How would you feel about this...

[lokikallas]

I was in a band with a “drummer”. Nice guy, but...
Basically everyone “quit” the band, reformed without him, under a different name and concept.
We left him with the band name and concept, but no band. It was a bit passive aggressive, but we didn’t want to fire him, and we wanted a new drummer.
Are you that guy maybe?

 

[mrcbass]

I was in a band with a “drummer”. Nice guy, but...
Basically everyone “quit” the band, reformed without him, under a different name and concept.
We left him with the band name and concept, but no band. It was a bit passive aggressive, but we didn’t want to fire him, and we wanted a new drummer.
Are you that guy maybe?

Well the difference is that the spinoff used the original band's name and concept which to me was the biggest issue with the dbag move. For what ever reason, they wanted to do the project with a different bass player. Like I said in my first post, they could have just fired him (which was the practical result), but they chose to play the game they did AND steal the "brand". I can handle "not being the right fit" (for whatever the reason is), but don't steal my ball and start a new game on the sly. OP may never have even caught on that they stole his project idea if they had used a different name.

 

[oldrocker]

I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible.

About 6 months ago, I was in a start up project - 4 piece rock covers. The sub-genre was actually quite specific and the name and logo were unique. We rehearsed a couple of months but it never got off the ground as the guitar player, "Rick" suddenly bailed, out of the blue saying he had no time for the commitment. I will also mention that Rick's good friend, "John" plays bass and they were in a former project together.
The vocalist "Bob", drummer "Stu", and I recruited another guitar player and retooled to go in another direction. Changed up the sub-genre, new songs, new name, and basically started over. We're still trying to get off the ground with this project too. We've had one gig and one more scheduled for next month, after a couple months of rehearsing. Things seem to be on track and going ok.

Today I learned that "Bob" and "Stu" have rejoined with Rick and John and are promoting their "new" band. The band is the same project we had originally started 6 months ago with Rick. Same sub-genre, same name, same logo. So, in other words, they re-started the same project only with "John on bass and not me. And I might add, never mentioning anything to me, despite the fact that I'm still in a band with "Bob" and "Stu."

We're all adults and good players. I can hold my own and always show up as the most prepared at each rehearsal. So it's not a case of being the weak link or anything.

How should I feel about this? I know guys play in multiple bands and I'm totally fine with that, but not the same name, genre, and logo of the project I helped start? A project in which I invested a lot of time learning the material I might add.

From where I stand, Rick walked away from a promising project, so he could play with his buddy John and then recruited Bob and Stu to restart the project without me. I'm not sure I can accept that. Seems pretty underhanded.

Is this normal behavior or am I over reacting? My impulse is to say screw this and walk away from the current band.

Could it have happened this way -

Rick really did not have time for the project so stepped away. 6 months down the road he does have the time and wants to play again. The spot in his original band has been filled so he puts together another project with his bass player buddy.

Meanwhile in the ensuing months the original project that Bob and Stu were a part has been hijacked and does not play the stuff from the original project. Bob and Stu really liked the concept of the original project so when they heard that Rick and his bass player were reviving that vision they went along to play with Rick while at the same time playing with OP and the new guitar player in project #2.

 

[TWolf]

Could it have happened this way -

Rick really did not have time for the project so stepped away. 6 months down the road he does have the time and wants to play again. The spot in his original band has been filled so he puts together another project with his bass player buddy.

Meanwhile in the ensuing months the original project that Bob and Stu were a part has been hijacked and does not play the stuff from the original project. Bob and Stu really liked the concept of the original project so when they heard that Rick and his bass player were reviving that vision they went along to play with Rick while at the same time playing with OP and the new guitar player in project #2.

