• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

How to make someone... Come to practice...

I

IbanezBass69

Jul 14, 2010
304
1
Minnesota
#1
So, I have a very unique issue. My band's Singer/Rhythm guitard seems to always have something better to do. He always acts pumped to practice, has high (sometimes) insane goals that I like in a person. He is a halfway decent guitarist, and can write radio-friendly crap (not necessarily a bad thing around here) like there is no tomorrow. But, even when me and the other 2 members show up on a moments notice, we have to plan practices with him days, sometimes weeks in advance. I would make him leave, but there are a few interesting curveballs to throw in to this story. He is a founding member, pretty much the guy to made the band. He accounts for 2 spots (vox, guitar), and brings a lot to the table in terms of songwriting, industry contacts, things of that nature. So he is useful, but WILL NOT SHOW UP!! Is there anyone with any idea of how to go about telling him to actually be a part of the band? I would rather not leave, as I like these guys and all, and have no connection to another band.

Sorry for the long post, but I need help bad guys.
 
#3
I'm confused a little. Is that he won't show up on a moments notice or he won't show up for a planned rehearsal?

I can't ask my band members to show up on a moments notice and expect them to.
 
#4
He doesn't show up to planned practices. Sorry if I worded that funny. The difference is everyone else shows up whenever, where ever, for however long, and he doesn't show up ever. At all. Yet says he is dedicated to the band. The nutcase wanted to play Warped Tour this year, and we haven't even been able to gig yet, mostly because of his lack of being there to write songs!
 
#6
I play in a popular local band with 2 other guys. Very good chemistry, sound great together, etc. It seems like there were times where we could have crapped on a plate, put a mic on it and people still would have loved us. We just seemed to be liked even when we have bad night. It seems like we can do no wrong. WE don't ever practise because THEY can never make it. So, we end up playing alot of tunes off the cuff. It usually works. Needless to say, after 5 years, we are taking an indefinite break. I feel like our luck is going to run out and your's is too. You can only neglet your duties for so long and then it will catch up to you. It feels like having a very hot girlfriend that cheats on you. You know what it's like when it's great but, is it worth it?:rollno:
 
#7
If it's on a moments notice, I wouldn't expect anyone to show up. I've been in a band before where they would always spring practice on me maybe 30 minutes before it was going to happen. Extremely unprofessional in my opinion. It finally came to a head and I decided to leave. Turns out later that they are still without a bass player as they keep doing this to other bassists that filter through.

Nowadays, I have a set schedule with the two bands that I play with. One practices every Saturday night, the other practices every first Friday night of the month. There have been incidences where I have not been able to make it to the practice, but I always try to give notice beforehand when I can.

I'd say that it is a bit unreasonable to expect someone to show up on a moment's notice all the time. Being a busy student as well as a musician has me constantly running around in circles. The only way that I stay sane is with scheduling.

That being said, I would ask if you could set a schedule for practices, and/or continue to schedule practices beforehand. If this person is not showing up to even the scheduled practices, I would strongly suggest finding someone else who can fit into your schedule and playing style.

Edit: Just read that he isn't showing up to practice at all. Ditch the bum.
 
#8
OK, so you're not springing a rehearsal on the dude. Good.
TheMutt gave you the advice I was gonna. Try putting a set schedule together, pick a day and a time. Also, since he is so useful, as you put it, have you tried politely talking it over with him?
 
#10
I (and I say that as literally just me) arranged a band meeting after about a month of no activity at all, and we all agreed to try to schedule at least 1 night a week, as it is very doable for all of us. We agreed to Thursday night, unless of course something came up. Then we could re-schedule, no problem. Every time we try to tell him to show up, he plays it off like we tell him 10 seconds before he has to be there. At the very least, we would ask that morning if he could practice that evening. Still understandable if he couldn't show. But this morning is a good example. He works at 1. Me, drummer, my brother lead guitarist agree to practice from 9am to whenever we all had to be somewhere. He decides that is too early, doesn't show, would rather party. We all talked about this morning's practice most of Tuesday. I am waiting to see if he shows up on Saturday like we all agreed. We have not practiced with him involved for 2 weeks now I would say. It is getting sickening...
 
#11
"We have the best heart surgeon in the country working at our hospital. Problem is, he has a phobia of operating theaters. We don't want to fire him because he's so good, but he hasn't actually done anything for us so far... what should we do?"
 
#12
What sort of schedule does he have? That may be the key, to scheduling around what he has to do. If he has a job with irregular hours, that may be a challenge but still do-able.

If he really can write good material, you might consider working out some arrangement where you can use his songs & he doesn't have to perform (or rehearse).

If he's just a flake, you're better off without him no matter how many spots in the band he doesn't fill by not being there!
 
#13
This is a little awkward. Since you may have replaced me as the bass player in my band. I have the same exact scenario!

I feel like our singer/rhyguitard/songwriter gets bored with practice. Doesn't want to work at it. Even when he shows up he would rather have a jam session than work on the set list. I have yet to come up with a good way to lure him to practice.
 
#14
tmart937 said:
This is a little awkward. Since you may have replaced me as the bass player in my band. I have the same exact scenario!

I feel like our singer/rhyguitard/songwriter gets bored with practice. Doesn't want to work at it. Even when he shows up he would rather have a jam session than work on the set list. I have yet to come up with a good way to lure him to practice.
Click to expand...

I'm fairly certain that if someone needs to be "lured" into practicing their own music, they obviously consider the whole "band" thing a hobby and nothing more.
 
#16
Stumbo said:
Bottom line, you're not in a band.:atoz:

Time to move on. Nothing to see here. :rolleyes:

Reality can suck sometimes. Sometimes it ruins your dreams. :bawl:

I suggest getting another dream. :)
Click to expand...

I wonder though, should I leave, or should we try to have him leave? The 3 of us get along great, have very similar views on music, and work awesome together. I just want to actually put my bass playing to more use then jamming in my bedroom to my newest CD. Cuz that is lame, lets be honest....
 
#17
IMO, take your 2 band mates with you and move on. Keep what works. Work, on your vocals(all of you). Record your rehearsals and work from there. Write your own tunes. Even if they're basic stuff, you'll get better. Keep learning theory. Every day you waste on someone who doesn't show up is another day gone by that keeps you from playing with your "group".

Doesn't matter how "good" a musician someone is if their work ethic, personality, etc. messes up your business.

Look for others to jam with and see what comes up.

Here are a couple of links that may help you out:
If I only knew then...
Best musical advice

Good luck.
 
#18
Its a bit much to expect someone to show up on a moments notice, most people do have lives outside of music.

I lead a busy life and need a few days advance notice myself for rehearsles in most situations.
 
#19
Those links rock, thanks! I think I have come to the conclusion that I am going to confront the problem person, and see what they say. Kind of give them a final warning if you will. Thank you all for your wonderful help, it has really made me feel better about the whole situation.
 
#20
glocke1 said:
Its a bit much to expect someone to show up on a moments notice, most people do have lives outside of music.

I lead a busy life and need a few days advance notice myself for rehearsles in most situations.
Click to expand...

We do our best to plan ahead for things. But he wouldn't be willing to just not party for one night to show up in the morning like we have to sometimes. He isn't willing to sacrifice happy fun time outside the band to actually be a band member.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back