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How to not suck as a band?

I think that it is common for many seasoned players to get in their head what something is supposed to sound like and then play that way (I'm guilty of that many times). Same with the next guy in the band, and the next and so on. Problem is that they are not always on the same page.

Since many are reluctant to give constructive criticism (because of the usual result), 'Suckville continues to run a deficit.

I'm one of those people who loves to get constructive criticism but reluctant to give it - unless its on an anonymous internet forum. ;)
 
But IMO, the key thing that makes a great band is silence. When everybody is leaving room (sonically and rhythmically) for everything else going on, good things happen.

Usually space requires 2 things: 1) good time, 2) good listening.

You don't have to be a virtuoso whiz-bang musician to make good, listenable, fun music that people want to hear. You DO have to be solid and consistent on your timing and you have to listen intently to each other to make room. The result is often referred to as "tight", "groove", and "feel". "Play the spaces", as they say.

I know it's not quite that simplistic, but that's a good start.

+ a googolplex!!!

This is of PARAMOUNT importance. There is nothing more (other than playing out of tune of course) that labels a band as being inexperienced and immature in development than having a bunch of dudes (or dudettes) all playing full bore and not using space. The pros know this. The budding musician doesn't. Ya ever wonder why the pro bands sound as good as they do? Answer: space.

There is a guy on TB who has a sig that reads something like: "music without space is just notes piling up on itself." I'm not referring to having moments in the song where there is no sound. I am referring to all of the instruments (and vocals) playing together but not stepping on each other and allowing each instrument to stand alone. For example, having two guitar players playing the same chords is major suckage!!

Garage bands often throw together a few power chords, have the bass follow the chords' root notes, and have the drummer pound away. That is a recipe for crrrrrap!!!!

Take time to listen to pro recordings, and you will see what I am referring to. (But be sure to avoid pure garbage like Nickelback and Behemoth.)
 
have not read all 4 pages, so forgive me if this has been covered.

dynamics are key: be dynamic. you are taking the audience on a sonic journey. dynamics are just as important as the notes you play...or don't.

stage volume is key: it doesnt have to be loud to sound good.

tempo is key: dont rush the songs. BIG beginner band mistake.

clean arrangements: tailor arrangements to eliminate weak spots. or make the song flow better for your instrumentation.

resist the urge to over embellish. create space. strip down your arrangements to be simple and clean. as the material becomes familiar and the arrangements get (frog ass tight) you can get a little fancier.
 
Be your own thing. Create a new style, resurrect a now almost dead style. Make your songs as deep, complex, weird, etc. as you wish and don't take popularity over creativity. Believe that you can do great things. Play for more than girls, fame, and fortune. Write good, deep, meaningful, purposed lyrics, develop a unique tone/sound. Don't be afraid to experiment, stylistically. Don't fear long songs. Make your songs different and diverse from each other. And if/when all else fails: be your own record label. Don't wait around for an agent to "discover" you. Don't aim for that. You'll wait forever. Get some recording stuff together, and make a record on your own. Make your dad's basement into your personal studio. That's what my band is about to do. Send demos to as many people as possible, BE PROACTIVE, IMAGINATIVE, UNIQUE, AND DYNAMIC.
 
And another thing, have all very different individual musical backrounds (even if by sub genre preferences) in your band. My guitarist is a Def Leppard Junkie, who is also in symphonic band at our school, and loves to work with alternate tunings, chord structures, and keys, (lots of theory), Our drummer has been in the marching band drumline for 2 years, and has played drums for about 10 and has learned metal, jazz, and pop styles. I'm a Prog-rocker, who also enjoys a bit of acoustic ballad stuff and funk. The thing that makes us unique is how we'll all throw those backrounds into a melting pot with my baritone voice, our guitarist's fuzzy, biting les paul tone, and my heavily crunchy, trebley, lead styled bass, and out pops an Omnipresent pie. (that's our band name...Omnipresent.) Because of that, we really have a hard time being classified. We are prog-oriented in our music's weirdness, themes, complexity, and style. However, we are also a Christian band, which is extremely unusual for prog typically. We also throw in a lot of alternative sounding stuff. I love being in my band, because it all works so well together.
 
There's some great advice in this thread. For my two cents worth..

If I can recall them days (long time ago...) and my first 'real' band:
* Practice. All the time. This is the 'til your fingers bleed part.
* Jam if you must - it will actually help you to be a better player and to play with the other band members. It will help you to get into synch with how each musician reacts to certain situations. Just don't do it live. It's masturbation. You can do this later when you have the right audience. For now: No.
* Look for audience reaction. If there's a song you absolutely love, but it doesn't go well with the audience, drop it.
* Write together. Because guitard or singer writes a riff or lyric or melody doesn't mean the song's evolution stops there or with any one person.
* Pay homage to your heroes, but be yourself. The audience came to see you play, not Les Claypool. Find your own sound and style.
* Have a good time, all the time.
* Play the song. Look at someone like Lee Sklar. He can shred when he has to, but will play two notes all night if that's what the song needs. Look at Tool's "Sober" - would it sound awesome with a million 16th notes on bass?
* Lock in with the drummer. It's what makes the difference between tight and suck. Develop a synergy. There's a drummer I play with on occasion now, but have played on and off with for 17 years. He knows when I'm going to play a fill, and vice versa. We know how to play together. That's key.
* Know your audience. Don't sign up for "Dance night" when you have a death metal band (or vice versa) just to get a gig. You won't turn them around (not yet, anyway).
* Have patience. You are more than likely not going to be an overnight sensation, so pace yourself. The Beatles were fabulous, but the worked their butts off in relative obscurity for a while first. That's where they honed their chops.
* Reliable gear that you know and understand. You don't have to have a 'fridge' and SVT or a kick-a$$ hi-fi rig, just something that allows you to be heard in the context of the gig and will not break down, squeal, hiss, or fart on you during a gig. Control is very important. That goes for guitard too.
* LISTEN.