This is certainly plausible, but there is one key bit of information that thickens the plot a little. When Rick left the project wasn't really "hijacked." Bob, being the vocalist, had pretty much had final say on song selection and he had the rehearsal space. You could say he was the defacto BL. Much of the decisions were democratic and discussed by all. But he was kind of the guy who had final say. So when Rick left it was my impression that we would replace him and continue on down the same road. It was a good concept, good set list, etc. I was digging the scheme. But no, the project wasn't hijacked, BOB is the one who pulled the plug on it after Rick left and new guy came in. He and he alone made the decision to drop the whole thing. Now new guy is a little bit younger cat, and a good player. Not quite on Rick's level and not quite the quantity of gear Rick had, pedals and different effects and such, but still a solid player with solid semi-pro gear like the rest of us.
But Bob immediately pulls the plug on the whole project. HE"S the one who says we have to blow it up and start over with the basic tried and true classic rock everyone else is doing because it "fits new guy's style more". Now maybe that was true, and I'm just the bass player so I go along. But it seems to me he could play the stuff. So it's just another piece of the puzzle that's got me thinking the whole thing was a set up to reform the band with the besti bass player and move me out without actually firing me. Again, just be up front about it. The thing that got me was nobody telling me about it. I considered Bob a friend. Maybe that's why he didn't/couldn't tell me up front. I'm a solid intermediate player. I've heard the new guy play on video, he's ok too, but no virtuoso. I think Rick just wanted his buddy in the band and put the screws to Bob to make it happened and he went along with it, then devised a plan to supposedly make it easiest on me. But that usually gets messy as it did and now I've lost a friend and band mate.
On their new fb page, there are posts from May so this has been in the works for a little while.
Oh well, moving on and moving up!

 

[edro]

Methinks a bit too much imagined conspiratorial subterfuge in the mix....

I think it was more of lets do this one on the side... Lack of consideration, but I doubt some big conspiracy....


Just move on.... Don't waste synaptic activity on Dil & Do's hidden illuminati agenda.... Move on....

Not letting tish just plain drop allows folks to own you as long as you won't let it go...

 

[PauFerro]

OP here,
I want to give a big thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to this thread. Tons of great feedback, advice, and most of all support and encouragement. So, sincerely THANK YOU to all.

I've decided to leave the current situation with Bob and Stu and find some new dudes to play with. I've already notified Bob (vocalist) via text message and will meet with him tomorrow evening when I pick up my gear from his house. I may or may not agree to do the August gig already on the books depending on how that conversation goes. If the text conversation was any indication though, it doesn't look promising.

I'd consider making sure Stu knows the reason you're leaving. It sounds like he's not too happy; I think he needs to know you would've stayed if they hadn't fired you. Or if they had've been transparent about their plans to stay with the old band.

It's strange how people sometimes miss the perspectives of other people -- they can't see the logical impact on other's behavior. And this is true even when just about every onlooker agrees with the person wronged.

I also think it's better not to do the gig. In the past, I've worked with people who are too egocentric,and unapologetic,

 

[Staredge]

My first band, I brought a guy in as a backup. Fired another guitarist as he had issues (he was ok with it and recognized them). Brought the new guy in. He & I bumped heads a bit, but I figured we were ok. Auditioned a new drummer. Couple of weeks later, new guy quit. Mom needed help, couldn’t dedicate enough time, etc. same day, my other guitarist quits. Same kind of time issues. Hit the new drummer up, told him I’d keep looking, but he was noncommittal about staying. Few months later, they started another band (same niche genre, same song list) with another bass player (who I’ve known for a couple of years). They lasted a few months. My new band is going fairly strong. I’m over it, now.

 

[JohnDL]

I'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible.

About 6 months ago, I was in a start up project - 4 piece rock covers. The sub-genre was actually quite specific and the name and logo were unique. We rehearsed a couple of months but it never got off the ground as the guitar player, "Rick" suddenly bailed, out of the blue saying he had no time for the commitment. I will also mention that Rick's good friend, "John" plays bass and they were in a former project together.
The vocalist "Bob", drummer "Stu", and I recruited another guitar player and retooled to go in another direction. Changed up the sub-genre, new songs, new name, and basically started over. We're still trying to get off the ground with this project too. We've had one gig and one more scheduled for next month, after a couple months of rehearsing. Things seem to be on track and going ok.

Today I learned that "Bob" and "Stu" have rejoined with Rick and John and are promoting their "new" band. The band is the same project we had originally started 6 months ago with Rick. Same sub-genre, same name, same logo. So, in other words, they re-started the same project only with "John on bass and not me. And I might add, never mentioning anything to me, despite the fact that I'm still in a band with "Bob" and "Stu."

We're all adults and good players. I can hold my own and always show up as the most prepared at each rehearsal. So it's not a case of being the weak link or anything.

How should I feel about this? I know guys play in multiple bands and I'm totally fine with that, but not the same name, genre, and logo of the project I helped start? A project in which I invested a lot of time learning the material I might add.

From where I stand, Rick walked away from a promising project, so he could play with his buddy John and then recruited Bob and Stu to restart the project without me. I'm not sure I can accept that. Seems pretty underhanded.

Is this normal behavior or am I over reacting? My impulse is to say screw this and walk away from the current band.

I don't think it's normal to treat people the way you have been treated. Personally, I would probably walk away and say nothing because it would feel like some sort of little club that I was not invited to join.

