our new drummer right away if our bassist wouldnt leave" - shame the former drummer heard. Called me at like 2am ranting about them - i managed to calm him down and say to discuss it after the monday night gig.
He didnt make it that far...went up to the guitarist (only sole founding member) and asked what he thought. The singer interupted and a slagging match started...then a boxing match.
Ended up my drummer mate pressing charges on the singer and the band not getting to play (rightfulyl so.)
I dont play music to be linked with thugery...but my drummer mate is happier now - even came to the replacements very first gig.....which was amusing
So if you're gonna fire someone - dont do it like that.
very interesting & informative thread
i'm in a band & we may be making a decision soon to actually let the leader go. he's an incredible lead guitar player, ( one of the best i've ever played with ) but he's definitely OCD, & has ZERO people skills whatsoever.
i've been playing with the leader for close to 20 months now, & in that time, we have been thru 4/5 guitar players, 3 drummers, 3/4 singers, & he was a control freak, ( which he's kinda chilled lately, because i've confronted him about it on more than a few occasions, , cause that @#@# don't fly ) it seems like everytime we would get things rolling with a new crew, something minor would happen, & mr drama king, ( leader ) would, ( without consulting me ) fire 'em & burn that bridge before he could even get the match lit. ( have i mentioned yet that he's a recovering alcohol & drug addict from NYC, transplanted out here in the beautiful Bay Area, where most players are laidback-chill kinda guys, that do on occasion partake.... & it drives this guy ( leader ) absolutely nuts,, & starts ranting & raving about his sobriety ( give me a break )
well we finally got a group of pro-quality players with the original singer, ( he's been in/out 3 times ) with a killer keyboard player, ( who we all like alot ) go into the studio & record a demo, so we can shop it out for gigs, ( yes, that's correct, in all this time, with all the personnel changes, this project has never gotten off the ground )
the demo sounds INCREDIBLE
then it hits the fan, ( again )
mr socalled, ( self appointed ) leader had a simple little dilemma with the keyboard player, & the guy told him to get bent, ( which i would have done myself ) now, most people that i know in this world, in this situation, would get pissed / cool off / & go back about your business, ( you know,, the water off the ducks back kinda thing ) but mr drama king, mr OCD, mr burn your bridges, can't get past the fact that someone told him to @#@#off, & he has let this little ( meaningless ) incident fester & has blown it up to such gargantuan preportions ( in his own small little mind ) " THAT IT IS TAXING MY SOBRIETY " < his actual words,, not mine
oh ya,,,
we're going to have to fire this guy
EDIT: this little incident happened about a month & a half ago, & we have not been back together since mr leaders vagina has been abused like it was
i'm in a band & we may be making a decision soon to actually let the leader go. he's an incredible lead guitar player, ( one of the best i've ever played with ) but he's definitely OCD, & has ZERO people skills whatsoever.
i've been playing with the leader for close to 20 months now, & in that time, we have been thru 4/5 guitar players, 3 drummers, 3/4 singers, & he was a control freak, ( which he's kinda chilled lately, because i've confronted him about it on more than a few occasions, , cause that @#@# don't fly ) it seems like everytime we would get things rolling with a new crew, something minor would happen, & mr drama king, ( leader ) would, ( without consulting me ) fire 'em & burn that bridge before he could even get the match lit. ( have i mentioned yet that he's a recovering alcohol & drug addict from NYC, transplanted out here in the beautiful Bay Area, where most players are laidback-chill kinda guys, that do on occasion partake.... & it drives this guy ( leader ) absolutely nuts,, & starts ranting & raving about his sobriety ( give me a break )
well we finally got a group of pro-quality players with the original singer, ( he's been in/out 3 times ) with a killer keyboard player, ( who we all like alot ) go into the studio & record a demo, so we can shop it out for gigs, ( yes, that's correct, in all this time, with all the personnel changes, this project has never gotten off the ground )
the demo sounds INCREDIBLE
then it hits the fan, ( again )
mr socalled, ( self appointed ) leader had a simple little dilemma with the keyboard player, & the guy told him to get bent, ( which i would have done myself ) now, most people that i know in this world, in this situation, would get pissed / cool off / & go back about your business, ( you know,, the water off the ducks back kinda thing ) but mr drama king, mr OCD, mr burn your bridges, can't get past the fact that someone told him to @#@#off, & he has let this little ( meaningless ) incident fester & has blown it up to such gargantuan preportions ( in his own small little mind ) " THAT IT IS TAXING MY SOBRIETY " < his actual words,, not mine
oh ya,,,
we're going to have to fire this guy
EDIT: this little incident happened about a month & a half ago, & we have not been back together since mr leaders vagina has been abused like it was
I learned this concept from experience. History refers to that experience as my second marriage...
doing this stuff the "right way" doesnt mean it will go easier. I had to fire a guitar player once, and me and the other more serious guitar player met up with him at a mcdonalds (stupid i know... haha) and we did all the "delicate" stuff, like tell him we needed to move in another direction, and that its nothing person and we hope he still sees us as friends, ETC... well he was still pretty crushed... i won't get into the details but he did not take it with dignity.... I think it depends just as much on the professionalism of the person getting the slip.
