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I've been in a similar situation. The band was looking to move a different direction, and I just didn't have any passion for it. At a band meeting I started talking about how it might be time for me to move on, being completely honest about how my goals and theirs weren't matching up. Funny thing was, they were feeling the same way but had a hard time coming up with the time and way to have the conversation (being 1 of the 2 founding members still in the band). All this is the long way to say, be honest. You may find that some of the other members may feel the same. It's better to have them upset/uncomfortable with your truthfulness than to sugar-coat it and have them find out the truth later. I'm not sure how the music scene is in your town, but in my town it's a well networked community and word always gets out.
We had a drummer quit a few months back who did it in a way we all appreciated. We were all having a beer after practice died down and he asked "Is what we're doing what you all want to be doing?". We all had something to say, but all agreed that we liked the music we were playing. He said it wasn't really for him and he wanted to pursue something more down his alley (metal). We thanked him for his honesty, wished him the best of luck, and all made it out for his first show with his new band.
Tell em you're just not feeling it anymore...and tell em about dissing your music ideas as part of it...just don't let them talk you into reconsidering so they can have a free jam shack. The ones that are really your friends, as opposed to the fairweather gig jam friends we have all become accustomed to over the years, will be calling to put something new together soon enough...good luck.
That month will only keep the band at a stand still if there are no gigs in their future. They would be better off using all that time to find a new bass player. It's never nice to waste other people's time, even if they think it's nice. Like I said, "being too nice is the meanest thing you can do sometimes".
I understand what you mean. If you feel like giving a notice, two weeks seems more like a less awkward amount of time to offer.
madbass6
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like any other job try to leave in good terms! depending on commitments give them a fair two weeks / 30 days notice to have time to find your replacement! again , like any other job! dont just quit or walk out on them and most defenetly do not just not show up to the next gig! you dont want to burn your bridges!
When the band is practicing in your garage, you are sacrificing your workspace & your ideas and input are not considered a priority what are you really losing?..
I mean, besides the time that could be spent on something more valuable for yourself..?
These folks seem that they need to be honest with themselves as it appears they are stagnant, floundering & anything but shark-like.. ?
I mean, besides the time that could be spent on something more valuable for yourself..?
These folks seem that they need to be honest with themselves as it appears they are stagnant, floundering & anything but shark-like.. ?
Exactly, be truthful, honest and sincere. If they value you half as much as you value them this should be a kind of easy conversation. If someone flips out, take a day or so and try again.
Tell them you're not feeling it anymore and you're done.
Be firm, but if you want to be nice I wouldn't even bother telling them that you're annoyed about having your ideas rejected and the band stagnating. That won't help anything and will just start arguments and bad blood. Who knows if you may end up in a band with one of these guys some day or they could speak well of you in the future and lead to a new gig.
As much as you might want to air your grievances, the nice, tactical and smart thing to do is to politely tell them it's over and move on.
Be firm, but if you want to be nice I wouldn't even bother telling them that you're annoyed about having your ideas rejected and the band stagnating. That won't help anything and will just start arguments and bad blood. Who knows if you may end up in a band with one of these guys some day or they could speak well of you in the future and lead to a new gig.
As much as you might want to air your grievances, the nice, tactical and smart thing to do is to politely tell them it's over and move on.
I quit my last band due to lack of respect. Got shot down on 9 of 10 cover song suggestions, time to move along. Life is too short. (especially for something I am doing for fun, not any real money)
Negative.
Honesty is the best policy. Plus you won't have any guilt or regrets. You could get in a bind with her or the band members if the truth is revealed.
"Guys, I've been doing some thinking and I am losing interest in the band thing.
I'm wanting to get into some other hobbies and I need my garage back.
Sorry, but for the time being I'm out.
You are going to have to find a new place to play if you want to go on."
Just say it and don't try to overcomplicate it.
Leave out the personal issues about not feeling your input is valued.
That might make them feel defensive and it's irrelevant since you have other perfectly good reasons.
You have a right to do your own thing in life. You are not married to these guys.
What you are wanting to do should not be a friendship breaker if they are true friends.
I'm wanting to get into some other hobbies and I need my garage back.
Sorry, but for the time being I'm out.
You are going to have to find a new place to play if you want to go on."
Just say it and don't try to overcomplicate it.
Leave out the personal issues about not feeling your input is valued.
That might make them feel defensive and it's irrelevant since you have other perfectly good reasons.
You have a right to do your own thing in life. You are not married to these guys.
What you are wanting to do should not be a friendship breaker if they are true friends.
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Just tell them that you have some other interests and plan on leaving. Give them a deadline to find a replacement. Do any gigs which you have already committed to unless they tell you otherwise.
What's all this honesty garbage? No one wants to be told the truth. It offends people.
Tell them you have cancer and need to take a break for chemotherapy and radiation treatment. Assure them that if you survive then you'll call them when you want to get the band back together. And if they don't hear from you by next Xmas, then you died.
Tell them you have cancer and need to take a break for chemotherapy and radiation treatment. Assure them that if you survive then you'll call them when you want to get the band back together. And if they don't hear from you by next Xmas, then you died.
In the meantime, buy an RV and start cookng meth out in the desert and become a dangerous drug lord.
... I saw someone do that on TV.