 

[SactoBass]

Yeah, not cool. Not your friends, and not people I would have any faith in moving forward.

^^^THIS!

 

[SactoBass]

Not cool, sound like flakes...who knows what their gonna pull in the future...If they weren't adult enough to tell you, then go elsewhere...... a trainwreck waiting to happen....Let them know how you feel professionally with respect and move on.

Biiiiiig +1

 

[TWolf]

Methinks a bit too much imagined conspiratorial subterfuge in the mix....

I think it was more of lets do this one on the side... Lack of consideration, but I doubt some big conspiracy....


Just move on.... Don't waste synaptic activity on Dil & Do's hidden illuminati agenda.... Move on....

Not letting tish just plain drop allows folks to own you as long as you won't let it go...

You may be right, i may be overthinking it. It doesn't matter. It's done now.

 

[PauFerro]

@TWolf I hope you let us know what happens after your equipment pick-up and inevitable talk with Stu.

 

[p12bassnut]

Methinks a bit too much imagined conspiratorial subterfuge in the mix....

I think it was more of lets do this one on the side... Lack of consideration, but I doubt some big conspiracy....


Just move on.... Don't waste synaptic activity on Dil & Do's hidden illuminati agenda.... Move on....

Not letting tish just plain drop allows folks to own you as long as you won't let it go...

See above ^

 

[TWolf]

@TWolf I hope you let us know what happens after your equipment pick-up and inevitable talk with Stu.

I'll update the thread for sure. I was originally supposed to get my stuff tomorrow, but Bob texted me back, apparently he forget Thursday was the 4th. He asked if I could wait until Saturday, so that is when I will have a chance to talk with him.
After I initially told Bob I was out on Tuesday night, I sent a group text this morning just making an official announcement. Stu's response was the typical " Aww man, that sucks. Fun while it lasted" type of thing. I don't think he really considered the consequences of any of this. He is more of a follower. He's just a goes wherever he can play kind of guy. My resentment mostly lies with Rick for creating this, and Bob for not being a stand up guy and letting me know about it.

Edit: sorry, got my days mixed up. Been a long week

 

[JohnDL]

The fact that these guys did this thing behind your back really sucks.

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Basically, talk to the two guys that you're in a band with now, I think it's "Rick" and "Stu". Don't second guess everything, ask them. Then, based on their responses, make your decision on whether to continue or not.

 

[Dean N]

I wonder what story they told the new bass guy.

All 3 are spineless turds. Run, don't walk. And no gig. Tell them to use their new guy.

Hopefully you recover your gear.

 

[TWolf]

@TWolf I hope you let us know what happens after your equipment pick-up and inevitable talk with Stu.

So here's the resolution:
I went over to Bob's and picked up my gear. No problems, no issues, I didn't expect there would be any. He had my stuff gathered up and cables rolled up, etc. I had to get my cab, mic stand, guitar stand, our practice P.A, P.A speakers, and all associated cables.
It was weird. There was a little small talk and he helped me load everything. He acted like nothing had ever happened. Just completely not getting it. Surreal.
I just said to him, "You should have told me". He got defensive. Started defending his position with unrelated points like saying he was always committed and always prepared at rehearsal. I agreed with him, but told him that had nothing to do with the situation and that he just should have told me. He again started arguing that he didn't owe anyone anything because it was his original concept. I just shook my head. It was obvious that I wasn't going to get anywhere.
We finished loading and he mentioned the August gig. I said, "I think you better find somebody else". He said well I'll just cancel it.
I shook his hand. Got in the truck and drove off.
Mind blowing. A guy I considered my friend. One of those guys you think you will be playing with for 10 years and then out out of the blue...a kick in the teeth.

 

[Eilif]

Glad it went off without too much rancor.
You were unlikely to get any acknowledgement or satisfaction from him but based on his response at least you know for sure exactly what kind of person you were dealing with.

I "don't owe anyone anything because" might sometimes be technically true, but it's rarely heard from the mouth of anyone I want to be spending my time with.

Shake the dust from your sandals and good luck on the next project.

 

[MynameisMe]

About 20 years ago my favorite sports station here in town was unexpectedly shut down.
I listened to one of the sports announcers argue on air with the program director about why.
It was kind of sad.
Listening to that exchange taught me that when it’s over, it’s over.
At some point There’s no room for discussion and we end up feeling foolish.
Turn the page and move on.
It probably won’t be the last time you’re burned when dealing with flaky musicians.